Tag Archives: The Last Knight

Transformer Movies – all 9 ranked from Worst to Best!

Please note: This ranking does not take into account the two Japanese movies based on the various Japanese Transformers animated series.  Maybe (if I can find a place to watch them online) they will be included at a future date.  It covers only the 9 Transformers movies that saw a western cinematic release.

Transformers One has finished up in theatres, it being the second animated Transformers movie and the 9th in the western franchise overall.  More than any other part of Transformers, be it the comics or cartoons or toylines, the movies have divided fans.  Many Transformers fans have grown up on the live action movies, or were first attracted to Transformers by it hitting the big screen.  Others have lamented films with more humans than robots, convoluted and contradictory storylines, unrecognisable classic characters and even coined the term ‘Bayverse’ – a derogatory term to refer to this part of the franchise as more concerned with big explosions than any form of storytelling.

But love them or loathe them, most fans who has seen all the movies has in their head their own personal list of ‘best to worst’, judging the films by their own personal criteria.

Ghostbusters Movies: All 5 ranked from Worst to Best!

So here is Big Angry Trev’s own list of the Transformers movies, starting with my least liked and working up to Number 1!

 

Number #9 – The Last Knight

Movie Review – Transformers: The Last Knight

Saw this in the cinema, and have watched the Blu Ray a total of twice, both times at the behest of someone else.  This is a movie that ran for over 2 ½ hours and may have been better received if they had shaved a lot of that runtime off.  Even upon multiple viewings the storyline jumps around too much to coherently follow – first they are hiding out in a junkyard, then they are racing through the streets of London, then they are undersea looking for a tomb and then finally up in the air fighting on broken bits of Cybertron.  Throw in a few human storylines, most of which were superfluous, the appearance of Unicron’s horns which were never properly investigated, and Merlin to boot and you had too much going on to properly sit back and enjoy.

Toys Review – The Last Knight: Steelbane, Cogman & Sqweeks

The movie did have some positives going for it.  The reemergence of Barricade, Welker finally voicing Megatron, Optimus Prime becoming Nemesis Prime and having a smackdown with Bumblebee, finding out what happened to Cybertron after TF3 etc.  Also a few good battle scenes; Crosshairs jumping from the back of a stolen Con flyer, deploying parachutes and blasting enemies will always stick in my head as one of the best visuals of the entire series.

Toy Review – MB-20 Nemesis Prime

But in the end none of this could make up for a French-sounding Hot Rod, Marky-Mark removing his shirt for no reason, Combiners that seemed to flow together instead of actually transforming and a plotline that left you going ‘huh?’.

Toy Review – The Last Knight Infernocus

 

Number #8 – Revenge of The Fallen

If only the movie had been as awesome as the toyline!

I feel part of the reason this movie is so disliked by much of the Fandom is that it seemed such a letdown after the relatively well received first movie, and many feared such a sequel would put an end to the live action Transformer flicks altogether.  Bay blamed much of the movies faults on the writers strike.  We can be thankful that the latest strike did not similarly adversley affect the Transformers One movie.

This was a movie made for 13 year old boys.  Considering its Transformers perhaps that should not be too surprising.  The crass humour was dialled up big time and for me (as someone who has avoided even learning about Kiss Players) the most cringeworthy thing to ever happen in all of Transformers was watching Wheelie hump Mikalya’s leg. Devastator having testicles, dogs humping other dogs, a fleshy tongue on the end of a metal tendril trying to lick Sam, a sidekick in his underwear demanding toilet paper, a stoned mother and Jetfire farting a parachute – the childish humour seemed to never end.  Add to this… urgh… the Twins, the most racially insensitive thing in Transformers since Carbombiya, and this movie felt like it was written by Beavis & Butthead after they discovered pot.

Toy Review – Studio Series Scrapper

Like TLK, this movie still had some good points.  The introduction of The Matrix, the Original 13 Primes, The Fallen and the Pretender concept were welcome parts of Transformers lore to be included into the live action universe.  Soundwave becoming a Communications Satellite was a clever idea and him ejecting Ravage in order to infiltrate an installation was very cool.  This is also where Soundwave got his tendrils, a concept carried over into TF3, Prime and RID15.  The way Devestator combined was dramatically done, even if he subsequently only smashed bricks and sucked sand.  Despite only being a byproduct of the movie, it is also worth noting that ROTF brought us one of the best and most  expansive toylines of the live action franchise, indeed Bludgeon who wasn’t even in the movie receiving the best toy he has ever had!

Toy Review – Studio Series: Scrapmetal

But once again despite all the positives, too many negatives were contained in this film to overlook, and thus Revenge of the Fallen comes second last in the Transformers list of fav movies.

 

Number #7 – Age of Extinction

Grimlock on the big screen baby!

The previous two movies are widely regarded as the worst of the Transformer flicks so I doubt them coming in at numbers 9 & 8 will raise many eyebrows.  Likewise I doubt this movie will cause a lot of contention by not being #1.  Age of Extinction had a lot going for it, a new human cast (Shiah LeBouf having taken to wearing a paper bag on his head by this point), new robots whilst still retaining a few fan faves that survived the slaughter of DOTM, an interesting plotline and a cool bad guy.  Yes, Lockdown (imported from the Animated universe) made a refreshing change; a bounty hunter not involved in the Autobot/Decepticon conflict who could turn his face into a sniper cannon.  The Autobots on the run, hiding out from being hunted down by the government was also a nice change of pace from being teamed up with Lennox and his crew.  Throw in a few Dinobots, an evil Fraiser and the old trope of Megatron being reborn as Galvatron and you’ve got a winner right?

Toy Review – Nemesis Grimlock

Well… sorta.  In a franchise that often let its movies run too long in order to fit in as many Michael Bay explosions as possible, this one was the longest coming in at a whopping 165 minutes!  Even if you are enjoying yourself, that’s too damn long!  By the time Lockdown’s ship was using its gravity weapon to suck up boats and building, simply to dump them down again, your average viewer was exhausted.  Like TLK, it may have been better received if it had cut at least half an hour of superfluous material.  The Dinobots were very cool, but seemed to be more monsters than Dino’s, whilst Hound had transformed from a nature lover to a rotund, gun-toting drill sergeant.  The whole storyline of Tessa Yeager was just fricken creepy!  All the skimpy outfits and sexual innuendos attached to a 17 year old girl dating a 20 year old was just…. bleegh!  Don’t get me wrong, I like looking at pretty girls on a big screen as much as the next guy, but this just made you feel gross, especially that ‘Romeo & Juliet Law’ thing.  The Lucas Flannery character stating ‘There goes a couple of dune bugs’ while he leers at other underage girls paled in comparison and that’s saying something.  The other negative for die hard fans was Transformium (not to be confused with the fantastic Transformatorium) – we want to see robots cleverly turn into vehicles and back – turning into a bunch of pixels is just cheating.

This was a movie that had more positives than negatives, yet one cant help think that if Cade was bereft of children this movie would have been shorter and less creepy on the whole.

 

Number #6 – Dark of the Moon

Optimus, save me from another movie like ROTF!

Okey Dokey, now we are getting to the better stuff!  DOTM (in my opinion, remember – these are just my opinions.  But because they are mine they are fantastic!) brought Transformers back from the depths that ROTF sent it tumbling into, giving us an action-packed and interesting movie full of battling bots destroying everything in their path.  No street fight with a dozen bots, no skirmish out in the desert in Qatar – this flick gave us huge battles where Chicago got ripped to shreds as the Bots and Cons went head to head!  This movie had a coherent storyline that seemed to stay on track and kept the plot moving forward at a good pace. It was not frantic enough you lost the plot, nor slow enough you got bored.  The humans were at least tolerable (for the most part) though that toilet scene was plain weird and Sam’s mother had gone from amusing to disturbing.  Optimus having his trailer, the appearance of The Wreckers, buildings toppling over from some giant driller thingie – all pro’s.  With the addition of  Laserbeak becoming a pink version of Bee so he could kill some kids Dad and you’ve got yourself a bonifide action movie boys and girls!

Was the movie perfect?  Oh my no, hence why it sits at No #6.  Sam’s as big a loony as ever, jumping around with a Con-watch attached to his wrist.  The Autobots are far more brutal than the Decepticons, examples being the Wreckers ripping an enemy limb from limb and Optimus killing both Megs AND Sentinel at the end of the movie, even as the latter asked for mercy.  Shockwave is grossly under-utilized for such a major character, and lets all thank the powers that be that they decided to make Wheeljack named Que instead, because he looked like Einstein got reanimated as a robotic skeleton.

Quibbles aside, this was a pretty good movie and if nothing else, acted like TF:TM by killing off a lot of the old bots so we could enjoy some new ones the next time round.

 

Number #5 – Transformers

Off to finally see some live-action Transformers!

Now, to clarify, I actually like DOTM more than the 2007 Transformers movie.  But credit where credit is due, this is the flick that brought the franchise into the world of live-action movies and was successful enough those movies are still being made 16 years later, so ya gotta give it some props.

Yes, this was the movie that had some sections of the fandom crying ‘Michael Bay raped my childhood’ – and what a stupid platitude that was.  You still see social media groups today that have vowed after the first live-action movie to never watch another one, or have deemed anything not purely G1 as an abomination.  To these people I say: once you’ve closed yourself off to anything new, then stagnate you will, and so will the franchise you apparently love so much.

For me nothing will ever quite match the magic I felt as I watched Blackout transform for the first time.  And as for Optimus transforming from Truck to Robot – I had to put a hand over my mouth and stifle a little sob of joy.  It may not have been G1 but here was the Transformers finally done in live-action, and they weren’t f’ing it up!

Oh the Geewunner in me decried a lot of the movies aesthetics.  Megatron and Starscream were as ugly as sin, Ironhide and Ratchet were the wrong colours and so on.  And that’s when they were actually on screen – for a lot of this movie you sat there wondering ‘When are the robots going to come back?’  For a movie called Transformers, they certainly seemed to take a back seat a lot of the time.

The humans?  Well besides taking up too much screen time they weren’t too bad.  Sam hadn’t gone insane yet and neither had his mother, her short performances being the comedic highlights of the film.  Mikayla was quite a strong character for someone who the male audience was supposed to primarily drool over, and Lennox and his team did their best to not be simple jarheads, actually adding to the plot nicely.

So yes, this movie had a lot of faults, but for bringing Transformers into the mainstream and giving the franchise a gigantic shot in the arm which it still benefits from today, Transformers 2007 comes in at the halfway point atNumber #5 for me.

 

Number #4 – Rise of the Beasts

Movie Review – Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

I originally had this movie as Number #2 a year ago, but found that over time it just doesn’t have that ‘rewatch’ value that the movies I’ve ranked higher do.   That said, it is still a highly entertaining film  –  with far less humans and far more Bots, new factions and – gasp – Unicron himself, we get a fantastic movie with Transformers banding together to save the world itself!

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts – Special Preview Screening Event!

I love Bumblebee, I do.  He’s a great character and my son’s favourite.  However many of us were suffering from Bumblebee overload.  Every movie, every cartoon, every toyline, everything from 2007 onwards he has been front and centre.  And sure, it makes sense as he’s the posterbot for the franchise now.  But after starring in his own movie I was very happy to see Mirage step up to take his place and Bee to be sidelined for much of the adventure.

Video: Interviews at Transformers Rise of the Beasts Preview Screening

Was this the Mirage of old.  Well, no.  In fact when you first see his altmode you think ‘Jazz is back!’ It’s rather odd how much they made his vehicle look like Jazz, though they did give a holographic shout out to his old mode.  His invisibility is gone, but his holographic powers from the original tech specs and the Netflicks cartoon are in evidence.  For me he was a tad too cheery, a tad too immature and he was able to swap altmodes far too easy – he can have the bulk of a garbage truck but be as small as an exosuit?  Transforming seems less special when you make it almost limitless.

Optimus is sounding old and weary.  And who can blame him, Cullen is 82 now!  The poor old bloke will be on his deathbed and still have a boom hanging over his head so he can voice Prime.  One wonders if they cast Prime in the ‘concerned weary leader’ role just to take into account the voice actors age.  That said, he still rocks it as he always does and he is respected and loved by beast and bot alike.

Transformers Beasts Base Camp

Scourge makes a passable bad guy, an amalgamation of his G1 and RID(01) incarnations, being a black truck with his Sweep minions (looking like Frenzy’s cousins).  Battletrap is awesome in the battle scenes with those chains of his, it’s only Nightbird that doesn’t add much to the trio.  The Maximals Optimus Primal and Airazor get a lot of dialogue and screentime, though fan favourites Cheetor & Rhinox do little indeed.  Arcee seems a good mix, looking similar in bot mode to the Bumblebee movie and similar in altmode to her ROTF incarnationIts just Wheeljack that got fans annoyed, and it turned out there was a lot of noise over a character that barely appeared.  And like many fans, I’m remaining hopeful of a Stratosphere action figure.

The ROTB Wheeljack Controversy

And perhaps this is why this movie ranks for me as one of the highest of the live-action movies – I can spend all this time taking about the robot characters.  Yes, they were finally characters with dialogue and weren’t one-dimensional killing machines, a precedent set in the Bumblebee movie that was thankfully followed on.

Toy Review – Studio Series Airazor

There were a couple of humans too of course, and it was nice to see there wasn’t a romantic/sexual story between them, a refreshing change.  They weren’t annoying either.  And whilst they got a lot of screen time, perhaps for the first time since the 80’s the robots were truly the stars of a Transformers movie.

 

Number #3 – Bumblebee

Movie Review – Bumblebee

This is the movie that so many die hard fans wish that Transformers 2007 had been.  First we are treated to a scene with all the bots battling on Cybertron, and they look like themselves again!  No weird colour schemes, no faces and bodies so mashed and distorted that once they move you cant tell what part of a bot you are looking at, all those aesthetic quibbles gone.  Cybertron looks like Cybertron again too, its not some Hexagonal mesh covered in bots that are the same colour as its surface and it’s not in bits and pieces flying over the Earth either.  It was all so beautiful it could bring a tear to the hardest Geewuners optic sensor.

Of course this did not last long and off to Earth they went, but not many of them.  Yes, by only having Bumblebee, Shatter and Dropkick on Earth you got to see their characters actually develop, interact with humans, interact with each other – you know, actually act like characters in a movie instead of murderbots.

Charlie Watson remains to this day the most likeable human out of the entire movie franchise.  You empathise with her woes and you celebrate her victories.  She’s not going nuts, or trying to shag someone, or being overly heroic or sexualised or insane.  You hate Tina Lark and laugh when Bumblebee smashes up her car, you root for Memo as he tries to step up to be a hero despite being scared shitless, and manages to show his romantic interest for Charlie without being sleazy.

And how much 80’s nostalgia could they pack in eh!  The music, the aesthetics – all spot on.  Bumblebee is a Volkswagen Beetle as we always wanted him to be and reprising his role as the sweet best friend of the central human rather than just bashing up Barricade a lot.

There is very little to fault with this movie.  Oh sure, Blitzwing looked more like Starscream than the live-action Starscream ever did so the ‘changing bots beyond recognition’ concept from the Bayverse movies hadn’t completely disappeared.  It was also confusing to many fans that this was billed as a prequel rather than a reboot, yet it contradicted so much that had come before, such as Bee hitting Earth in 1986 rather than having been around so long he had been battling Nazi’s.

This was a wonderful movie, with a lot of heart and fully deserves it’s place in the Top 3 Transformer movies of all time.

 

Number #2 – Transformers One

Movie Review: Transformers One

It’s ironic that a movie named Transformers One should take the number two spot.  This movie sadly underperformed at the box office, despite glowing reviews by both critics and fans alike.

Fan Screening of Transformers One: Sydney fans reactions

As amazing as it has been to see Transformers in live action movies on the big screen, they really do seem more suited to the animated world.  Especially given this means that the story can take place soely on Cybertron, and for many fans the fact the movie was completely bereft of humans was a major plus!

The movie follows the evolution of Orion Pax and D-16 into Optimus Prime and Megatron respectively.  We see new friendships formed and old ones torn assunder.  We see the class system of Cybertron being enforced, where the cogless are forced to mine while ‘true’ Transformers are afforded more luxury.  We soon learn all this has come about because Sentinel Prime betrayed the Original 13 Primes to the invading Quintessons, in return for them helping him become the preeminent power on Cybertron.  The visuals are fantasic, the new take on the lore interesting, the character development well paced and the battle scenes engaging.  The new voice cast do a great job, with Chris Hemsworth taking over the mantle of Prime from the ageing (yet still beloved) Peter Cullen.

Of course, there are a few letdowns.  The primary letdown is the lack of gravitas given to significant events within the film that should hold higher implications.  How was Sentinel Prime able to kill the Original 13 Primes so easily in combat?  Why would Optimus throw himself in front of a shot which would kill the despot, however after only one short battle permanently banish his best friend and his followers from Iacon to the wilds of Cybertron?  Yeah, ok, Megs dropped him into a ravine, I’d be a bit salty about that too, but it would have been more in keeping with the character for him to offer Megatron another chance and for Megs to shun it, rather than so willingly banish so many bots, that had moments ago helped to liberate Iacon, from the city they just helped save.  This and similar events make the characters seem more two-dimensional than is satisfactory, especially for a 3D film, though still miles ahead of the ‘murderbots’ of the Bayverse.  The characters are far more recognisable than the live action movies too, with some great looking figures hitting the stores.

Surprise package from Hasbro!

Minor quibbles aside we are looking at what was objectively a brilliant return to animated Transformer movies.  Overall this was a fantastic film which deserved to make more bank at the box office than it did.  In fact even some die hard older fans rate it as the best of all the Transformer movies ever made.  However for pure 80’s adrenillen, kick-ass music and a thrilling outer space adventure you simply can’t go past…

 

Number #1 – The Transformers: The Movie

A movie so good I had to recreate it in action-figure form

C’mon, you all knew this was coming.  TF:TM remains the high point for many of a franchise nearly 40 years old.  Yes it was a glorified toy commercial.  Yes it was designed to kill off as many old characters as possible so that Hasbro could flog the new toys.  And yes, it sent many children out of the cinema in tears as they watched their beloved Optimus Prime die.

Toy Review: Kingdom Rodimus Prime

But it did SO MUCH.  And it introduced SO MUCH!  A slew of what is considered quintessential to Transformers got it’s start here.  The Matrix of Leadership, Megatron becoming Galvatron, Junkions, Quintessons, Sharkticons, Optimus dying (to one day be resurrected) and so on.  Hot Rod, Kup, Blurr, Arcee, Ultra Magnus, Cyclonus, Scourge – all these iconic characters got their start here.  Not to mention Unicron, perhaps the biggest big bad to ever exist in pop fiction ever!  Galactus drains the energy from planets, well our bad guy eats planets and swallows moons whole!

Who became Cyclonus? Skywarp, Bombshell or an Insecticon Clone?

Now this isn’t to say the movie isn’t without flaw, there’s plenty.  Two Cyclonus’, a miscoloured Rumble, Snarl appearing and disappearing randomly, characters that die showing up later etc.  And though I loved it as a kid, the adult in me cringes a bit watching them having a dance off on Junkion.  Hasbro was way too brutal with killing off fan favourite characters, though one could argue this is one of the things that makes the movie so memorable – this was a no-holds barred slaugherfest in places which set it apart from many of the other 80’s toy movies.

Toys Review – Studio Series Hot Rod & Scourge

But damn, there is a reason they are STILL selling toys based directly on this movie 37 years later, its just too good!  It had stellar cast of pop culture icons such as Lenoard Nimoy from Star Trek, Eric Idle from Monty Pythons and a song by Weird Al Yankovic, as well as other big name actors such as Orson Wells himself playing Unicron.  It even managed to make Daniel and Wheelie not annoying (if only S3 of the cartoon had managed such a feat).

Toy Review – HasLab Unicron

Space battles, motorcycle chases, Dinobots, Constructicons, a bad guy the size of a fricken world – it’s amazing they could fit all this into such a short movie.  Throw in a soundtrack which is so 80’s it makes you want to run to the nearest music store to buy an electric guitar to learn such tasty licks, and you’ve got a movie that is still beloved nearly 4 decades later.  Yes, The Transformers: The Movie sits at number #1 as the greatest Transformers movie of all time; it had both the touch and the power.  Heck in spots it even dared to be stupid!  And one suspects will retain its throne for many years to come, until Galvatron gives it a hint at any rate.

Video: Kingdom Galvatron Review

 

So how would you rate the 9 Transformers movies from worst to best?  Similar to myself or completely differently? Pop your list in the comments section below!

Transformers Movies: All 8 ranked from Worst to Best!

Feel free to read ahead, but for an updated list with all NINE Transformers movies ranked, please follow the link below:

Transformer Movies – all 9 ranked from Worst to Best!

Rise of The Beasts is now finishing up in theatres, the 7th instalment in the live-action Transformers Movie franchise and the 8th Transformers movie overall.  More than any other part of Transformers, be it the comics or cartoons or toylines, the movies have divided fans.  Many Transformers fans have grown up on the live action movies, or were first attracted to Transformers by it hitting the big screen.  Others have lamented films with more humans than robots, convoluted and contradictory storylines, unrecognisable classic characters and even coined the term ‘Bayverse’ – a derogatory term to refer to this part of the franchise as more concerned with big explosions than any form of storytelling.

But love them or loathe them, most fans who has seen all the movies has in their head their own personal list of ‘best to worst’, judging the films by their own personal criteria.

Ghostbusters Movies: All 5 ranked from Worst to Best!

So here is Big Angry Trev’s own list of the Transformers movies, starting with my least liked and working up to Number 1!

 

Number #8 – The Last Knight

Movie Review – Transformers: The Last Knight

Saw this in the cinema, and have watched the Blu Ray a total of twice, both times at the behest of someone else.  This is a movie that ran for over 2 ½ hours and may have been better received if they had shaved a lot of that runtime off.  Even upon multiple viewings the storyline jumps around too much to coherently follow – first they are hiding out in a junkyard, then they are racing through the streets of London, then they are undersea looking for a tomb and then finally up in the air fighting on broken bits of Cybertron.  Throw in a few human storylines, most of which were superfluous, the appearance of Unicron’s horns which were never properly investigated, and Merlin to boot and you had too much going on to properly sit back and enjoy.

Toys Review – The Last Knight: Steelbane, Cogman & Sqweeks

The movie did have some positives going for it.  The reemergence of Barricade, Welker finally voicing Megatron, Optimus Prime becoming Nemesis Prime and having a smackdown with Bumblebee, finding out what happened to Cybertron after TF3 etc.  Also a few good battle scenes; Crosshairs jumping from the back of a stolen Con flyer, deploying parachutes and blasting enemies will always stick in my head as one of the best visuals of the entire series.

Toy Review – MB-20 Nemesis Prime

But in the end none of this could make up for a French-sounding Hot Rod, Marky-Mark removing his shirt for no reason, Combiners that seemed to flow together instead of actually transforming and a plotline that left you going ‘huh?’.

Toy Review – The Last Knight Infernocus

 

Number #7 – Revenge of The Fallen

If only the movie had been as awesome as the toyline!

I feel part of the reason this movie is so disliked by much of the Fandom is that it seemed such a letdown after the relatively well received first movie, and many feared such a sequel would put an end to the live action Transformer flicks altogether.  Bay blamed much of the movies faults on the writers strike.  Since another strike is currently occuring lets hope it doesn’t adversely affect next years animated Transformers One movie

This was a movie made for 13 year old boys.  Considering its Transformers perhaps that should not be too surprising.  The crass humour was dialled up big time and for me (as someone who has avoided even learning about Kiss Players) the most cringeworthy thing to ever happen in all of Transformers was watching Wheelie hump Mikalya’s leg. Devastator having testicles, dogs humping other dogs, a fleshy tongue on the end of a metal tendril trying to lick Sam, a sidekick in his underwear demanding toilet paper, a stoned mother and Jetfire farting a parachute – the childish humour seemed to never end.  Add to this… urgh… the Twins, the most racially insensitive thing in Transformers since Carbombiya, and this movie felt like it was written by Beavis & Butthead after they discovered pot.

Toy Review – Studio Series Scrapper

Like TLK, this movie still had some good points.  The introduction of The Matrix, the Original Primes, The Fallen and the Pretender concept were welcome parts of Transformers lore to be included into the live action universe.  Soundwave becoming a Communications Satellite was a clever idea and him ejecting Ravage in order to infiltrate an installation was very cool.  This is also where Soundwave got his tendrils, a concept carried over into TF3, Prime and RID15.  The way Devestator combined was dramatically done, even if he subsequently only smashed bricks and sucked sand.  Despite only being a byproduct of the movie, it is also worth noting that ROTF brought us one of the best and most  expansive toylines of the live action franchise, indeed Bludgeon who wasn’t even in the movie receiving the best toy he has ever had!

Toy Review – Studio Series: Scrapmetal

But once again despite all the positives, too many negatives were contained in this film to overlook, and thus Revenge of the Fallen comes second last in the Transformers list of fav movies.

 

Number #6 – Age of Extinction

Grimlock on the big screen baby!

The previous two movies are widely regarded as the worst of the Transformer flicks so I doubt them coming in at numbers 7 & 8 will raise many eyebrows.  Likewise I doubt this movie will cause a lot of contention by not being #1.  Age of Extinction had a lot going for it, a new human cast (Shiah LeBouf having taken to wearing a paper bag on his head by this point), new robots whilst still retaining a few fan faves that survived the slaughter of DOTM, an interesting plotline and a cool bad guy.  Yes, Lockdown (imported from the Animated universe) made a refreshing change; a bounty hunter not involved in the Autobot/Decepticon conflict who could turn his face into a sniper cannon.  The Autobots on the run, hiding out from being hunted down by the government was also a nice change of pace from being teamed up with Lennox and his crew.  Throw in a few Dinobots, an evil Fraiser and the old trope of Megatron being reborn as Galvatron and you’ve got a winner right?

Toy Review – Nemesis Grimlock

Well… sorta.  In a franchise that often let its movies run too long in order to fit in as many Michael Bay explosions as possible, this one was the longest coming in at a whopping 165 minutes!  Even if you are enjoying yourself, that’s too damn long!  By the time Lockdown’s ship was using its gravity weapon to suck up boats and building, simply to dump them down again, your average viewer was exhausted.  Like TLK, it may have been better received if it had cut at least half an hour of superfluous material.  The Dinobots were very cool, but seemed to be more monsters than Dino’s, whilst Hound had transformed from a nature lover to a rotund, gun-toting drill sergeant.  The whole storyline of Tessa Yeager was just fricken creepy!  All the skimpy outfits and sexual innuendos attached to a 17 year old girl dating a 20 year old was just…. bleegh!  Don’t get me wrong, I like looking at pretty girls on a big screen as much as the next guy, but this just made you feel gross, especially that ‘Romeo & Juliet Law’ thing.  The Lucas Flannery character stating ‘There goes a couple of dune bugs’ while he leers at other underage girls paled in comparison and that’s saying something.  The other negative for die hard fans was Transformium (not to be confused with the fantastic Transformatorium) – we want to see robots cleverly turn into vehicles and back – turning into a bunch of pixels is just cheating.

This was a movie that had more positives than negatives, yet one cant help think that if Cade was bereft of children this movie would have been shorter and less creepy on the whole.

 

Number #5 – Dark of the Moon

Optimus, save me from another movie like ROTF!

Okey Dokey, now we are getting to the better stuff!  DOTM (in my opinion, remember – these are just my opinions.  But because they are mine they are fantastic!) brought Transformers back from the depths that ROTF sent it tumbling into, giving us an action-packed and interesting movie full of battling bots destroying everything in their path.  No street fight with a dozen bots, no skirmish out in the desert in Qatar – this flick gave us huge battles where Chicago got ripped to shreds as the Bots and Cons went head to head!  This movie had a coherent storyline that seemed to stay on track and kept the plot moving forward at a good pace. It was not frantic enough you lost the plot, nor slow enough you got bored.  The humans were at least tolerable (for the most part) though that toilet scene was plain weird and Sam’s mother had gone from amusing to disturbing.  Optimus having his trailer, the appearance of The Wreckers, buildings toppling over from some giant driller thingie – all pro’s.  With the addition of  Laserbeak becoming a pink version of Bee so he could kill some kids Dad and you’ve got yourself a bonifide action movie boys and girls!

Was the movie perfect?  Oh my no, hence why it sits at No #5.  Sam’s as big a loony as ever, jumping around with a Con-watch attached to his wrist.  The Autobots are far more brutal than the Decepticons, examples being the Wreckers ripping an enemy limb from limb and Optimus killing both Megs AND Sentinel at the end of the movie, even as the latter asked for mercy.  Shockwave is grossly under-utilized for such a major character, and lets all thank the powers that be that they decided to make Wheeljack named Que instead, because he looked like Einstein got reanimated as a robotic skeleton.

Quibbles aside, this was a pretty good movie and if nothing else, acted like TF:TM by killing off a lot of the old bots so we could enjoy some new ones the next time round.

 

Number #4 – Transformers

Off to finally see some live-action Transformers!

Now, to clarify, I actually like DOTM more than the 2007 Transformers movie.  But credit where credit is due, this is the flick that brought the franchise into the world of live-action movies and was successful enough those movies are still being made 16 years later, so ya gotta give it some props.

Yes, this was the movie that had some sections of the fandom crying ‘Michael Bay raped my childhood’ – and what a stupid platitude that was.  You still see social media groups today that have vowed after the first live-action movie to never watch another one, or have deemed anything not purely G1 as an abomination.  To these people I say: once you’ve closed yourself off to anything new, then stagnate you will, and so will the franchise you apparently love so much.

For me nothing will ever quite match the magic I felt as I watched Blackout transform for the first time.  And as for Optimus transforming from Truck to Robot – I had to put a hand over my mouth and stifle a little sob of joy.  It may not have been G1 but here was the Transformers finally done in live-action, and they weren’t f’ing it up!

Oh the Geewunner in me decried a lot of the movies aesthetics.  Megatron and Starscream were as ugly as sin, Ironhide and Ratchet were the wrong colours and so on.  And that’s when they were actually on screen – for a lot of this movie you sat there wondering ‘When are the robots going to come back?’  For a movie called Transformers, they certainly seemed to take a back seat a lot of the time.

The humans?  Well besides taking up too much screen time they weren’t too bad.  Sam hadn’t gone insane yet and neither had his mother, her short performances being the comedic highlights of the film.  Mikayla was quite a strong character for someone who the male audience was supposed to primarily drool over, and Lennox and his team did their best to not be simple jarheads, actually adding to the plot nicely.

So yes, this movie had a lot of faults, but for bringing Transformers into the mainstream and giving the franchise a gigantic shot in the arm which it still benefits from today, Transformers 2007 comes in at Number #4 for me.

 

Number #3 – Bumblebee

Movie Review – Bumblebee

This is the movie that so many die hard fans wish that Transformers 2007 had been.  First we are treated to a scene with all the bots battling on Cybertron, and they look like themselves again!  No weird colour schemes, no faces and bodies so mashed and distorted that once they move you cant tell what part of a bot you are looking at, all those aesthetic quibbles gone.  Cybertron looks like Cybertron again too, its not some Hexagonal mesh covered in bots that are the same colour as its surface and it’s not in bits and pieces flying over the Earth either.  It was all so beautiful it could bring a tear to the hardest Geewuners optic sensor.

Of course this did not last long and off to Earth they went, but not many of them.  Yes, by only having Bumblebee, Shatter and Dropkick on Earth you got to see their characters actually develop, interact with humans, interact with each other – you know, actually act like characters in a movie instead of murderbots.

Charlie Watson remains to this day the most likeable human out of the entire movie franchise.  You empathise with her woes and you celebrate her victories.  She’s not going nuts, or trying to shag someone, or being overly heroic or sexualised or insane.  You hate Tina Lark and laugh when Bumblebee smashes up her car, you root for Memo as he tries to step up to be a hero despite being scared shitless, and manages to show his romantic interest for Charlie without being sleazy.

And how much 80’s nostalgia could they pack in eh!  The music, the aesthetics – all spot on.  Bumblebee is a Volkswagen Beetle as we always wanted him to be and reprising his role as the sweet best friend of the central human rather than just bashing up Barricade a lot.

There is very little to fault with this movie.  Oh sure, Blitzwing looked more like Starscream than the live-action Starscream ever did so the ‘changing bots beyond recognition’ concept from the Bayverse movies hadn’t completely disappeared.  It was also confusing to many fans that this was billed as a prequel rather than a reboot, yet it contradicted so much that had come before, such as Bee hitting Earth in 1986 rather than having been around so long he had been battling Nazi’s.

This was a wonderful movie, with a lot of heart and fully deserves it’s place in the Top 3 Transformer movies of all time.

 

Number #2 – Rise of the Beasts

Movie Review – Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

Yes, I have to give it to the latest instalment of the franchise, Rise of the Beasts has been the best live-action movie so far.  With far less humans and far more Bots, new factions and – gasp – Unicron himself, we get a fantastic movie with Transformers banding together to save the world itself!

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts – Special Preview Screening Event!

I love Bumblebee, I do.  He’s a great character and my son’s favourite.  However many of us were suffering from Bumblebee overload.  Every movie, every cartoon, every toyline, everything from 2007 onwards he has been front and centre.  And sure, it makes sense as he’s the posterbot for the franchise now.  But enough was enough, so I was very happy to see Mirage step up to take his place and Bee to be sidelined for much of the adventure.

Video: Interviews at Transformers Rise of the Beasts Preview Screening

Was this the Mirage of old.  Well, no.  In fact when you first see his altmode you think ‘Jazz is back!’ It’s rather odd how much they made his vehicle look like Jazz, though they did give a holographic shout out to his old mode.  His invisibility is gone, but his holographic powers from the original tech specs and the Netflicks cartoon are in evidence.  For me he was a tad too cheery, a tad too immature and he was able to swap altmodes far too easy – he can have the bulk of a garbage truck but be as small as an exosuit?  Transforming seems less special when you make it almost limitless.

Optimus is sounding old and weary.  And who can blame him, Cullen is 82 now!  The poor old bloke will be on his deathbed and still have a boom hanging over his head so he can voice Prime.  One wonders if they cast Prime in the ‘concerned weary leader’ role just to take into account the voice actors age.  That said, he still rocks it as he always does and he is respected and loved by beast and bot alike.

Transformers Beasts Base Camp

Scourge makes a passable bad guy, an amalgamation of his G1 and RID(01) incarnations, being a black truck with his Sweep minions (looking like Frenzy’s cousins).  Battletrap is awesome in the battle scenes with those chains of his, it’s only Nightbird that doesn’t add much to the trio.  The Maximals Optimus Primal and Airazor get a lot of dialogue and screentime, though fan favourites Cheetor & Rhinox do little indeed.  Arcee seems a good mix, looking similar in bot mode to the Bumblebee movie and similar in altmode to her ROTF incarnationIts just Wheeljack that got fans annoyed, and it turned out there was a lot of noise over a character that barely appeared.  And like many fans, I’m remaining hopeful of a Stratosphere action figure.

The ROTB Wheeljack Controversy

And perhaps this is why this movie ranks for me as the highest of the live-action movies – I can spend all this time taking about the robot characters.  Yes, they were finally characters with dialogue and weren’t one-dimensional killing machines, a precedent set in the Bumblebee movie that was thankfully followed on.

Toy Review – Studio Series Airazor

There were a couple of humans too of course, and it was nice to see there wasn’t a romantic/sexual story between them, a refreshing change.  They weren’t annoying either.  And whilst they got a lot of screen time, perhaps for the first time since the 80’s the robots were truly the stars of a Transformers movie.

And speaking of the 80’s, that leads us to…

 

Number #1 – The Transformers: The Movie

A movie so good I had to recreate it in action-figure form

C’mon, you all knew this was coming.  TF:TM remains the high point for many of a franchise nearly 40 years old.  Yes it was a glorified toy commercial.  Yes it was designed to kill off as many old characters as possible so that Hasbro could flog the new toys.  And yes, it sent many children out of the cinema in tears as they watched their beloved Optimus Prime die.

Toy Review: Kingdom Rodimus Prime

But it did SO MUCH.  And it introduced SO MUCH!  A slew of what is considered quintessential to Transformers got it’s start here.  The Matrix of Leadership, Megatron becoming Galvatron, Junkions, Quintessons, Sharkticons, Optimus dying (to one day be resurrected) and so on.  Hot Rod, Kup, Blurr, Arcee, Ultra Magnus, Cyclonus, Scourge – all these iconic characters got their start here.  Not to mention Unicron, perhaps the biggest big bad to ever exist in pop fiction ever!  Galactus drains the energy from planets, well our bad guy eats planets and swallows moons whole!

Who became Cyclonus? Skywarp, Bombshell or an Insecticon Clone?

Now this isn’t to say the movie isn’t without flaw, there’s plenty.  Two Cyclonus’, a miscoloured Rumble, Snarl appearing and disappearing randomly, characters that die showing up later etc.  And though I loved it as a kid, the adult in me cringes a bit watching them having a dance off on Junkion.  Hasbro was way too brutal with killing off fan favourite characters, though one could argue this is one of the things that makes the movie so memorable – this was a no-holds barred slaugherfest in places which set it apart from many of the other 80’s toy movies.

Toys Review – Studio Series Hot Rod & Scourge

But damn, there is a reason they are STILL selling toys based directly on this movie 37 years later, its just too good!  It had stellar cast of pop culture icons such as Lenoard Nimoy from Star Trek, Eric Idle from Monty Pythons and a song by Weird Al Yankovic, as well as other big name actors such as Orson Wells himself playing Unicron.  It even managed to make Daniel and Wheelie not annoying (if only S3 of the cartoon had managed such a feat).

Toy Review – HasLab Unicron

Space battles, motorcycle chases, Dinobots, Constructicons, a bad guy the size of a fricken world – it’s amazing they could fit all this into such a short movie.  Throw in a soundtrack which is so 80’s it makes you want to run to the nearest music store to buy an electric guitar to learn such tasty licks, and you’ve got a movie that is still beloved nearly 4 decades later.  Yes, The Transformers: The Movie sits at number #1 as the greatest Transformers movie of all time; it had both the touch and the power.  Heck in spots it even dared to be stupid!  And one suspects will retain its throne for many years to come, until Galvatron gives it a hint at any rate.

Video: Kingdom Galvatron Review

 

So how would you rate the 8 Transformers movies from worst to best?  Similar to myself or completely differently? Pop your list in the comments section below!

Ask Trev – Your worst figure, why should I still buy it?

This question comes from Steve in Campbelltown:

‘What is the worst figure in your collection and why should we all own it?’

First off I’m taking a stab in the dark that Steve is talking about Transformers since that is what I am best known for collecting.  Well Steve, given I’m at the 4500 mark for the amount of Transformer action figures I own, there are a fair few contenders for the mantle of Worst.  So lets narrow it down to Transformer figures that actually transform and go from there:

 

Equal 3rd Worst

Generation One Crankcase & Scoop

Podscussion: Bad Toys you Still Love

Why are they bad?

Firstly – both these toys have irritatingly simple transformations, even for G1 toys – one move for the legs, one move for the arms and one move for the body/backpack.

Secondly – awful heads!  Scoop’s is ridiculously small, making him look like a little yellow guy wearing a huge orange sumo suit, whereas Crancase has just an orange blob for a face, making you squint to make out any detail whatsoever.

Thirdly – bad bodies.  Neither of these toys have any articulation to speak of.  Scoop’s chest sticks out so far his little hands barely reach past it, and those hands don’t even have peg holes to hold his Targetmaster partners.  Lots of Transformer toys have decent sized backpacks, but I’d struggle to think of any that have a proportionately bigger one than Crankcase which towers over the back of him to a ludicrous degree.  And while Scoop as a Targetmaster can’t hold guns, neither can Crankcase who is a Triggercon.  What’s the point of being a gun-themed robot if you can’t even hold a simple blaster?!  As for having legs that actually separate, forget about it.

‘We aint got no thumbs Luitenant Dan!’

Why you should own them?

Both toys have really nice altmodes for their time, with Scoop being a front-end loader that can actually move his scoop, and Crankcase being perhaps the only Decepticon toy of 1988 that had an altmode disguise that could actually work as a disguise, rather than being a huge monster or a neon-coloured vehicle.  The Targetmaster and Trigger gimmicks are good fun and they both had interesting roles in the IDW comics.  Plus who doesn’t love some G1-goodness 😉

 

2nd Worst

Steelbane – The Last Knight

Toys Review – The Last Knight: Steelbane, Cogman & Sqweeks

Why is he bad?

Firstly – loose ball joints.  The joints in his shoulders and legs are atrociously loose, making him very hard to pose in robot mode, he is fiddly as hell to try and get to stand in any decent pose without his sword drooping towards the floor.

SecondlyWorst. Dragon-mode. Ever. His dragon mode is absolute shite!  Looks absolutely awful, like someone was building a robot alpaca and lost the instructions half way through.  There have been a lot of great dragon Transformers over the years and they do not invite Steelbane to their parties.

Why you should own him?

Probably the coolest ‘knight’ looking Transformer toy ever in his robot mode with lots of detail, even on the sword.  There were four Knight toys from The Last Knight film and he is the best looking of the lot, with the others compromised by either missing faces or their combiner gimmick.  Even if you were not a fan of the film, having a Transformer who looks like he should have been kickin it with Arthur & Merlin is pretty boss.

Movie Review – Transformers: The Last Knight

 

Winner of the Worst

Rescue Bots Quickshadow

Toy Review – Rescue Bots Quickshadow

Why is she bad?

Firstly – terrible proportions in both modes.  Even being a Rescue Bot which is a line known for its more basic toys due to the age demographic they are made for, the vehicle mode is too snub-nosed and the robot mode doesn’t even remotely resemble the cartoon.  And what’s with the big goggles – she looks like she is going scuba-diving while flying a WWI plane!

Secondly – the broken transformation spring.  This was a toy made for tiny kids and with one transformation movement. It is unbelievable that there was so little quality control that she got released when the spring that allows the transformation was broken in 95% of the figures.  Any child given this figure would have been supremely disappointed and their parents feeling ripped off.

Your Quickshadow toy is going to spend more time looking like this than a robot or car

Why you should own her?

Errr… that’s a toughie.  There really isn’t anything to recommend the figure at all.  At most I would say that she was the first female Rescue Bot which gives the toy some novelty value, and that her on-screen character was very cool.  Coming across as a very chilled and aloof British Secret-Agent type gave her a personality we have not seen in Transformers before or since, it’s a shame she didn’t get more airtime than she did.

Rescue Bots Toys Gallery

 

So there you go Steve, your question answered 😊

Transformer Fan Interview – Steve

Got any transforming Transformer toys that you think are worse than these?  Why not mention them in the comments section below!

Scalpers: A-Holes of the Collectors World

Scalpers – the bane of collectors everywhere.

Nasty little parasites who eagerly buy up all the figures they can and then flog them for twice the price.  Evil pricks without an empathy or remorse.

No, I don’t like scalpers – no sir!

Now I want to make a distinction here.  I don’t consider scalpers people who sell rare old toys for a lot of money.  Yes sometimes the prices they ask are ludicrous, but there is no rule saying you have to buy what they are selling.  You need food.  You need water.  You need sleep and shelter.  You don’t need action figures.

So if someone has an old toy from the 80’s that they are selling for 10 times what it originally cost, I don’t consider that scalping.  The toy is not available anywhere else, it’s been maintained for 30 years, chances are there is someone out there that is willing to pay the larger amount and be happy with getting a long sought figure.  That’s fine, no problem

No, what I consider a scalper is some unscrupulous sod that goes from store to store (and even online) when a new figure is released, buys every single one, then is selling them on eBay half an hour later for twice the price or more.  In those cases you are a scalper sod.  A prick of the highest level!  Because you are stealing the opportunity for others to buy the item fair and square and then making them come to you to buy it at an inflated cost.

 

As a Transformer Collector, I have seen 3 major incidents of scalping over the last 6 years:

 

  1. 2013 – Hasbro Masterpiece Soundwave

Everyone was so excited for this figure!  An MP Soundwave with 5 cassette warriors included! Personally I got on the American Toys’R’Us website the moment it was listed and refreshed the page for an hour until I finally got one in my basket.  Only then to be thwarted at the checkout with ‘This item does NOT ship internationally’.  Would have been nice for them to have that on the product listing.  No wonder the company went out of business.

Half an hour later the item was completely sold out.  And surprise surprise, within the hour those Soundwave’s were being listed on eBay for twice the price. Usually with the disclaimer ‘shipping will be delayed two weeks’ because these pricks didn’t even have the figure themselves yet!

The same thing happened in the US when Soundwave hit the physical TRU stores.  People were walking in the moment the doors opened, taking every single MP Soundwave off the shelves and then going through the checkout.  So if you came in at 10am – too bad!  You want that toy now?  You have to go online and pay the bastard that came in at 9 twice the price!

 

  1. 2015 – Combiner Wars Devastator
Picture provided by fans still annoyed years later

Rather famously here in Aus, there were several people (and I use the term loosely) in particular that went from store to store in Capital Cities and bought every single one!  Once again, those figures were then listed online for twice the price within a day.  The outrage on the Aussie TF chat forums was palpable.  But to show the lack of ethics and empathy inherent within your average scalper, one seller even went online showing a photo of himself with a stack of Devastator’s and thanked the irate members of the Ozformers site for all the free publicity.

 

  1. 2018 – Heavily Discounted TLK Figures.
What the items cost in stores…

This has just happened within the last week here in Australia.  Big W had a sale where a large range of figures from The Last Knight were being sold in stores at incredible discounts.  Most notably Voyager class figures were going for $5!  So many TF fans were rushing to stores to pick up figures they had previously been unable to afford, only to find the shelves empty. Why?  Because the F’ing scalpers had bought them all and stuck them on eBay – that’s why!

…what the toys cost a few days later. Only a bit over 15 times the price!

 

So why do scalpers annoy me in particular?

This last incident, despite affecting my collecting the least, has annoyed me the most.  I was lucky enough that a friend in the US was able to find a lone MP Soundwave sitting in a TRU for me, and likewise my mother-in-law was able to find a CW Devastator in Bathurst by asking the staff who luckily still had two sitting in their storeroom, the shelves themselves now bare.  I missed out on the TLK figures last week but, for myself, I don’t really mind.  I would have liked to pick some up at that price but it’s not like they were figures I felt I had to have.

No, what annoyed me about this last incident is it was robbing struggling families of the opportunity to buy a big toy at a cheap price at Xmas time.  There are a lot of families doing it tough and can barely afford to eat, let alone get their kids a decent present.  Especially out here in rural NSW where we are still in the midst of a shocking drought.

Transformers aren’t the cheapest of toys, and there are lots of little boys and girls who will never own one because their parents can’t afford it.  Some of these kids wonder, when they have been good all year, why Santa won’t even bring them a little robot, whilst the kid up the road who habitually beats them up gets a PS4 under their tree.  For those kids and their parents, the opportunity to buy a $50 Optimus Prime for only $5 would have been a godsend at Xmas!  But nope, the scalpers had to go and buy them all up first and now eBay is awash with them.  Bastards!

 

So scalpers out there, I say this to you: You are scum.  You are filth.  You have no kindness or empathy in your hearts.  I may not believe in God but I do believe in karma and I hope you never sell a single figure.  I hope that under your Xmas tree this year you find naught for yourself as you don’t deserve a gift.  And I hope most of all that maybe you meet one of these struggling families one day and you have to stare into the face of those whose opportunity to give their kid a happy Christmas you stole.  Maybe that might make you finally have some self-reflection.  Because right now you are not a part of humanity, you are simply a leech that feeds of it.

 

Got something to add? Pop it in the comments section below!

 

Related Articles:

Hard Times for Aussie Collectors

 

Toy Review – MB-20 Nemesis Prime

Over the 5 live-action Transformer movies we’ve had our share of traditional bad guys (Megatron, Galvatron etc) as well as a Prime gone bad with Sentinel Prime in DOTM.  In The Last Knight we get to see a Prime go bad again with Optimus siding with Quintessa as Nemesis Prime.

Like a lot of the characters from TLK, Nemesis Prime hasn’t gotten a general toy release, putting him alongside many of the other on-screen robots we have been screaming for a figure of.  Luckily Takara Tomy has come to the rescue with MB-20 Nemesis Prime.

Nemesis Prime is a redeco of the TT exclusive Calibur Prime which itself was an extensive (and much needed) retool of Armor Knight Optimus Prime.  He comes in a gorgeous box – I was so impressed when I received this in the mail I nearly decided to leave him MISB, but the desire to play was too much!

 

Truck Mode

Essentially unchanged from the past two incarnations.  However in deference to the fact he is a darker character as Nemesis rather than Optimus, the paint job had been made more subdued with the red and blue being darker hues.  I think this actually works to make the chrome to be found on various parts of the truck pop more.  It’s a lovely looking truck, being a big solid size with excellent dimensions.

 

Robot Mode

Whereas AK Optimus had a big, ungainly backpack, Calibur Prime had this convert into a huge shield which was a massive improvement.  This has been carried over for Nemesis Prime, where the main change from Calibur is again the colour scheme with the reds and blues more subdued and the axe and shield have been given a purple tinge instead of orange.  Speaking of purple, the eyes are now purple like in the movie, and in certain lights they look absolutely fantastic!  Once again, we are looking at good proportions on the toy and it’s an excellent representation of the onscreen character.

 

The Head

As well as the new purple eyes, Optimus Nemesis is sporting the big red streak on his face to show his allegiance to Quintessa.  Both versions of the face (which can be rotated for either mask or non-mask) have this.  I thought maybe it would have been good for one version to not have the streak so you could show him changing from Optimus to Nemesis and back, but it’s a minor quibble.

 

Transformation

It’s at the level I quite like, as in its far more complicated than a couple of quick movements, but you don’t have to take 20 minutes out of your day to get it done.  The only thing I found was the head, the instructions assumed you had played with previous versions of the toy so did not say that you had to press the chest to make his bonce pop up – I had to look it up online. The back of the truck turning into the shield is very well done.

 

Overall

There have been very few official Quintesson-aligned toys over the years, far too few.  So when the likes of Infernocus and Nemesis Prime came up for grabs I was all over it!  It you have the previous versions of this toy mould you probably don’t need Nemesis, but if this is your first time encountering it or you want a representation of the on screen character, then I heartily recommend giving MB-20 Nemesis Prime a go.

 

Got something to say about this figure?  Would love to read it in the comments section below!

 

Related Articles:

Toy Review: TLK Infernocus

Toy Review: TLK Steelbane, Cogman & Sqweeks

Movie Review: Transformers: The Last Knight

Toy Review – The Last Knight Infernocus

The Quintessons have been a part of Transformers lore since the much-beloved 1986 animated movie.  They went on to feature heavily in season 3 of the G1 cartoon as well as make appearances in the Marvel, Dreamwave and IDW comics.  In non-print media the only outings we have seen for these multi-tentacled menaces have been the character Alpha Q in the Energon cartoon and a passing reference by Swindle in the Animated cartoon.  Therefore I was very happy to see them crop up in the live-action movie series.

I may be small but I tote a big gestalt!

In the 2017 movie The Last Knight, we are introduced to one of the Transformers creators – Quintessa, who has herself a big beefy enforcer named Infernocus.  Later in the movie we see that Infernocus is actually a combiner – made up of 6 identical Infernicons.  Thankfully, unlike many characters, Infernocus has been blessed with an actual toy so today we will be looking at the The Last Knight Infernocus figure.

Unlike the movie, where there are six identical Infernicons that make up this gestalt, the toy is made up by five different figures.  Four of these are recolours of toys from the Beast Hunters Terrorcon Predacon team that make up Abominus.  Each of these figures has remained essentially the same, except for a uniform black & red paintjob and the removal of their individual weapons.

Rupture

Thrash

Gorge

Glug

These reworked figures serve reasonably well in their new roles as Infernicons, though with the exception of their colour schemes they do not particularly resemble their counterparts from the live action movie. However an added bonus to them is that unlike the movie they actually have alt-modes – monstrous beasts that adds a lot of extra play value to the set.

 

Skulk

The torso component character from the Terrorcon Predacon set – Hun-Gurrr – has been replaced by a brand new figure  Skulk.  Unlike the limb component characters, Skulk does not have an alt-mode.  This is in my opinion is forgivable.  Hun-Gurrr, the previous torso character of the set, was the same size as the limb characters which made Abominus look rather silly.  Skulk is over twice the size of Hun-Gurrr and adds much needed bulk to the set, making their combined form of Infernocus approximate in size to Voyager-class figures.  On his own Skulk looks pretty cool and works quite well as a representation of Infernocus on his own when put alongside smaller figures, especially his master – Quintessa.

 

Quintessa

Quintessa herself is a very small translucent figure and is the only toy representation of this major character from the live action movie.  She has nice little details but when I ordered this set I didn’t realise quite how small she was.  Make sure you put her somewhere safe as the potential to lose her is extreme!

 

Transformation

The  individual figures are relatively simplistic.  Combining the Infernicons into Infernocus is quite fiddly.  Due to the colour schemes of all 5 figures being so uniform black it can be hard to ascertain which piece you are putting where.  Also the set does not lend itself to the relatively simplistic combinations from sets like from Combiner Wars such as Computron and Sky Reign.  Don’t get me wrong – you wont have an aneurism of frustration here but at the same time it can be fiddly.

 

Overall

This is actually quite a nice figure and I am very pleased with it.  Unlike the Terrorcon Predacon combiner from Beast Hunters I will be keeping Infernocus in his combined mode.  Given the sparsity of official Quintesson-affiliated figures from the toyline over the past 31 years I’m very glad to add him to my collection.

 

Related Articles

Toys Review: Steelbane, Cogman & Squeeks

Movie Review: Transformers – The Last Knight

 

Toys Review – The Last Knight: Steelbane, Cogman & Sqweeks

When the first live action Transformers movie was released a decade ago, I went a bit nuts when the toys were first released.  The first day I saw them I horrified my girlfriend by coming home with two full garbage bags of action figures and a $700 dent in my bank account.

Now here we are at movie five and restraint is much easier.  For the first time I am not buying a toy of every character that was in the movie.  Who needs yet another Bbee camero?  So I’m buying toys only of new characters that showed up in the flick, saving me both cash and shelf space.

Thankfully I was able to put restraint on hold the other day when I finally came across some of these new characters in toy form.  So lets take a look at three new Autobots to grace the silver screen and subsequently get turned into toy-candy – Steelbane, Cogman and Sqweeks.

 

Steelbane

Dig those shoulders man!

Robot Mode

Have at ye!

Steelbane was one of those generic Knights of Cybertron to show up in the flick, and you would be hard pressed to single him out when watching the movie.  I will say I am quite impressed with the look of Steelbane in robot mode – perhaps the most knight-esque Transformer I’ve ever seen!  Really looks like he should be guarding a tomb for centuries and then coming to life to scare the shit out of Lara Croft.  However the look of this toy is the best thing about him.  The shoulder and leg balljoints are very loose, making him very hard to pose.  This is made up for somewhat by the fact he has tight neck and elbow joints so you can at least give him the odd cool pose.  Comes with a sword with lots of little detail on it and the wings folded behind serve to give him a look as though he is wearing a chainmail cape.  So visually he looks great, playwise he is a bit of a letdown.

En’Guarde!

Dragon Mode

This is what happens when your alpaca mates with a raven and a washing machine

Frankly pretty crap.  The loose balljoints make him even harder to pose in beast mode than robot mode.  The chest does not sit flush with the main body and while I appreciate the little detail of the red tongue, it actually detracts from the dragons head when you open the mouth wider.  I found the transformation to beast mode quite fiddly as well; his secondary mode is so ill defined and the instructions were not particularly useful.  I ended up just looking at the back of the box and fiddling with the figure until he represented that pic.

 

Cogman

Robot Mode

Sushi-chopper not included

Typical – we finally get a Transformer in one of the movies who gets a lot of lines and screen time and he never even transforms!  Well thankfully they released some toys of him that do.  There is a fantastic looking one with a headmaster gimmick, however since he never did it in the film I went the cheaper 1-step option.  I don’t usually like 1-step changers, I find them very overpriced for the simplistic figure you get.  However since I don’t want to spend a fortune importing a transforming Cogman I was happy enough to get this representation of him.  They did the colour scheme and in particular the head quite well and he doesn’t look too bad at all.  Just a shame that he has no knees and his legs are so chunky.

Vehicle Mode

‘I have an alt-mode!’

Cogman transforms into an Aston Martin DB11, which he did get behind the wheel of in the movie if memory serves.  He achieves this in toy mode by a simple twist of the legs.  A nice little car, though a better paintjob wouldn’t have hurt.

 

Sqweeks

‘Guess what noise I make’

Robot Mode

‘They took ma hands!’

This little guy was supposed to be the ultra-cute new bot of Transformers 5.  But R2-D2 he aint and he never really captured our hearts.  However if there is to be a movie toy that will garner your affection – it’ll be this little guy!  While his robot mode initially looks as lackluster as the character did onscreen (though I do did all the rust in his paintjob) , it’s all his little mods that make the toy.

He has several options, he can use his little cargo trailer from his alt-mode (which we will come to momentarily) to have a sort of rocket backpack, or you can remove his little handlebar hands to affix a big arm and the huge cannon he wielded in one of the final movie fight scenes.

‘BEEFCAKE!’

Vehicle Mode

Not a bad looking scooter.  Well, it is a bad looking scooter I guess but it’s supposed to be so on that level it really works.  The transformation to scooter is fairly straight forward but I find it helps to cheat a little and remove his handlebar hands and his head.  This detracts nothing from his alt-mode and saves potential scratches to your toy by jamming everything in.

His cargo-trailer really makes the toy!  It can be attached to the back which adds a lot of bulk to the toy, and then altered into a battle mode replete with cannons and guns enough to freak out the strongest Con.  It also transforms into one of the coolest little maintenance bays I’ve seen this side of G1 Optims, with a toolbox to store spare parts and a very maneuverable robotic arm.  Very cool indeed!

 

Overall

They never really seem to hit their stride with the movie toys do they?  Many of the ROTF figures were fantastic but since then we’ve had DOTM which had toys too complicated and AoE whose toys were too simple.  So far none of the TLK figures are massively impressive.  So unless you really want representations of the new movieverse characters both Steelbane and Cogman are both easy passes.  However do yourself a favour and go pick up a Sqweeks.  It’s a really cool toy with lots of play value and by far one of the most enjoyable movie figures I have played with.  Small on screen but big on fun!

Got something to add to the review above?  Would love to read it in the comments section below!

 

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