A full 20 years ago my girlfriend (now wife) and I were backpacking Europe and living predominately in London.  And like many young Aussie backpackers, we were grateful for the free TNT magazines you could pick up at tube stations (yes folks, these were the days before smartphones).

In TNT magazine they had a weekly forum competition; each week they would pose a question and encourage readers to write in with a 350 word answer.  The two winning answers would be published and the winners would recieve a prize, usually tied in some fashion to either Australia, New Zealand or South Africa (those being the predominent populations of backpackers in London back then).

One week the prize was a crate full of packets of Tim Tam’s, a much beloved Aussie chocolate bikkie.  When my girlfriend read what the prize was she pointed to the competition page and said very matter-of-factly ‘Win that for me’.  I still remember her tone of voice when saying it – there was no ‘try and win it’ or ‘think you could win it?’.  It was very factual, as though if I wrote in that the foregone conclusion would be those sought after chocolately delights would most certainly be hers – it was kinda touching she had that much faith in my writing ability so early in our relationship.

Well, I wrote in as instructed, answering the question “Are men becoming redundant?’ and yep, I won.  So my girlfriend and a bunch of our Aussie female friends were in Tim Tam heavan for a week!

A fortnight ago, we were cleaning out our wardrobe and came across a box of keepsakes from our backpacking days.  Opened it up and lo and behold – there was an copy of the TNT issue my answer was in!

So enjoy reading the work of Young Backpacker Trev, as he earns his girl some chokkies.

 

Transcript:

In a world of artificial insemination, single sex relationships and rather interestingly shaped marital aids, the prospect of men becoming redundant seems possible.  But ask yourself – do you want this?

We men, proud hunters from the dawn of time, are not ready to be discounted just yet.  Can a vibrator change a lightbulb?  Not likely.  Do all lesbians want to know how to change the oil in the lawn mower?  Probably not.  Can a test tube kill that big, hairy spider in the bath tub?  Perhaps, but you’d have to be a really good shot, and I don’t facy cleaning up afterwards.

And what about the value of the father?  Men are needed to teach their sons the skills that will get them through life – how to catch a football, how to shoot peas from your nose, how to impress a girl by burping all 26 letters of the alphabet.  And, most importantly, fathers are needed to keep other males away from their daughters.  We know what’s on their minds.

In short ladies, you need us.  We unblock your drains, lift your heavy objects and check what the creepy nooise downstairs is.  Women can do most everything a man can, but wouldn’t you rather have us do it?  We may smell, shed hair and leave messes around the house, but so does a dog and everyone seems to like them.

Besides, we love you, and wouldn’t you rather hear that from us than from sperm in a cup?