When it comes to cooking, various cultures seem to have the patents on different styles.  The French have their light-on-the-stomach-yet-sinfully-rich cusine.  The Germans are masters of wrapping up huge hunks of quadruped in cabbage and roasting the hell out of it.  The Mexicans… well…. what you can usually say about Mexican food is that it’s fun to eat!

I like Mexican food, having an almost Deadpool’esque love of the food.  I’ve never actually been to Mexico so I’ve always had to deal with other countries interpretations of their food.  All the Mexican restaurants I tried in Melbourne were distinctly average.  In fact the only really good Mexican restaurant I’ve been to was in Edinburgh, Scotland.  Since that was over a decade ago I’ve been really hankering to have good Mexican again, so was eager to try the food at Cactus Jam in Warrnambool.

 

What’s the best way to sum up the food at Cactus Jam?  Oh yeah – you could cook it better at home!  I’m a decent cook so I expect when I go to a restaurant that, since they are professionals, they should cook better than I.  I’m always disappointed when I walk away from a meal thinking ‘I could have cooked that’ or even worse ‘I could have cooked that much better!’. 

In Australia we get a glut of American television and it seems to be a recurring joke on sitcoms that most restaurants, be they Italian, French or whatever that they actually have a bunch of Mexicans working in the kitchen.  Well, Cactus Jam could have used a few actual Mexicans in their kitchen cooking the actual Mexican food.  Like the German Hofbrauhaus in Melbourne, I don’t think anyone of that nationality has ever stepped foot in the place (for my review of that restaurant – see HERE).

 

I tried the Carne Con Chile Colarado.  I love Chili Con Carne but never get to cook it at home anymore as the rest of the family isn’t keen on it, so was looking forward to bowl of restaurant quality tucker.  What I got tasted exactly like those Stagg Chili cans you buy for 3 bucks at Coles.  And I mean exactly!  Which means either you are getting brilliant value at Coles or else Cactus Jam did a shit job.  Because it was Colarado-style (which meant essentially a US-bastardized version of Mexican food) there were no beans in it at all, and though the beef was supposed to be slow-cooked, it didn’t taste anything special.  I’ve made better, and I’m sure with minimal effort you could too.

 

My wife got the Chicken and Beef Fajitas.  At least these came with two types of meat and lots of different side foods and sauces to apply so they were fun to make.  That’s about it for all the positives you can say about it.  Much like the their Chili tasting like a can of Stagg, these tasted like the chefs just grabbed a bunch of Old El Paso packs from the supermarket and took their cues from there.    You could make these at home no sweat and probably better than Cactus Jam did.

 

Mexican Beers

At least the restaurant seemed to have a few authentic Mexican beers on the drinks list, even if they seemed to pick the shittiest ones.  Mexican beer is like Mexican food, it doesn’t have a stellar reputation but it is possible to get good stuff.  I tried the Cave Creek Chili Beer.  I’ve had Chili Beer before (to see me drinking it along with 15 different Hot Sauces see my video HERE) and know it’s not the tastiest but decided to give this a go as it had an actual chili floating in it which I thought was very cool!

Worst.  Beer.  Ever!  I mean it – it was quite literally worst beer I have ever drunk in my life!  It was filthy!  It made the Dos Equis Larger I had next (a decidedly average beer) taste like manna from heaven in comparison.

 

So worth going to Cactus Jam?

No.  No its not.  The food is crap, you could cook better at home or at the very least make food its equal out of a can or pack.  They have Mexican beers but seemed to stock up on all the shittiest ones.  The only thing you could say about the place is that you don’t have to do the dishes – but I don’t think that warrants the expensive price tag.  Mexican?  More like Mexican’t!  Heh – I wonder if I’m the first person to think of that pun? Probably not but I’m proud of it!

 

Eaten there and have a different opinion?  Tell us in the comments below.