Today we have another question from Shannon in Pendle Hill:
‘When you have a Vicks VapoDrop lozenge, where does the mucus in your nose go? It just disappears!’
Well Shannon I must say, in this day and age of Pandemics, its nice to see someone still thinking about the common cold.
Before we continue, I must state right now DO NOT USE THOSE DROPS! EVER!
Now let me tell you why….
In the era of information gathering, everyone is worried about it happening online. Social Media outlets monitoring your posts to find out about your work and family. Search Engines watching what you look for so they can target advertising right at your weaknesses. Beware the Cookies!
But forget online – it doesn’t matter. It’s the bastion of nerds, stalkers and of course the incredibly intelligent, good looking people who read this blog. No, you need to worry about what is happening in reality, and what one company is after – your genetic template.
That’s right, Vicks isn’t interested in curing your cold! They are however interested in your mucus. Because if they get your mucus they get your DNA. And if they have your DNA, then they can clone you. And if they can clone you, then they can murder you, put their clone in your place and then they have yet another operative out there in society doing their malevolent bidding! You had savings? That money now belongs to the Vicks company. You had a job? Now your clone works there, subtly furthering the Vicks agenda. You had kids? They are now your clone’s kids and being raised in the Vicks ideology.
Those Vapodrops are not designed to cure your mucus problems. They are to signal the company that there is snot to be harvested! When you suck the pill and it dissolves, a tiny radioactive marker is released. You don’t notice it as you are sick and already feel like shit anyway. That radioactive marker is then picked up on by one of the multitude of Vicks controlled satellites orbiting the earth and your location immediately relayed to the nearest infiltration team. Then, as you sleep, the team silently enters your home and, using a mini turkey-baster, sucks all of the mucus out of your nose. Then they hightail it with a vial-full of your precious DNA. This is happening in thousands of homes across the world each night!
So Shannon, that is where your mucus goes when you pop a Vicks Vapodrop lollie. It goes to a secret underground bunker where scientists analyse it and begin preparations to make a Shannon-clone, soon to become one of the ever-growing army of snot-spawned operatives that each day bring us towards a total Vicks-controlled populace and the annihilation of society as we know it!
So next time mate, do us all a favour and just use a hanky eh 😉
I hope this has answered your question.
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