As a rule if a dish has a manly name like ‘Tradie’, ‘Truckie’ or ‘Bomb’ then it’s going to be something yours truly is going to want to shove in his gob! Why? Well besides desperately trying to hide ones insecurities from the world by appearing macho and gruff on the outside, hiding the wobbly, gelatin-like persona within, it usually means there is going to be lots of MEAT!
On a recent state-crossing trip I had occasion to drop in to three different cafe’s which had foodstuffs like those described above on their menu. So lets examine them and see if they were worth this weary traveller’s mastication.
The TRADIE Burger
Location: Gray St Café, Swan Hill, VIC
Despite the blokey name this came across as a pretty standard, average burger. Cheese, lettuce, egg, bacon, tomato, sauce – the patty was sausage mince with carrot throughout which was kinda different. No onion which was a shame. It was nice that they will change the fillings based on your predilections (I went with two friends; one didn’t want bacon, another didn’t want egg, I didn’t want tomato) but it all came across as something that you could buy most anywhere. If these burgers were boobs they would be B-cups – certainly enough there to sate your appetite, but leaving you wishing there had been more to them. Not really recommended.
The TRUCKIE Burger
Location: Balfours Cafe, Birkenhead, SA
Now we are talking more of a burger! The usual lettuce, tomato, sauce, onion, egg etc but then double meat, double cheese and double bacon! And by Primus the amount of bacon – they easily could have referred to it as quadruple bacon! The amount of oil dripping off this burger was a bit disturbing, the wrapper felt like I could use it to grease myself up and then toboggan on my gut down the nearest freeway. But you know what, after eating what felt like half a pigs worth of crispy goodness I was feeling sexy enough to try! Happily recommended.
The MALLEE BOMB!
Location: Cobb & Co Café, Murrayville, VIC/SA border
I ordered this thinking it was a lamb burger, but when it arrived it turned out to be some sort of weird dissected souvlaki. Chips covered with Mallee Lamb, with cheese, fried onion and garlic sauce drizzled all over the thing! Chuck a few bits of pita bread on top and yeah, it looks like a souvlaki had a bomb implanted in it which subsequently burst on your plate, leaving it’s yummy innards splayed upon the ceramic battlefield. I will say that they were not mucking about when they said they were using Mallee Lamb – this was really top quality meat! Very tender and succulent indeed, you will walk away from the table feeling fit to burst – the sign of a damn fine meal! Highly recommended!