This question comes from Betty in Boga:

“Dear Big Angry Trev.  My whole family supports you in your war against the mosquitoes!  Do you have any tips for us so that we may battle them too?”

Well Betty, like any great battle there are two main areas you need to consider – offense and defense.  I’ll assume you already have the supply chains to your troops in place so lets get straight to weaponry eh!

 

Offense – Weapon 1 – the HAND!

Not just for self-gratification and the ferrying of meat and beer to the mouth, your hand is your first line of attack when battling the airborne foe.  Mosquitoes don’t fly as fast as flies do so quick reflexes and a clap of the hands wshould guarantee a kill.  Be careful though when slapping them when they have already alighted on you, I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve deafened myself by slapping my ear or had to go have a sit down because I whacked at one too hard that had landed on my crotch.

 

Offense – Weapon 2 – the SWATTER!

A lot more fun than actually effective.  It gives you good reach and speed but more often than not will just injure – not kill.

 

Offense – Weapon 3 – AIRBORNE SPRAYS!

Very good for indoors, give a room a damn good spray and watch all mozzies in the area drop like flies!  If they are bad indoors it’s a good idea to give your bedroom a spray before turning in.  Downside of these is that they are not particularly effective outdoors unless you actually hit the target.  One trick I have learned is to leave the outdoor light on for an hour at night, then go and spray the million mozzies that have been attracted to it.  Of course, that’s a lot of corpses to be cleaned up in the morning but since they are your enemies you should do it with a vengeful smile on your face!

 

Offense – Weapon 4 – the ZAPPER!

Puts out UV light which attracts the mozzies and then when they get too close ZAP!  Instant electrocution!  I went and bought the biggest one I could find.  There are a few downsides though.  Very ineffective during the day as their light is drowned out by the sun, even if you hang them in a shady area.  Also the bigger ones need to be plugged in which usually necessitates it being close to your house or shed.  Personally I have mine hung under the verandah as far from the front door as possible since they need to attract mozzies to the area before it can kill them.

 

Defense – Weapon 1 – CREAMS and SPRAYS

Lots of different bug repellents on the market and all work to a greater or lesser degree.  The mozzies we have this season seem to happily pierce clothing so I give my clothes a good spray of Aeroguard as well before going around the farm.  There are lots of kid friendly brands and you can get creams that are both sunscreens and big repellents in one.

 

Defense – Weapon 2 – CITRONELLA CANDLES

These may seem a bit hippy but they do work.  They give off a smoke from the wax and wick that keeps the mozzies at bay.  While having a candle or two lit is always nice, these are completely ineffective on a windy day outside and are too smelly to use indoors.

 

Defense – Weapon 3 – INDUSTRIAL GRADE BARRIER CHEMICALS!

Now we are talking!  These are designed to keep damn near every bug in existence away!  Spray it on the ground, ants wont walk over it.  Spray it on the walls, the smell sends away the fliers.  Spray it around doorframes, no spiders trying to get in.  Really does work a treat!  I use Insectigone which, while not as strong as some others, emits no odours humans can detect, has no detrimental effect on kids or animals, and if you reduce the dosage (you mix this stuff with water then spray it) you can even spray it on plants!  I’ve given my veranda a good going over and since I’ve done it I only get a couple of mozzies there a day instead of dozens.  Only downside with these are if the mozzies are already chasing you or actually on you, they wont give a damn when you cross the barrier line and then they are trapped in with you until you kill’em.  Also these are usually available at places that sell proper chemicals, not supermarkets.

 

Good luck with the war Betty – and as a great man once said – KILL!  KILL THEM ALL!