Todays ‘Ask Trev’ question comes from Scott in Lake Munmorah,
‘What’s it like being a radio star?’
Well Scott, it’s not as glamorous as you might think, nor as easy. One does not simply show up to the station with a box of CD’s and a laptop of downloaded songs ready to go. It takes a lot of work and preparation throughout the day to get ready for that evening’s performance.
To answer your question best, let me take you through a typical day leading up to that night’s broadcast of The Big DJ Trev Show:
7am – Wake up. Groan. Scratch. Roll over. Go back to sleep.
9am – Wake up. Groan. Scratch. Get up. Brought Irish Coffee by butler.
9.30am – Breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausages, Black Pudding, Hash Brown, Mushrooms, Toast, more Coffee. Tell butler to give the groupies in my bed cab fare and send them on their way.
10am – Go to toilet. Read papers to check for interesting news stories to discuss on tonight’s show.
10.30am – Reflect upon how I am so much more knowledgeable and such a superior writer to every journalist in every newspaper everywhere. Finish going to toilet.
11am – Personal Assistant opens and reads out my fan mail. For those who have sent cash/Transformers/nude photos tell assistant to send them 8×10 glossies and autograph them on my behalf.
12pm – Limo arrives to take me for working lunch with Agent at All-you-can-eat BBQ Rib Joint. Half- listen to latest round of offers of movie roles, television spots, celebrity appearances and book deals. Endure constant flirtations from busty 19-yo waitress as she brings plate after plate of ribs.
12.30pm – Hit Agent over head with whiskey bottle when suggestion made of doing a Reality TV Show with Sophie Monk. Agent grovels and apologizes profusely. Get fellated by waitress.
2pm – Ribbon Cutting at new Hospital Wing in my name. Inform Agent (still bleeding) to keep all sick people at least 20 feet from my position or else its Whiskey Bottle Time again – Agent rushes off to inform bodyguards. Plaster smile on my face as photographs taken, hands shook and fans scream my name.
4pm – Meet with personal trainer. Told yet again should not be smoking and drinking on treadmill. Tell trainer yet again to go fornicate himself and throw beer bottle at him. Personal Trainer apologises and goes to find bandages.
5pm – Dinner: 1.2kg Tomahawk Steak with garlic mushroom sauce, sides of mash potatoes and roasted corn on the cob. Pedicure whilst eating and assistant reads through celebrity guest list for tonight’s show.
5.30pm – Chopper ride to Radio Station. Fussed over by the ladies from wardrobe, hair and makeup.
5.57pm -Moment of crippling self-doubt in dressing room, knowing that I’m a sham who makes his fortune off playing the music of real artists.
5.58pm – Shot of the brown stuff, snort of the white stuff.
5.59pm – Walk through station to Broadcast Booth. Clapping from all sides whilst bodyguards clear a path.
6pm – Showtime!
I hope this answers your question Scott, and that you enjoyed a sneak peak behind the scenes of what hard-working prep I go to each week to bring you the sparkling entertainment you have all come to expect and enjoy. And remember folks, you can listen to The Big DJ Trev Show every Thursday night from 6 to 9pm on KRR.fm.
Ask Trev: How does Big Busy Trev manage to get everything done?