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Tag Archives: Meat
Burgers Review #2: – The TRADIE, The TRUCKIE & The MALLEE BOMB!
As a rule if a dish has a manly name like ‘Tradie’, ‘Truckie’ or ‘Bomb’ then it’s going to be something yours truly is going to want to shove in his gob! Why? Well besides desperately trying to hide ones insecurities from the world by appearing macho and gruff on the outside, hiding the wobbly, gelatin-like persona within, it usually means there is going to be lots of MEAT!
On a recent state-crossing trip I had occasion to drop in to three different cafe’s which had foodstuffs like those described above on their menu. So lets examine them and see if they were worth this weary traveller’s mastication.
The TRADIE Burger
Location: Gray St Café, Swan Hill, VIC
Despite the blokey name this came across as a pretty standard, average burger. Cheese, lettuce, egg, bacon, tomato, sauce – the patty was sausage mince with carrot throughout which was kinda different. No onion which was a shame. It was nice that they will change the fillings based on your predilections (I went with two friends; one didn’t want bacon, another didn’t want egg, I didn’t want tomato) but it all came across as something that you could buy most anywhere. If these burgers were boobs they would be B-cups – certainly enough there to sate your appetite, but leaving you wishing there had been more to them. Not really recommended.
The TRUCKIE Burger
Location: Balfours Cafe, Birkenhead, SA
Now we are talking more of a burger! The usual lettuce, tomato, sauce, onion, egg etc but then double meat, double cheese and double bacon! And by Primus the amount of bacon – they easily could have referred to it as quadruple bacon! The amount of oil dripping off this burger was a bit disturbing, the wrapper felt like I could use it to grease myself up and then toboggan on my gut down the nearest freeway. But you know what, after eating what felt like half a pigs worth of crispy goodness I was feeling sexy enough to try! Happily recommended.
The MALLEE BOMB!
Location: Cobb & Co Café, Murrayville, VIC/SA border
I ordered this thinking it was a lamb burger, but when it arrived it turned out to be some sort of weird dissected souvlaki. Chips covered with Mallee Lamb, with cheese, fried onion and garlic sauce drizzled all over the thing! Chuck a few bits of pita bread on top and yeah, it looks like a souvlaki had a bomb implanted in it which subsequently burst on your plate, leaving it’s yummy innards splayed upon the ceramic battlefield. I will say that they were not mucking about when they said they were using Mallee Lamb – this was really top quality meat! Very tender and succulent indeed, you will walk away from the table feeling fit to burst – the sign of a damn fine meal! Highly recommended!
Meat Review – The Kings Hotel in Bathurst
There are two things I look for in my meat when I go out to dinner – quality and quantity. Ya gots to have both! Nothing more irritating then paying a fortune for a meal and it comes out in portions that a dwarf would look at and say “Thats lousy!“. Also irritating is when you do get a big meal but it tastes average or below – just means you’ve got a lot of mediocre food to get through. Luckily, the Kings Hotel in Bathurst has both quality and quantity ticked – especially the QUANTITY!
Now this is a pub that knows it’s damn meat! No piddly little servings here. Be prepared for a plate of tucker so big that your bowel movement the next day is likely to crack even the strongest porcelain! Everything on the menu (all averaging between $28 & $35) comes out in massive servings that even a seasoned glutton such as I finds impressive. For instance, here is the Kids Menu Steak & Chips:
Now I’ve been to this pub several times with various folk and I’ve yet to hear anyone complain about their meals. However I’m going to take you through the three I’ve had – all bowel-busting delights!
Cajun Surf & Turf
sirloin steak topped with balmain bug & prawns in a cajun infused butter
This is by far the tastiest thing on the menu! The steak and balmain bug are both of a hefty size and cooked beautifully and the cajun butter is just fan-freakin-tastic! Genuinely really tasty! This is one of those meals will leave you going “Wow – god damn! That was good!” I recommend helping it down with a few beers, and if you are a Transformers Fan then you can’t go past the below beer, especially in 2016!
Rack of Pork Ribs
Bourbon bbq & apple sauce with chips & salad
They didn’t off Piglet or Wilbur for this – they killed one of those big boars out of Footrot Flats, ripped it’s ribs out, cooked’em up and slapped them on a plate! Quite possibly the biggest serving of ribs I’ve ever had served up to me! The meat is very tender, however without a sauce on it, it is a bit bland. I was surprised to find the restaurant would not budge on the sauce. You could only get bourbon bbq & apple, nothing else. They were kind enough to put it on the side for me but I would have still preferred a different flavour option, maybe something mustardy. So this is good but only grab it if you are a massive pork fan or like the aforementioned sauce flavour.
Now for the REAL reason to visit this restaurant……
THE KINGS KILO STEAK!
1kg of rump steak (cooked up to medium)
A lot of people feel intimidated by the idea of eating a kilo of beef in one go. Why?! I find this fear completely foreign, even when I was a skinny bugger I could down giant steaks like matlesers. Considering I ate a 1.5kg Pork Knuckle in Germany, a 1kg steak holds no fears for the likes of I. And nor should it for you! Eat it! Eat the damn steak! I’ve had steaks this size at many locals but I will say this was the best one. The fact they refuse to cook it more than medium shows they have a clue what they are doing, I prefer medium-rare myself. This steak was juicy, tender, succulent and you got a choice of sides and sauces (I personally went with a hearty gravy but the garlic would have been good too). At well under $40 you are definitely getting your money’s worth. Eat this steak! Eat it because it’s tasty, eat it to prove to yourself you can, eat it to impress your friends, but most of all… eat it because it’s the right thing to do.
So in a nutshell this restaurant is well worth visiting. The food is tasty, the beer cold and the meal portions are beyond reproach! Go get yaself a a gut-full right now!
A link to the Kings Hotel can be found here: http://kingsongeorge.com.au/kingstable/