Tag Archives: burger

Meaty Goodness!

Burger Review #4: Pulled BBQ Wagyu

Leave a comment

Spoons.  Not just a catch cry for the superhero ‘The Tick’ but also a riverside restaurant to be found in sunny Swan Hill.

My wife and I have been eating at Spoons a few times a year since we moved to the area back in 2011.  What I’ve always liked about the restaurant is the majority of what is on the menu are meals that you would never cook yourself or have little idea how to. I remember years ago when there eating slow-cooked pork belly  on a bed of popped barley and warm grapes!  While not the cheapest restaurant in town, you usually get value for money and rarely walk out of the place disappointed.

 

Today for my meat review I will be looking at their latest offering: Pulled BBQ Wagyu on soft pretzel bun with slaw and fries.

Tastier than I look!

Yep, it’s just a fancy beef burger.  But a damn fine fancy beef burger!  The meat was indeed very tender and unlike some restaurants (I’m looking at you Cactus Jam) they did not rely on the meats succulence alone to sell the meal.  This had a mild BBQ flavoring which was very pleasant; it may surprise many that I’m not a big fan of BBQ sauce on the whole – I find it too strong and it overpowers the flavor of the meat.  This BBQ flavoring served to enhance the meat rather than overpower it, something you don’t find too often.  Whilst the slaw seemed more like something you would find at a backyard barby, in this burger it served as a crisp counterpoint to the pulled Wagyu.

I gots to get me one of those little baskets!

The meal came with a little cage of fries, designed to look like a deep fryer basket which was cool.  What was disappointing was that they came out stone cold.  However when I brought this to the attention of a waitress she whisked it away and in quite literally under a minute I had a new cage of fries before me, lovely and warm and overflowing.  This is impressive from Spoons, their speed has really picked up over the past 12 months; my main gripe about them used to be you would on average wait over an hour for your food but that seems to thankfully be a thing of the past.

 

My wife had the Spoons prawn and avocado salad with mustard and dill dressing.

The detail is in the de-tailing

It was quite nice and what I liked was that the prawns had been de-tailed.  I find it really annoying when a restaurant leaves the tails on when there is sauce everywhere, making you get your hands sticky and filthy just to eat your meal (something I have known another Swan Hill restaurant – Quo Vadis – to do more than once).  Washed down with a couple of glasses of sparkling wine and both meals were delightful to have for a Valentine’s Day lunch.

 

So overall I heartily recommend the Pulled BBQ Wagyu burger and indeed Spoons in general.  It may be the most pricey place to eat in town but it is not ruinously expensive and you always feel like you get value for money.  Try the Mallee Tasting Platter while you are there – Manangatang rabbit terrine, kangaroo chipolatas, Spoons picked pear and Chillingollah pheasant farm paté.  I’ve known the guy that owns the pheasant farm for years and he is a gun at grinding up a bird!  This combined with the rabbit and kangaroo equates to an entrée you are unlikely to get anywhere else.

 

Have you eaten at Spoons yourself?  Will you eat there after reading this review?  Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!

Meaty Goodness!

Burgers Review #2: – The TRADIE, The TRUCKIE & The MALLEE BOMB!

Leave a comment

As a rule if a dish has a manly name like ‘Tradie’, ‘Truckie’ or ‘Bomb’ then it’s going to be something yours truly is going to want to shove in his gob! Why? Well besides desperately trying to hide ones insecurities from the world by appearing macho and gruff on the outside, hiding the wobbly, gelatin-like persona within, it usually means there is going to be lots of MEAT!

On a recent state-crossing trip I had occasion to drop in to three different cafe’s which had foodstuffs like those described above on their menu. So lets examine them and see if they were worth this weary traveller’s mastication.

 

The TRADIE Burger

Location: Gray St Café, Swan Hill, VIC

IMG_4249

Despite the blokey name this came across as a pretty standard, average burger. Cheese, lettuce, egg, bacon, tomato, sauce – the patty was sausage mince with carrot throughout which was kinda different. No onion which was a shame. It was nice that they will change the fillings based on your predilections (I went with two friends; one didn’t want bacon, another didn’t want egg, I didn’t want tomato) but it all came across as something that you could buy most anywhere. If these burgers were boobs they would be B-cups – certainly enough there to sate your appetite, but leaving you wishing there had been more to them. Not really recommended.

 

The TRUCKIE Burger

Location: Balfours Cafe, Birkenhead, SA

IMG_4251

Now we are talking more of a burger! The usual lettuce, tomato, sauce, onion, egg etc but then double meat, double cheese and double bacon! And by Primus the amount of bacon – they easily could have referred to it as quadruple bacon! The amount of oil dripping off this burger was a bit disturbing, the wrapper felt like I could use it to grease myself up and then toboggan on my gut down the nearest freeway. But you know what, after eating what felt like half a pigs worth of crispy goodness I was feeling sexy enough to try! Happily recommended.

 

The MALLEE BOMB!

Location: Cobb & Co Café, Murrayville, VIC/SA border

IMG_4250

I ordered this thinking it was a lamb burger, but when it arrived it turned out to be some sort of weird dissected souvlaki. Chips covered with Mallee Lamb, with cheese, fried onion and garlic sauce drizzled all over the thing! Chuck a few bits of pita bread on top and yeah, it looks like a souvlaki had a bomb implanted in it which subsequently burst on your plate, leaving it’s yummy innards splayed upon the ceramic battlefield. I will say that they were not mucking about when they said they were using Mallee Lamb – this was really top quality meat! Very tender and succulent indeed,  you will walk away from the table feeling fit to burst – the sign of a damn fine meal! Highly recommended!

 

Meaty Goodness!, Tales of the Trev

Burger Review #1: Big Angry Trev vs Australia’s Hottest Hamburger!

3 Comments

Preface: The “TNT Burger” is the hottest 100% Australian made burger in the world ! We use sauces made by “The Chilli Factory” including the lastest “Scorpion Strike” which is made with the hottest chilli in the world – the Trinidad Scorpion Butch T,,we also use the famous “Turbo Supercharge” as well as “Devils Delirium” in our patty among with other special flavours ! The patty is 330gm infused with the above sauces,the bun is 200gm,the burger is topped with fresh chillis, 2 rashers of bacon,tomato,lettuce,onion& cheese and of course The Chilli Factory’s award winning sauces! Many have tried with no luck and a sore ring im sure ! Only 14 people have successfully munched it down ! Those who have succeeded get their name on the “Wall of Flame” and receive a Chilli Factory stubbie holder and lanyard ! Now with the new hottest chilli in the world (“Trinidad Scorpion Butch T ) the burger will be at its hottest

 

Thursday

11.00am: I telephone the venue and book the burger challenge the requisite 24-hours in advance. I am informed that the burger will cost $15 because of the imported chili’s and they will not start it’s preparation until I am on site.

 

Friday

11.15am: I take a group of teenagers, whom (quite understandably) look to me as their guiding inspiration, down to the venue so they can watch me eat it. I figure that I’m used to eating hot sauce pretty often and if it’s too hot I’ll just wolf it down fast. I have what drinks I will require all squared up in my head and I feel ready for the challenge.

11.20am: They start to make the burger. I see how big the patty is and realize I won’t be wolfing this down fast – it’s very big! The boys and I are watching the chef at work with growing trepidation. We see the imported chili’s taken out, chopped up and put on (there’s a lot of them – I find out later from the chef that they are in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the hottest in the world!). A lot of the sauces being poured on have ratings adorning the  labels such as 12/10 hotness!

11.25am: The chefs wife comes out, informs me of the contest rules. There can be no drinking during the challenge (uh-oh!), I have to sit at this table in the middle of the place by myself so no one else gets any of the hot sauces on them by accident. I need to wear special gloves when eating it (holy crap!). They provide napkins and say only use one at a time to wipe my mouth (apparently my lips and skin will be burning) then discard so I don’t spread the juices and make it worse. They provide one of my entourage  a cooled tea towel and instruct him that he will need to mop my forehead fairly often. They also instruct me to keep the sauces/juices away from my eyes as I could end up in hospital if I get any in there.

11.30am: I sit down, now somewhat nervous and don the gloves. My disciples set themselves up at a respectful distance to watch and some film with their phones. The burger comes out (it is damn big!). I’m informed I have two hours to eat it, most people that have managed it (only 14 out of the few hundred that have tried) take about an hour.

 

Burger

11.31am: I take my first bite. It’s hot, damn hot, but nothing I can’t handle. I decide to try and get it down fast so I start really hoeing in. The lads are laughing and encouraging me.

11.35am: Mouth and throat now on fire! Really want a drink. Starting to slow with my eating.

11.40am: Lips and surrounding skin now burning. Using napkins after each bite. Have broken out in the sweats – armpits saturated and forehead needing to be frequently mopped. Lads laughter has turned to unsure giggles.

11.45am: Starting to feel nauseous, eating slow. Needing a break after each bite with eyes closed and slow breathing. The Chef appears and tells my entourage not to make any noise as people often need peace at this part of the process.

11.50am: Taking a full minute break between each bite. Two-thirds of burger gone. Mouth and throat no longer on fire as they have gone numb. Nausea has become quite intense. Really sweating hard.

11.55am: Disciples now silent except for one telling me he thinks I should stop. The chefs wife comes to check on me, tells me if I start to have chest pains she will be forced to stop the challenge.

12.00pm: Nausea now very intense. Feeling a very odd tingling sensation down both arms I have never felt before. Hands shaking, eyes closed, breathing heavily.

12.05pm: Having to chew each tiny mouthful about 50 times before I can swallow it. Throat numb and swollen. Even eating a tiny piece of onion makes me feel like I am going to vomit. Dead silence in the venue, everyone watching intently, no one cheering me on anymore, just a lot of worried faces.

12.10pm: Stomach now not only nauseous but I am feeling definite acute pains down there. The tingling in my arms has become very intense. Strong headache coming on. Skin ever redder than usual. I take a bite of the patty about the size of a mint. Realize that if I swallow it I will definitely vomit. Look at my plate, there is about a fifth of the burger to go. I realize that I’m going to lose the challenge – I just can’t do it! Take the piece of meat out of my mouth, put it on the table and admit defeat with a hung head.

12.11pm: The teenagers all breathe a sigh of relief and I realize just how intense the atmosphere had become. The Chef’s wife brings me some fresh watermelon and a drink which I take gratefully. The  Chef himself comes out, we shake hands and I compliment him on his victory. We chat for about 5 minutes, turns out that the first time he tried the challenge he couldn’t do it either. I vow to come back next year and take another crack at it. I don’t get my name on the wall or the other prizes but he gives me a lanyard for getting so close. The Chef’s wife warns me that I should  not kiss anyone for the next 5 hours because the heat transfers and it could cause them pain and made quite the point of emphasizing I should not kiss anyone anywhere, don’t think she was talking about at the Opera somehow.

12.15pm: I drive back to work,  find a cool quiet bit of carpet in front of an air conditioner in a low traffic area and lie down. A bemused but sympathetic co-worker gets me some pain killers from the First Aid cabinet. I count down the clock until the day ends, trying not to vomit. Go home and spend the rest of the day with severe stomach pains coming and going. Drinking milk seems to alleviate the worst symptoms.

 

Saturday

3.10am: Wake up with stomach hurting and something definitely going wrong downstairs. Go to the toilet. What I can only assume is a form of viscous fire erupts from the lower part of me. Spend the next half hour on the toilet in intense pain and my backside feeling just as much on fire as my mouth had done 15 hours earlier.

3.40am: Take pain killers and alka-seltzers and go back to bed, vowing not to go back next year and try again.

 

Afterword: I tell this story with a sense of shame.  It is the only time in my entire life I have failed a food challenge and failure does not sit well with me, so I may be stupid enough to make another attempt some time in the future.  In the end it was the nausea the burger was creating that beat me (and given the ingredients I am not surprised) rather than how hot it was making my mouth so maybe something to line my stomach beforehand may be in order.