Valentines Day.  The cynical see it as a day invented by the greeting card companies.  The sleazy see it as a day to prey on lonely, drunk, single people in bars.  For those of us with partners it can often seem a bit of a chore, as if like Christmas we are supposed to drag our sorry butts out there yet again and rack our brains for something to give our significant other in order to fulfill this yearly obligation.

But nay, these are all the wrong ways to look at this day of romance.  Yes it may be a bit cheesy, it may be a bit stereotypical, but Valentine’s Day really can be a day to enjoy and show the one you love that you actually do care!

Now, there are few that have met me that could deny I am a romantic soul.  I have romance drippin out me various pores I do!  When it comes to wooing the fairer sex there is me, Don Juan and Donald Trump.  So here are Big Romantic Trev’s tips for romancin the arse off your beloved!

 

Lovin’ for the Ladies

Guys (and lesbians – excellent taste shown there girls!), it really isn’t that hard.  Go with the stereotypes.  You know why they are stereotypes?  Because everyone does them.  You know why everyone does them?  Because they work!  I always go the full gamut:

• Flowers: If you know her favorite type of flowers that’s a definite plus!
• Chocolates: If she has a real sweet tooth, get a great big box!  If not so much, a nice little box of Belgian chocolates goes down well.
• Jewelry: No tiaras or belly-button rings (unless dating a hippy).  A nice pendant on a chain or a pair of earrings.  If you know her style, so much the better.
• A card: Just a sweet one from a cheapy shop. Don’t waste $6 on something that she will go ‘oh isn’t that nice’ at and then put in a draw forever.  She will value the message you write more than the quality of the cardboard.
• Food: Want brownie points?  Take her out to a fancy restaurant for a lovely candlelit meal for two.  If you have kids book a babysitter well in advance.  However if you want to score big points, cook her her favorite meal!  My wife loves Thai food so for example this year I will be taking her for lunch at a nice restaurant and then cooking her up some green curry for tea.
• Wine: Doesn’t have to be champagne, just a nice bottle of whatever she likes.  Not a $200 bottle but don’t grab some eight-buck plonk from the gas station either.  Make sure that you actually know what she likes – no point in getting a dry white when she is a sweet red gal.
• A massage: Got kids that refuse to fall asleep till late?  A nice shoulder massage while you are watching TV is good.  No kids or the kids went to sleep before midnight?  A nice long back massage with some proper oil will give her the best ending she could hope for that day.  And who knows – maybe she will be that appreciative she might rub something of yours in return so you get a happy ending too!
• Lingerie: Hmmm… tricky.  You both know that it’s really for your own benefit.   I have known very few women who really dig expensive lingerie.  But on the other hand you don’t get many excuses to buy her a pair of fancy knickers so it’s hard to bypass the opportunity when it arises.  My advice – stagger it out.  Only get her some every second or third Valentines day. Otherwise she will see it that your opinion of Valentines is ‘I want a shag day’ and the romance will soon vanish.

 

Mush for the Men

Men are simple creatures; we don’t need a lot of romancing.  However even we appreciate the odd gesture to remind us that we are loved.  Luckily these gestures, like every girl I dated at Uni, are cheap and easy:

• Food: Wanna make your man feel loved?  Cook him a big breakfast!  Doesn’t have to have everything but a generous helping of eggs, sausages, bacon, beans and toast are a must with a strong cup of coffee.  No need to give it to us in bed, that’s a Fathers Day thing.
• Nookie: Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day so your man is going to be hoping for a bit of action.  If it’s a weekend and you’ve got no kids, well there are certain ways of waking up your man that will make him feel very loved indeed!  Otherwise a romantic liaison between the sheets at evenings end, perhaps wearing that nice lingerie he bought you that you pretended you liked, should make him a very happy chappy.

And that’s it for romancing a guy – told ya we don’t need much!

 

So this Valentines Day, don’t treat it as a chore.  Treat it as a chance to show that special someone that they mean the world to you.  And don’t forget to fill your bellies, your hearts and yes, your beds, with love!

 

Got some more Valentines Day tips?  Would love to read them in the comments section below!