Tag Archives: Big Angry Trev

Legends ‘LG35 Super Ginrai’ vs Titans Return ‘Powermaster Optimus Prime’

Super Ginrai.  Not just the Japanese version of Powermaster Optimus Prime but a character unto his own right.  Finding himself to be not just an ordinary human but to be an actual Autobot Godmaster (how’s that for a bitchin subgroup name!) who could bond with a Transector in order to don the visage of legendary Autobot leader Optimus Prime and fight the evil Destrons…

… or so the story goes.  It may be a different character technically but in reality it’s pretty much the same damn toy.  The G1 Super Ginrai and Powermaster Optimus had very few differences, even if one was a little Japanese dude obsessed with his big hair in a mech suit and the other was Optimus Prime on steroids.

Here we are 30 years later and we have a similar thing happening.  The (US) Titans Return toy is ‘Powermaster Optimus Prime’ whilst the retooled (JP) Legends version is ‘LG35 Super Ginrai’.  Both toys have their pro’s and cons.  Six months ago I reviewed the Optimus toy (which can be read HERE); today I’m going to give a quick overview of the Legends Super Ginrai version and then most importantly engage in a comparison.  This way you, my loyal readers, will know which to shell out your hard-earned money on.

 

First off – Super Ginrai!

I’m not Optimus Prime, I swear!

Truck Mode

No, I’m not Optimus I said!

Very nice and solid.  Unbeknown to most there is a small screw between the cab wheels you can loosen so that the cab does not have to sit flush with the trailer.  The trailer is very reminiscent of the original toy and the trailer has all the armament that the G1 version did.  The end result is a Mad Max’esque tractor trailer in a world gone mad – nice!

 

Robot Mode

Look, I’m not f*cking Optimus Prime OK!?!

Instead of Ginrai turning into the engine of his Optimus (but not Optimus) mech he now turns into the head. While still a cool concept I liked the engine gimmick better simply as it was that bit rarer.  Very nice proportions, decently articulated and a nice paintjob.  Good overall.

 

Base Mode

And no, I’m not ‘Optimus who got stuck in a particularly challenging yoga pose’ either you f*cking smartass!

Really does not stand up to the original G1 toys base mode.  There are some gun turrets that Ginrai can sit in and all the guns from the other two modes are useable here.  But it looks sparse and everything looks a bit flimsy – like he got stuck in mid-transformation.

 

Comparison between Legends LG-35 Super Ginrai and Titans Return Powermaster Optimus Prime

Vehicle Mode

Ginrai looks a lot more similar to the original toy whereas Optimus looks like an updated version, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  The black guns on the top of trailer work a lot better on Ginrai and his robot feet sit a lot more flush at the back.  I have to give points to Optimus for a new style and Ginrai for a more balanced look.

Base Mode

6 of 1, a half dozen of the other.  Both don’t look flash to me.  There are a few differences with the different chest pieces that come up to be the central seat for the Headmaster. The towers on Ginrai work being put higher due to you being able to place the black guns half way up, something you cant do with Optimus due to his robots hands not rotating.

 

Robot Mode

‘One of these bots is not like the other…’

One of the most significant differences are the ankles.  Ginrai’s have been extensively retooled in order that they pivot better and provide more height.  This makes Ginrai slightly taller than Optimus overall.  Optimus’ hand guns look that bit more impressive but Ginrai is able to hold his better due to maneuverable wrists.  The chest armor is slightly different as well.  Overall I think Ginrai does look that bit better than Optimus here.

 

Apex vs Ginrai

Two heads are…. no, wait, too obvious a joke. I’ll come back.

Apex is the name of Optimus’ Titan Master partner whereas Ginrai is, well, Ginrai but as stated turns into a head instead of an engine.  When comparing the two, Apex transforms into a head which looks a lot like Orion Pax, with the Optimus helmet going over the top.  Ginrai turns into an Optimus head with… er… an Optimus helmet going over the top (the definition of redundant).  So Apex wins the alt-mode race but the robot/human mode race is no race at all.  Ginrai has lots of detail and (even though you probably cant tell with my bad camera) even has a little human face. Apex by comparison has bland colours and a featureless head.

Ones a robot, ones a human in a mech suit. Both have absolutely screwed torsos

 

So who to choose?

Look, I got both because of the displays I wanted to create.  One display is of Optimus Prime figures which turn into trucks and have a trailer so Powermaster Optimus Prime goes there.  The other is robot modes of all the different Generations (and Generations subsets) characters and while I have plenty of Generations Optimus figures I didn’t have a Ginrai one so he goes there.  That said, I still feel like I wasted my money a bit by getting both.  They are just too similar to warrant the expenditure on two Leader-class figures.

If I was to pick one I’d pick Ginrai.  The robot mode is better and the Headmaster partner is a lot better.  Ginrai wins.  But then I guess, if you get both, you can at least join them up in to one super base like I have below!

 

Got something you would like to add to this ‘comparison of toys’ review?  Would love to read it in the comments section below!

Toy Review – LG39 Brainstorm

Brainstorm, a character that has gone from relative obscurity to a fan favorite in recent years, thanks mainly to the More than Meets the Eye comic series.  Now gone from being a bit player in the short lived season 4 of the US he is everyone’s favorite amoral weapons designer.  However the version we are looking at today is an homage to his much larger television outing in the Japanese Headmasters series.  So without further ado, from the Legends series let’s have a look at LG39 Brainstorm.

Japanese TF boxes, so plain but with such great artwork!

Vehicle Mode

It wasn’t until I took the gun out of the box and realized that it was a match for Titans Return Blurr’s (for a review of TR Blurr see HERE) that I had a better look at Brainstorms Cybertronian jetfighter mode and realized the whole figure is a retooled Blurr.  And once you can imagine the wings being gone it becomes quite obvious.  That said, it’s a very nice looking version of Brainstorms alt-mode with the twin guns at the front, sleek nose and slim wings.  The orange cockpit makes a nice counterpoint to the rest of the colour scheme and Brainstorms Headmaster partner Cana fits nicely inside.

 

Robot Mode

A bit small for my liking but it means that he scales well with the rest of the Legends/Titans Return figures.  You can remove the nosecone and add it to the arm for extra firepower or leave it attached to his back where it is only noticeable when looking through the legs.  The figure has good articulation and once again that lovely Tak/Tom paintjob.

Somebody messed with the wrong Wang today!

 

Cana and Synapse.

Pimp Daddy Cana’s a bit spoiled for choice!

Synapse is actually the name of the drone vehicle that comes with Brainstorm.  This can either be in a jeep mode for Cana to drive or turn into a double-barelled blaster for Brainstorm to weild.  Given the colour scheme one could almost mistake it for a mini-Kup.

Cana has been based on Brainstorms JP Headmaster appearance with the removal of the faceplate.  He is nicely detailed in both his modes.  When compared with Arcana from the Thrilling 30 version of Brainstorm you can see the difference in size between the two figures, its just a shame you cant swap them over from one body to the other (trust me, I tried).  Given the differences in size and facial structure, it makes Legends Brainstorm look like Generations Brainstorm’s younger brother.

 

Overall

To be honest, I actually still kinda like Generations Brainstorm better.  He is bigger, bulkier and his removable vehicle weapons to use as pistols is very G1-toy accurate.  However Legends Brainstorm scales well with the current series of toys, has a great colour scheme and comes with not only a Headmaster partner but a drone as well.  Depends if you are a fan of the HM cartoon or MTMTE as to which one you may decide to get – or if you are an obsessive fan like me you can just get both!

 

“I’m Brainstorm”
“No, I’m Brainstorm”

Toy Review – LG40 Astrotrain

Astrotrain – truly a mainstay of the Decepticons in fiction since he first turned up in the G1 cartoon waaay back in 1985.  And why not – he is a Giant Robot that turns into a Space Shuttle and a Train!  I’m sorry but things don’t get much cooler than that!  Despite being immensely popular in the cartoon and there rarely having been a G1 comic in the last decade that hasn’t featured him extensively (always the troop transport aren’t ya, ya poor bugger!  To think back in the cartoon you became god of a moon!) Astrotrain has received very few toys over the years.  I suppose it’s not the easiest to design, a train and shuttle in one.  But now we have one again and he is a Headmaster no less!  So let’s get on with the review of the Legends series LG40 Astrotrain!

Gotta love Japanese box artwork

Please note: Legends Astrotrain is a tweaking of Titans Return Sentinel Prime so I will be making several references.  For my review of TR Sentinel Prime please read HERE.

 

Space Shuttle Mode

You can finally see the windows!

Quite flat but certainly a nicely shaped shuttle.  There are several options as to where you can place the guns, either on the sides or on the top (I go for the sides personally).  Astrotrain’s Headmaster can sit in either the little cockpit at the back between the tailfins or can sit in one of the gun turrets on the side.  Despite the great Tak/Tom colour scheme designed to make him look a lot like the G1 cartoon, he still looks a little bland in this mode.  However they have at least coloured the windows of the cockpit, something that the Sentinel Prime figure was sorely lacking and from photos I’ve seen the TR version of Astrotrain suffers from this as well.

Surely one of them will make it to Cybertron

 

Train Mode

Realism – 2%, Utter Coolness – 98%

It’s a damn weird train!  Looks like a Cybertronian train of some kind because I don’t think we have trains like this on earth, even in Japan.  Like the shuttle version, the train’s windows have added colour here in order to highlight them and the gun ports on the top of the train have been coloured differently to the section (Astrotrains robot arms) that they protrude from.  That and the overall colour scheme make this a far superior looking train to Sentinel Prime who looked like a bright red and orange stick.    Given you can now make out the train wheels and the trains cabin, it really gives a sense of scale to the toy, that this is a big-arse Cybertronian transport!

A JNR Class D51 Steam Locomotive from 1936. A Tsubame 800 Bullet Train from 2004. Does that mean we will see the new Astrotrain on the tracks in Japan around the year 2090?

 

Robot Mode

Space Beefcake!

What a butch looking Astrotrain!  In fact I think probably the best looking official Astrotrain toy we have ever had!  No chest boobs and static arms like the G1 toy, no giant back fins like the Timelines version and he certainly stands quite literally head and shoulders above the Classics version.  Good articulation on all extremities, nicely poseable and a good paint job.  I like how both his hand guns can join together to become one long rifle much like the G1 toy was sporting.  He is of course a Headmaster and his Headmaster partner (whose name is actually Head Master – no points for originality there) can come off and be replaced with any other Headmaster.  A great gimmick for little kids and my son loves it, but for myself as a grown up fan I just want Astrotrain himself.

Sentinel is a reminder to Astrotrain to always wear sunscreen

 

Overall

This is a great Astrotrain!  Yes the shuttle mode is a tiny bit flat and bland and the train mode is a bit alien in appearance but taken as a whole all three modes work and work well.  We needed a Voyager-sized Astrotrain for the Generations lineup and he makes a great buddy for Blitzwing.  The Tak/Tom version with the cartoon-homaging paintjob puts this toy far beyond the Titans Return version in my opinion and I heartily recommend this figure to all fans of great characters who get stuck carrying their mates around all day.  This guy will definitely make it to Cybertron!

I gotta catch a train. I gotta catch’em all!

Raising Goats as Pets

Goats.  Sheep with brains.  Reputations for being grumpy, smelly, eating tin cans and destroying any plants they get near.  Why would anyone want a goat as a pet?

Because, if raised correctly, they are intelligent, loving, playful and can become wonderful members of your family, that’s why!

We have two female Boer Goats – Milly and Molly – twin sisters.  And they are the nicest animals you could ever hope to meet!  They follow us around like dogs, eat from our hand, give little kisses and licks and love to climb trees with the kids.  In fact they are wonderful with the children as whenever we go for a walk they tend to pick a child each and shadow them, walking three or four feet behind, just like they are their hairy protectors.

Of course, goats can be a lot of work and you need to have the right space set up for them.  So here  are some excellent tips for keeping goats as pets.

 

What Goats to Pick

The definition of cute!

*Hand-raised goats are a mustWe’ve had friends who had goats as pets which were part of tamed flocks and while mostly docile were not above giving the odd butt or bite if in a bad mood.  You want goats that have been bottle fed and have spent lots of time around children.

*If you have not raised the goats yourself, make sure you take ownership of them at around 6 months of age.  Any later and they will not imprint on you to the extent that you want.

 

Habitat

Lots of space is a must

*Have a tall fence.  We have a 5 foot tall fence running around our little goat paddock.  And even then twice Milly has decided she is going to jump it!  Thankfully she seems to have forgotten she has that ability and has not done it since.  A 6-foot fence is to be preferred but make sure it is at the least not lower than 5.

*Have adequate shelter.  People laughed at me when I built my goats a little house.  But here in the Mallee we get 45 degree days in the middle of summer and during the winter we even get the odd hail storm.  And goats are smart, they are not going to stay out in horrible weather if they don’t have to.  I made my goat house out of wood and painted it with a solar-reflecting paint in order to minimize the heat inside.  Build it with corrugated iron and all you have done is make an oven for them.

 

Food and Drink

Goats are also not camera shy

*Have adequate water.  We have a big dam in our goat paddock so ours are fine but you may want a trough at the least and keep it topped up.

*Goats will not eat just anything.  They will eat most things, and not all those things are good for them.  We feed our goats the following (ration down when still young):

-Lamb pellets.  Calf pellets will work as well.  2 cups per goat every second day.

-Lucerne.  A small butt every second day (alternate with the pellets).

-Weeds.  This is where your goats are useful!  Anything you don’t wanna throw on the compost heap throw to your goats and the majority of the time they will love it!  They love roses and rose trimmings in particular.  They won’t eat all plants and if fed enough will happily shun what their instincts tell them is no good for them.

*Provide a salt lick.  Not a major necessity if they have a good diet but I find having one in there gives me piece of mind, knowing the goats can go have some if anything in their diet is lacking.

 

Exercise

Not what is usually meant by ‘kids playground’

*Have materials for the goats to climb on and to wear their hooves down.  Goats are smart and smart creatures need stuff to do.  I propped up a fallen tree as well as built a tower out of old wooden palettes.  These serve several functions.  One is that goats love to jump and climb and it gives them exercises and lets them indulge their climbing instincts.  The other is that if goats do not have hard surfaces to wear their hooves down on the hooves keep growing.  This means they can in-grow and you need to clip them yourself which can be a real hassle.

*Take your goats for walks.  As mentioned, our goats will follow us around like dogs and taking them for a walk means it breaks up their routine and you get some extra bonding time with them.

 

Other Tips & Troubleshooting

Car theft by Goat: One of the lesser known crimes

*Goats will ruin trees and plants.  I had a few low trees around my dam, they are well and truly gone now. If the goats get into your garden they will try and eat everything.

*These goats will be your pets. This means you need to pat them and talk to them daily just like you would any other pet.

*Do not overfeed your goats.  They will graze and you then supplement that with things like lucerne and pellets. If you give them a ton of pellets every day they will develop stomach issues.

*Be careful with little (human) kids.  Be careful with your own eyes too.  Unless you dehorn your goats it means they have two long big prongs sticking out of their forehead.  If your goats are affectionate they will like to rub up against you.  This means if your kids are small or you are bending over, there is a danger of a horn in the eye – not a pleasant experience.

*Be careful with other animals.  Once goats are a certain size, unless it’s a pack of wild dogs nothing is going to bother them.  Goats are more than capable of seeing off a fox or solitary dog.  Sadly this can mean that your pet dog (we have a Shetland Sheepdog who is very submissive by nature) might end up on the wrong end a butting goat if it gets too close and is perceived as a threat.

*Goats really love to climb.  Combine this with being naturally inquisitive and I’ve had to shoo them off the bonnet of my ute more times than I can count and even had them all over my kids play equipment and our patio table!

 

And that’s pretty much it.  Goats can make beautiful, loving, well-natured pets and can be lots of fun!  Just make sure you have enough space for them and know what you are getting in to before you bring those cute little kids home – they sure do grow!

Love between man and goat – a lot more innocent than it sounds

 

Got any comments or extra tips to add to the above?  Would love to read them in the comments section below!

Ozformer Member of the Year – Acceptance Speech

(For those not familiar with the Ozformers website, some of the guys on there and I had been running a joke campaign, parodying the US election, for me to become Member of the Year.  Well I actually won!  So to continue the parody here is my acceptance speech, very reminiscent of one spoken by a certain new world leader)

Looks like General Patton, sounds like Donald Trump

Thank you. Thank you very much, everyone.

I’ve just received a call from Site-Administrator Griffin.

He congratulated us — it’s about us — on our victory, and I congratulated him on a very, very hard-fought campaign. I mean, Griffin has worked very long and very hard over a long period of time, and we owe him a major debt of gratitude for his service to our website. I mean that very sincerely.

Now it’s time for Ozformers to bind the wounds of division; have to get together. To all Trevolutionaries and Griffincrats and Paulbotents across this fanbase, I say it is time for us to come together as one united people. It’s time. I pledge to every user of our land that I will be Member-of-the-year for all Ozformerians, and this is so important to me.

For those who have chosen not to support me in the past, of which there were a few people (Trent) I’m reaching out to you for your guidance and your help so that we can work together and unify our great website.

As I’ve said from the beginning, ours was not a campaign, but rather an incredible and great movement made up of several hard-working men (Sinnertwin, Starscream77, Jetfire_in_the_Sky and Mythirax) who love their website and want a better, brighter future for themselves and for their families.

It’s a movement comprised of Ozformerians from all gestalt-groups, generations and allegiances who want and expect our website to serve the people, and serve the people it will.

We are going to fix our inner sections and rebuild our threads, reviews, discussions and news stories. We’re going to rebuild our infrastructure, which will become, by the way, second to none. And we will put several of our people to work as we rebuild it.

We have a great fansite plan. We will double our growth and have the strongest user-base anywhere in the world. At the same time, we will get along with all other fanbases willing to get along with us. We expect to have great, great relationships. No dream is too big, no challenge is too great.

Nothing we want for our future is beyond our reach. Ozformers will no longer settle for anything less than the best.

We must reclaim our fansites destiny and dream big and bold and daring. We have to do that. We’re going to dream of things for our website and beautiful things and successful things once again.

I want to tell the world community that while we will always put Ozformers interests first, we will deal fairly with everyone, with everyone — all people and all other fansites. We will seek common ground, not hostility; partnership, not conflict.

And I can only say that while the campaign is over, our work on this movement is now really just beginning.

We’re going to get to work immediately for the Ozformer users. It’s been an amazing year-long period. And I love this fanbase.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

 

(You can read my first bid for the title HERE) 

Art Book review: Deadpool – Drawing the Merc with a Mouth

When backpacking around Europe I visited many of the world’s great art galleries.  I went to The National Gallery in London and saw Van Gogh’s Sunflowers.  I went to the Louvre in Paris and saw the Mona Lisa.  I went to the the Museo del Prado in Madrid and had my mind turned inside out by the works of Dali.  Hell, I even went to a museum in Amsterdam which seemed to house all the concrete willy’s that had been knocked off all the Italian statues during the rise of Puritism.   From great galleries to the gaudy, from museums to mausoleums I’ve seen it all.  So who better to take you through the latest collection of artwork to be released for the public’s perusal –Deadpool: Drawing the Merc with a Mouth

This book showcases over 20 years of Marvel Comics Art centered around everyone’s favorite degenerate assassin.  When I first purchased it I thought it would be nothing but pictures but the book is actually broken up into 7 main chapters (along with an opening and a conclusion) which details the creation of Deadpool and his evolution as a character both plot-wise and artistically.  There are various interviews with the people who have written Deadpool over the last 20+ years and there were some nice insights into how he was created, his surge in popularity and the very odd direction that the character was taken in.

 

But of course this is primarily an art book so we are treated to lots of eye candy throughout.  This in itself shows the evolution of Deadpool, from a guest-starring bad guy on the front cover of early 90’s comics to the present day where he has had more ongoing titles, spin-offs and team ups than one can count.

I think what I enjoyed best here was the way that the artists could use such a ridiculous and self-lampooning character such as Deadpool to in turn lampoon other genres.  From famous works of art to album covers to movie posters to even the comic covers of other super heroes (including those of DC) Deadpool brings his smart-arse style.

 

There is not much more I can say here as, since it is an art book, you really need to view the art rather than read someones opinion of it.  But what I can do is advise you whether it is worth getting.  I picked this up in a bookstore for $65(AU) and the cheapest I’ve seen it online is $56(AU) including postage.  It’s a pretty hefty price tag.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I got it and I really enjoy it, but I did have a pang of buyer’s remorse walking out of the store until I had a chance to get to grips with it at home.  To justify such an expense one needs to really be a fan of the Merc with a Mouth.  Luckily for me I am one and if you love him too (and have the cash to spare) you will really enjoy this artistic look at a few decades of Deadpool.

Meat Review – Cactus Jam in Warrnambool

When it comes to cooking, various cultures seem to have the patents on different styles.  The French have their light-on-the-stomach-yet-sinfully-rich cusine.  The Germans are masters of wrapping up huge hunks of quadruped in cabbage and roasting the hell out of it.  The Mexicans… well…. what you can usually say about Mexican food is that it’s fun to eat!

I like Mexican food, having an almost Deadpool’esque love of the food.  I’ve never actually been to Mexico so I’ve always had to deal with other countries interpretations of their food.  All the Mexican restaurants I tried in Melbourne were distinctly average.  In fact the only really good Mexican restaurant I’ve been to was in Edinburgh, Scotland.  Since that was over a decade ago I’ve been really hankering to have good Mexican again, so was eager to try the food at Cactus Jam in Warrnambool.

 

What’s the best way to sum up the food at Cactus Jam?  Oh yeah – you could cook it better at home!  I’m a decent cook so I expect when I go to a restaurant that, since they are professionals, they should cook better than I.  I’m always disappointed when I walk away from a meal thinking ‘I could have cooked that’ or even worse ‘I could have cooked that much better!’. 

In Australia we get a glut of American television and it seems to be a recurring joke on sitcoms that most restaurants, be they Italian, French or whatever that they actually have a bunch of Mexicans working in the kitchen.  Well, Cactus Jam could have used a few actual Mexicans in their kitchen cooking the actual Mexican food.  Like the German Hofbrauhaus in Melbourne, I don’t think anyone of that nationality has ever stepped foot in the place (for my review of that restaurant – see HERE).

 

I tried the Carne Con Chile Colarado.  I love Chili Con Carne but never get to cook it at home anymore as the rest of the family isn’t keen on it, so was looking forward to bowl of restaurant quality tucker.  What I got tasted exactly like those Stagg Chili cans you buy for 3 bucks at Coles.  And I mean exactly!  Which means either you are getting brilliant value at Coles or else Cactus Jam did a shit job.  Because it was Colarado-style (which meant essentially a US-bastardized version of Mexican food) there were no beans in it at all, and though the beef was supposed to be slow-cooked, it didn’t taste anything special.  I’ve made better, and I’m sure with minimal effort you could too.

Believe it or not – this is the meal, not the diarrhea of the previous customer though the taste equates to the same.

 

My wife got the Chicken and Beef Fajitas.  At least these came with two types of meat and lots of different side foods and sauces to apply so they were fun to make.  That’s about it for all the positives you can say about it.  Much like the their Chili tasting like a can of Stagg, these tasted like the chefs just grabbed a bunch of Old El Paso packs from the supermarket and took their cues from there.    You could make these at home no sweat and probably better than Cactus Jam did.

Mexican Flag equals authentic Mexican Food… apparently.

 

Mexican Beers

At least the restaurant seemed to have a few authentic Mexican beers on the drinks list, even if they seemed to pick the shittiest ones.  Mexican beer is like Mexican food, it doesn’t have a stellar reputation but it is possible to get good stuff.  I tried the Cave Creek Chili Beer.  I’ve had Chili Beer before (to see me drinking it along with 15 different Hot Sauces see my video HERE) and know it’s not the tastiest but decided to give this a go as it had an actual chili floating in it which I thought was very cool!

Worst.  Beer.  Ever!  I mean it – it was quite literally worst beer I have ever drunk in my life!  It was filthy!  It made the Dos Equis Larger I had next (a decidedly average beer) taste like manna from heaven in comparison.

 

So worth going to Cactus Jam?

No.  No its not.  The food is crap, you could cook better at home or at the very least make food its equal out of a can or pack.  They have Mexican beers but seemed to stock up on all the shittiest ones.  The only thing you could say about the place is that you don’t have to do the dishes – but I don’t think that warrants the expensive price tag.  Mexican?  More like Mexican’t!  Heh – I wonder if I’m the first person to think of that pun? Probably not but I’m proud of it!

 

Eaten there and have a different opinion?  Tell us in the comments below.

Tourist Spot Review – Cheeseworld

Multiverse theory states that if it is possible for a world to exist then somewhere it must exist. That there are many parallel universes to our own, consisting of worlds different than that on which we live.

Consider Cheeseworld – a world comprised entirely of cheese.  What would we find there?  Would the moon indeed be made of cheese?  Would the Earth be made out of a Hard Dry Jack for the various cheese creatures to walk and graze upon.  Imagine if you will herds of majestic Goat and Yak cheeses grazing under the Peppercon cheddar trees by a flowing river of Runny Blue.

Would the people there have the different nationalities that we have?  Would there be the Swiss Cheese people?  Would the American Cheese people be policing the rest of Cheeseworld?  Would the Regal Blend which is headed by the Red Windsor stand proud in the nation of Aged English Cheddar?

Would people worship the great Gouda in the sky?

 

I set out in search of the mythical Cheeseworld, the entrance to which was rumored to be found at the end of the Great Ocean Road in Victoria, Australia.  My thoughts chased themselves in circles and my hands visibly shook at the idea of finding an inter-dimensional portal through which I may enter this world of cheese and explore a strange and alien new land.

Instead I found a tourist stop in Allansford consisting of a café, cheese shop and little museum.

Worst. Interdimensional Portal. Ever.

No cheese people.  Not even people dressed up as cheese characters!  No Tommy Nooka from the Mighty Boosh with his cheese head or Montgomery Jack from Rescue Rangers.  The walls are made of brick instead of brie.  I come to the sad conclusion that this will not be a grand adventure into the unknown but decide to make the best of it.

 

Cheeseworld consists of a café, which has distinctly average food (though the Cheeseworld Cheeseburger is excellent – read the review HERE).  Next to this is a little shop area which has one isle of cheese related products such as cheese boards and cheese slicers but the rest is made up of the usual touristy crap they sell people from overseas on coach tours.  Behind this is the proper cheese area.  There is a tasting bar with 5 types of cheese on offer and a fridge along the back row with quite a decent selection of cheeses to choose from.  My wife stopped my purchasing of the Buffalo’s Milk Cheese but I did get away with purchasing some Wild Wasabi Cheese which has a real bite and goes well with beer.  We also picked up some of the Warrnambool Heritage Creamy Colby that had been damn nice from the tasting area as well as Lochard Camembert.  They also sold a lot of foods that go well with cheese such as kabana, various German sausages and of course wine.

 

Behind Cheeseworld is the Cheese Museum.  Some of the equipment showed how they made cheese in the days of yesteryear while a lot of the other stuff was just the same as I have out behind my shed – old farming tools they had salvaged and put up on the wall.

How the cavemen used to make cheese

 

So is Cheeseworld worth visiting?

Look, it aint great.  The café is pretty crap and for a place called Cheeseworld you would expect something… well… more cheesy (but in a good way).  Most vineyards put on a better show and I don’t know of any that call themselves Wineworld.  But if you are driving along the Great Ocean Road or, like us, having a little holiday in close-by Warrnambool then it’s a distraction for half an hour.

Burger Review #3: The Cheeseworld Cheeseburger

One could reasonably expect that a place that names themselves ‘Cheeseworld’ would be capable of a decent Cheeseburger.  Otherwise they have no business naming themselves as such – rather they should name themselves ‘Mediocreworld’ or ‘Processeddairyworld’ or something.

Luckily for them, Cheeseworld won’t have to rename itself any time soon.

 

This was a pretty damn tasty cheeseburger!  In fact perhaps the best cheeseburger I have ever eaten!  It was quite simplistic but then I believe part of its flavor came from its simplicity, much the way a pizza you  eat in actual Italy with only a few toppings tastes so much better than one you have in Aus.  You know, with 50 different toppings with their competing flavors overwhelming the taste-buds.  The Cheeseworld Cheeseburger consisted of a juicy, thick brown beef patty complimented with a combination of thick, creamy mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato relish (though I opted out of that – good on them for actually letting customers modify their burger) and some soft fresh buns.  But what made this a brilliant cheeseburger was indeed the cheese.

Oh the cheesy-beefy goodness!

Above the patty was a slice of cheese whilst just below it was grated cheese.  Both different varieties of Coon (for our overseas readers that is the name of a cheese brand here in Australia – yes I know they should change it but overseas comedians have a great time with the concept every time they visit here.  Just watch the last half dozen appearances of Stephen K Amos on Spicks’n’Specks [another name that could use a more politically correct moniker]).  And it was these two cheeses, both very slightly melted from the beef patty, that made this burger great.   The whole thing was tasty, flavorful, had excellent texture and with a side of chips was reasonably priced.  Not the fanciest cheeseburger on the planet but certainly the tastiest I have sampled – well done!

 

Whilst on the subject of the Cheeseworld café menu, let’s look at the opposite end. They had home-made large pies on the menu but dissapointingly were sold out so I tried their ‘Home-made Beef & Pork steamed Dim Sims’.  These looked great; huge and plump and a bargain at $1.80 each.  I ordered 3 thinking the family could share them – my wife and son like beef well enough but my daughter, who is not yet two, has developed a taste for pork that rivals my own!

Smelled like encased animal droppings – tasted about the same.

How can I sum up these Dim Sims?  Worst.  Dimmies.  Ever!  Absolutely disgusting!  It was like they had accidentally knocked half a jar of raw cumin into the mix and hadn’t noticed.  My wife tried a bite and gave me almost the exact same response my brother-in-law did when I was trying the 1.5kg pork challenge at Hofbrauhaus a few months ago: ‘No, that’s disgusting!  Don’t eat that – you’ll be sick!’  A buck eighty a piece and I still felt ripped off, so awful that even when I subsequently covered them with soy sauce I couldn’t even finish one.

 

So, when travelling along the Great Ocean Road, if you happen to stop at Cheeseworld I heartily recommend the Cheeseworld Cheeseburger.  I don’t recommend the Dimmies unless you enjoy something that tastes like buckshot mixed with entrails.

The big push for the Decagon!

Note: For those Blog readers who are unaware, Ozformers is the Australian site for Transformer Fans and is actually the longest running such site in the world!  I’ve been peddling my entertaining brand of bullshit on there for many’s a year and it was in part the enjoyment I experienced writing on there that made me start my own blog.  Every year they have a vote for the Ozformer member of the year (which always ends up being the website owner Griffin) but some fellow site users have been campaigning on my behalf for the last twelve months.  The following is me trying to give them value for their humorous perseverance.

OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

Offices of Big Transformer Trev, candidate for Ozformer Member of the Year

My fellow Ozformer members,

while I have been busy with other matters of state it seems the pro/con Trev debate has heated up in my absence.  So let me now as your candidate address the issue that concern you, the public, whom I am here to serve.

 

*The Current Incumbent:   Now Griffin is indeed the owner, administrator and general Grand Poobah of Ozformers.  There is not a member here that does not acknowledge this or is not grateful to him for providing this wonderful site for us all to enjoy.  But ask yourselves, on top of the myriad of time-consuming responsibilities he already has, is it fair to once again heap the duties associated with being Ozformer Member of the Year on his already overburdened shoulders?  I think not.  Let the poor fellow get on with what he does best and let someone handle all the public appearances, kissing babies, wining and dining foreign toy dignitaries etc that the winner of the Ozzies is expected to do.

*Why a new representative?  Well for a start, if you vote me in you will be getting a celebrity to be the face of Ozformers.  Remember, look in the background of any Australian-made, Melbourne-based tv cop show from the late 90’s (Blue Heelers, Halifax FP, Stingers, Good Guys Bad Guys etc) and you will see me milling around in the background as an extra.  Star power or what! Frankly if it wasn’t for my well-known hatred of Reality TV I’m sure I’d have been asked to appear on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! by now.  And of course most recently I’m known in print, television and social media as the guy who photographed a dead snake. 

 

BTT’s POLICIES

Sensible policies for a happier future

*By the year 2020 no child will be living without Transformer toys

*There will be two Stunticons in every garage

*Full series Box Sets of Rescue Bots to be produced by Madman Entertainment

*Once a year on the solstice all Ozformers will come together on my farm to build a giant straw effigy of Michael Bay, which we will then set alight while we chant and dance naked around it under the moon

Policies from my failed attempt to become PM:

*I will make Hasbro and Takara release ALL Transformer related products in Australia.

*No GST on imported goods!  This is a SHAMEFUL policy that both sides of parliament are currently trying to enact!  They say it’s so that you will buy locally instead of buying your goods from overseas via the internet, but what if…

-A: You live in a rural area where you cannot purchase the items you require at your local store?  Most Aussie companies charge ruinous postal fees to send you an item, you often pay more in postage to get something from Melbourne than from the other side of the globe!  Last I checked, my little bush town doesn’t have any of the big chains I can go to and get anything I require.

-B: They don’t make and/or sell the item you want in Australia at all?  For those with their eye a Carnifex figure, I don’t think you’ll be buying one at your local K-Mart.  There are many products that are sold nowhere in this wide brown land of ours, its not a matter of not wanting to shop locally – we can’t! 

 

ENDORSEMENTS

So the choice is clear my Ozformer Brethren (and Sistren of course).  Vote #1 Big Transformer Trev this Ozformer awards.  Sure I might be not the most obvious candidate, or the most fragrant, or the most sane if it comes to that.  But just listen to these uncoerced endorsements from  fellow Ozformer members:

SINNERTWIN

Sensible, Mature, Responsible… These aren’t words that anyone can use to describe Trev, and nobody should. That would be lying, and lying is bad for the soul.

Don’t lie to yourselves. Vote 1. Vote Trev.

BTT 2016. 

 

STARSCREAM77

The following has been authorised and paid for by the BTT416 Campaign:

In Trev We Trust

Not just a throw away line but a creed we as the followers of the great man, BTT, choose to live our life by. If ever we have doubts in life we ask ourselves ‘what would Trev do?’ and the correct answer presents itself.

If we do not do the moral and ethical must that is vote BTT for 2016 then I question the entire fibre of life itself!

Yours faithfully

SS77

 

JETFIRE_IN_THE_SKY

 “Anyone who doesn’t vote for BTT is a cheese eating surrender monkey”

 

And of course MYTHIRAX whose myriad of fantastic pro-Trev fan art can be viewed HERE!

 

I look forward to your vote this January.