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Random Reviews

Concert Review – Weird Al: Ill-Advised Vanity Tour

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Weird Al is easily the most beloved comedic singer of all time.  One of only four artists in history that has managed to have a Top 40 hit four decades running (the others being U2, Michael Jackson & Madonna), his enduring popularity and relatively clean material means that adults and kids alike have been enjoying his music for nearly half a century!

Well, Weird Al has been touring once again with his self-deprecatingly titled show ‘The Ill-Advised Vanity Tour’ and luckily for residents of the land down under, this tour has included Australia.

My son is as big a Weird Al fan as I, so what better to be the first concert of a 10-year old than to see the funny man in person, which we did at the Enmore Theatre.

 

Originals – Yes, Parodies – No

Weird Al is best known for his parodies of other singers works, but chose to leave them out of this tour, instead focusing on his original songs (of which he has written over 90).  Whilst this was somewhat of a disappointment for those for whom songs like Fat or Foil are favourites, it meant that for many of us we were hearing some of his lesser known songs for the first time which was a treat indeed.

Still kickin it at 63

Despite the fact he looks much younger (he practices a level of clean living I could never attain) Weird Al is now in his mid sixties.  When first entering the stage he did a high kick that would make the most stringent Karate master proud… and then sat down.  For the rest of the show Weird Al and his band, also getting on in years, stayed seated with just some thrashing of the heads.  Whilst this took away somewhat from the spectacle of the show, it did not detract overall and Al’s voice has lost nothing over the years – he could still belt out the hardest rock with an intensity that would rip my vocal cords apart.  Lighting was used to excellent effect, adding some much needed visual appeal.

The Sound

Perhaps the one disappointment of the show.  Either side of the stage were huge walls of speakers.  Whether they were aging themselves so not as crisp sounding, or simply were cranked too high, the volume was such that there were a few songs where you simply couldn’t understand what Al was singing.  Hopefully this is something they can rectify for future shows.  The volume was that intense that at one point I could feel myself getting a headache and my son was covering his ears with his hands, despite us being a full 20 rows back from the stage.

Live Show Review: An Evening With Henry Rollins

Bringing down the house!

Despite these few quibbles, the last 3rd of the show really kicked buttock!  Al finished off his main set with an even longer version of ‘Albuquerque’, a song of his that I had never cared for but that night had me in hysterics!  This was followed by a most surprising encore: first Weird Al sang Paul Simon’s ‘You can call me Al’ – and no it wasn’t a parody, he just sang the song.  It would be the first time in 40 years I’ve heard Weird Al sing a straight cover of another performers song and he did it quite well.

This was followed by a huge pastiche of bits of Al’s own parody songs (such as Amish Paradise) along with snippets of other songs like ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ – garnering him and his band a standing ovation from an appreciative crowd.

 

Other attendee’s reactions:

David from Sydney

It’s always a massive joy to see one of your favourite performers live, and it’s even more enjoyable when they surprise you! A really unusual selection of songs and bits of banter that reminded us all that Al has a hugely wide range, and just doing parodies isn’t his jam. sometimes you need to play a full set of your own weird idiosyncratic numbers that some folks may not know as well. but still showcase the bizarre brain of the man himself…  The Pre-show set of Emo Phillips was a weird throwback to an older style of comedy that is both timeless and at the same time strangely dated.  It therfore felt even weirder when making up to the minute gags about Russia and American foreign policy along side “kill my wife” that could have been from the 60s, 80s or 90s….  

It was a great show, but the band and Al himself are definitely showing their age.  A little less running around the stage, a little more 3 guys on stools playing great technically brilliant music.

I would have been happy to have seen any show, but “funny feeling you don’t love me anymore” is one of my all-time faves so it made me very happy that i got that one on my night. Oh and the dada-ist poem and rhythmic chanting in the end was a piece of pure magic!

 

Orion from Rural NSW

It was a really good concert, Weird Al sang ‘Albuquerque’ really well.  I liked how he would say every berry donut they probably ever made in it. He mixed up lots of his parody choruses in one bit for the encore.

 

Jamie from Sydney

Weird Al Yankovic was such a joy to see in person! Performing at his very weirdest, he put on a show that included such dubious classics as “Dare to Be Stupid”, “Don’t Download This Song” and “The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota”. Demonstrating his phenomenal range, he performed some of his songs in different styles, including a Reggae cover of Word Crimes. Friends of mine went to the show the next night and got a completely different set – I know I’ll be buying tickets for both nights if I’m lucky enough to see him again!

 

Aaron from Perth

I think the show itself was pretty dang great. Biases aside Al is still extremely funny, and he and his band legitimately rock on stage. Admittedly the sound system wasn’t the best so during many of the songs it was difficult to understand any of the lyrics, which could hurt the enjoyment of any songs that I or other audience members aren’t intimately familiar with.

That said, the songs I didn’t know I enjoyed which was only a few, and he also played a few of my all time favourites of his (including a style altered version of my absolute childhood favourite). And the finale was a mind bending spectacle I couldn’t have seen coming.

Less to do with the show itself, but I did find the audience a tad underwhelming, it seemed barely anyone was reacting most of the time in contract to my family and I headbanging along with Sue for instance (and that’s not to mention the one guy that wouldn’t stop yelling “Albuquerque”).

All in all, a fun experience that my family and I loved.

 

Brendan from Sydney

Finally after being a fan of his for so long, I got the chance to see him in concert. And it was no disappointment. A great artist with alot of music out there, parodies and his own. Both are great.

 

Did you see Weird Al live in concert?  What did you think?  Feel free to pop your thoughts in the comments section below!

Random Reviews, Tales of the Trev

Theatre Review – Murder at Aunt Agatha’s

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The pandemic has put a dampener on live music and theatre over the last few years, with the industry only now beginning to recover and live entertainment making its way onto our stages once again.

Thankfully, we’ve managed to get some of this entertainment out here in the countryside too.  And thus this December we were treated to the Twin Town Players performance of ‘Murder at Aunt Agatha’s’.

Murder at Aunt Agatha’s is one of those classic who-dunnit plays, where all the characters are gathered in one house for the reading of a will.  And in classic style, those characters keep getting murdered, both keeping the audience entertained and leading them to speculate on which character the murderer could be!

This production of Aunt Agatha starred many locals from the Rylstone and Kandos area, and was directed by the talented Ms. Cathy Heap.  Spanning 4 days, the Rylstone Hall was packed with people eager to watch some live theatre once again.  So lets work our way through the characters and the talented actors that brought them to life upon the stage.

 

The Earl Family

A comedic ‘nerd’ family, made up of a Mother (played by Rachelle Connellan), Father (Roger Heap – its rumoured that he got the role by sleeping with the director!), Daughter (Phillipa Kilminister) & Son (Ryan Gallaher).  These characters are some of the few that have any brains in the play, though not a lot of common sense.  The younger actors wore headsets in order to be heard by the audience and the family unit received lots of chuckles, before being unceremoniously killed en masse by poisoned ink.

The Vamvleet Family

Posh with a side of dark sheep.  Mrs. Margaret Vanvleet (played by Leanne Bessant) and her daughter Alexandra (Kyrstal Thorn) are high society types that look down upon those around them, including their own relations.  Leanne played a fantastic Margaret, a character prone to dramatically fainting, whilst Krystal shone as the petulant, spoiled Alexandra, always threatening to leave if it wasn’t for the money.  Margaret’s other son, Reggie Vamvleet (Isabelle Furner/Big Angry Trev) is the black sheep of the family, fresh out of jail he turns up hoping for some inheritance money, spending his time either insulting everybody or sleazily flirting with some of the female characters.  Isabelle played Reggie in a very ‘Fonzie’ style whereas the other actor, well… we will come to that later.  Margaret meets her end via poisoned moonshine, Alexandra meets her end via a cliff and oddly Reggie is one of the few characters to survive.

The McSwine Family

Cousins, disturbing cousins…

Relatives of the snooty Vamvleets, these are the quintessential hillbillies which makes for a funny juxtaposition between the two family branches, played out over several scenes.  The mother Mrs. Katie Mae McSwine (played by Owain James) and her three daughters (Emily Gallaher, Jess Gallaher & Janine Maw) are all extremely funny on stage and tick all the stereotype hillbilly boxes such as loving Elvis, drinking moonshine, winning spitting contests and, most disturbingly, having a crush on their cousin.  And with the experienced thespian Owain dressed as the matriarch, that old tradition of men dressing up as women on stage was kept alive.  The three daughters, all of whom were involved with the KHS production of Pricilla earlier in the year, came across very relaxed on stage and maintained character extremely well – it will be interesting to see their progression as actors in future theatricals.

The Movie Star & her Agent

Sounds like something out of Gilligan’s Island, but no.  Gina Starlet (Mary Boxsell) and her long-suffering agent Maxie (Anne Attwood) have shown up looking for a share in the inheritance.  Mary plays the faded-starlet character beautifully, and she and Anne share the most dramatic death scene in the entire play.  The two of them choking to death earned a huge roar of approval and round of applause on the third night of the play, their dramatics delighting the appreciative crowd!

The Evil Siblings

The dastarly domestic staff in the front row

Bridgett (played by Kirilee Besant) and Hildegard (Ryan Attwood) were in the service of Aunt Agatha and are now hoping to scare off all the relatives so that they can get the cash for themselves.  These are some of the more in-depth characters portrayed in the show – they are siblings but are pretending to be twin sisters rather than brother & sister, despite the fact that Bridgett talks with a French accent and her ‘sister’ talks with a German one.  Part of the humour is that Hildegard really does look like a man in a dress, and for most of the play he seems the most obvious suspect to be the murderer.  Ryan did a very funny and over-the-top rendition of Hildegard, and boy can that boy scream!  Kirilee was fantastic as Bridgett, and would often improvise stage movements, like roughly shoving away the lecherous Reggie at random times, or fixing the blankets on the couch playing to the French Maid theme of her character.

The Lawyer, Aunt Agatha, Police & Prompter

Taking on multiple roles can be tough, but Chantelle Williams did it seamlessly.  Chantelle provided the voice for Aunt Agatha’s recordings, as well as coming on in the last scene to arrest the murderer.  Perhaps even more importantly, she was the prompter on side of stage, providing much needed help whenever anyone would forget a line.  Full credit should also be given to Willow Connellan who was a dynamo backstage as well!

Willima Cleanyou, played by Belinda Innes, is Aunt Agatha’s laywer and is a very strong and stern character, showing the most authority in the play before the Detective enters.  Belinda’s performance of this embezzling lawyer was flawless, never missing a beat!

The Leading Man & Lady

Two of the stand-out performances of the show were by Emily Gardiner, playing Rose Bloom, and actor of stage & screen Blake Prosser, playing Detective Sam Club.  Rose is an overtly sweet character who is not all she appears, hiding the deviousness within, and managing to initially charm Sam.  Sam himself is a hard-talking, no-nonsense gumshoe who turns up just before the end of Act 1, and his striving to find the killer is one of the main plot motivators for the second half of the show.  Rose likes everyone whereas Sam suspects everyone, so naturally these two disparate characters develop an attraction for each other, even if it is short lived.  Like Bridgett & Hildegard, these are two characters that are more fleshed out than most of the others, giving the actors a chance to display a range of emotions rather than simply playing a one-dimensional role, and both Emily and Blake were up to the task, delighting audiences with their performances night after night.

The Ghosts

5 local children – Allison George, Ellaria Jonkers, Ashton Thorn, India Jonkers & Ryder Robinson – played the Ghosts of Aunt Agatha, interjecting some welcome cuteness into a play that is otherwise all about murder and self-interested characters.  The ghosts come on stage twice during the production, and the audience loved it every time!

 

And, er, the other guy…

If you don’t know the lines, just move around a lot

Yes dear readers, Big Angry Trev did strut the stage again, and strut is probably the best way to describe it – what I lacked in script-knowledge I made up in swagger.

Unfortunately the actor playing Reggie was sick for 3 of the 4 shows so I had to step in at the last minute and play the role.  And it was very last minute – I didn’t meet the cast until an hour before showtime, didn’t get a chance for a single run through and said the lines out loud for the first time during the opening show!  Despite having script in hand I still forgot a lot of lines and a lot of cues, so thankfully the rest of the cast were good at subtly prompting me or prodding me in the right direction.

It t’wernt me gov!

Reggie is a sod of a character, which made him a lot of fun to play!  That said, all the horrible insulting things I had to say to Krystal, Emily, Jess & Janine, as well as the sleazy pick-up lines I had to use on Kirilee & Emily, made me cringe a little inside at times.  But I found that there was a certain liberation with having been to no rehearsals – no one could get mad at me for missing cues and lines because I was stepping in last second, and I could pretty make up what the character Reggie was like as I went along – by the 3rd show I was swaggering around the stage, walking almost crotch-first, busting out insults and pervy comments right, left & centre.  All in for some reason a slightly cockney accent.  It was great fun!  Full cred to the girls for getting their revenge though, Kirilee’s character was shoving mine a lot more than the script called for.  And the cousins Emily, Jess & Janine enjoyed tormenting me/my character with overly-theatrical sniffing and plucking of head hairs – it was all I could do to not to burst out laughing on stage!

Live Show Review: An Evening With Henry Rollins

Community Theatre at it’s best!

Teachers & students from the local High School

Part of the joy of community theatre is that it really is made up of members of the local community.  This means instead of a bunch of egotistic actors all coming together in order to practice their art and further their careers, it’s regular folk from the local towns who have decided to put on a fun show.  Murder at Aunt Agatha’s cast and crew were made up of husbands & wives, mothers & offspring and even 3 siblings from the one family!  It also put everyone on a level playing field, there were 6 students and 3 staff from the local High School and it was pleasant to see how these teens and adults interacted with each other as peers, any pre-existing power dynamics from school now non-existent.

This all made for a warm and convivial atmosphere and this came out backstage, on stage and with the casts interactions with the audience, which every night consisted of a sea of smiles.

Full credit to the cast and crew for putting on a fantastic show! I heartily look forward to watching the next production by the Twin Town Players.  And who knows, maybe they’ll need another sleazy cockney guy to show up at the last second again to join in with the fun!

Random Reviews

Labor’s Victory Karaoke Party goes very Wrong

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For only the 4th time since World War 1, Labor has ousted the Liberal party in order to claim victory in a Federal Election. 

Given Labor’s relative inexperience with winning, it is unsurprising that their victory party was not as polished at it could have been. 

For a report on the evenings events, we once again turn to our ace journalist – Pastor Fazool – to report on the story: 

Sources have confirmed that the Australian Labor Party’s post-election victory party took an awkward turn on Sunday evening, once it became Member for Maribymong and former Opposition Leader Bill Shorten’s turn to pick the next song on the karaoke machine.

‘I should be so lucky!’

Both the mood and the music had been upbeat until this point, with rousing renditions of iconic victory anthems such as Queen’s “We Are the Champions”, Kool and the Gang’s “Celebration”, and of course a mix of Aussie classics such as “You’re the Voice” and “Working Class Man”, the latter being specially dedicated to Prime Minister-elect Anthony Albanese. Eyebrows were somewhat raised at Kristina Keneally’s choice of “Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves” given that she had not in fact actually Done It For Herself, instead losing the traditionally-Labor seat of Fowler to Independent challenger Dai Le. However, everyone agreed that Tanya Plibersek and Katy Gallagher’s stirring duet of Tina Turner’s “(Simply the) Best” was extremely uplifting, topped only by Penny Wong’s perfectly pitched (if perhaps slightly ungracious) delivery of Steam’s 1969 one-hit wonder “Na Na Na Na Hey Hey-ey Goodbye”. Hero of the night ‘DJ Albo’ was, naturally, in his element, and a good time was being had by all….

…until, that is, it was Bill’s turn to pick the next song.

While Opposition Leader in 2019, Mr Shorten chose to embark on a ‘big-target’, ‘optimism’-based election campaign, featuring a forward-looking policy platform of ambitious(-ish) action on climate change, massively boosted funding for health and hospitals (which may have come in handy during the massive worldwide plague that was to follow the very next year), and, perhaps most controversially, ever-so-slightly winding back a number of the extremely generous concessions tailored almost-exclusively towards rich property-investor Baby Boomers such as negative gearing and franking credits. This proved to be no match for then-Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s ‘policy-free’ approach of ‘hiding your entire frontbench from the public’, ‘calling the other guy childish nicknames’ and ‘just plain making shit up’, aided and abetted as it was by massive free advertising campaigns from both Clive Palmer’s United Australia Party and the 80% of Australia’s media landscape owned by News Corp, Nine, and Seven Media Holdings. Mr Shorten subsequently lead his team to lose the so-called ‘unlosable election’, with Mr Morrison enjoying a landslide victory of a single-seat lower-House majority. Under Mr Albanese, in contrast, Labor opted for a small-target strategy, and at present count is believed to be on track for a similar landslide as Mr Morrison three years earlier.

The Secret Post-Election Liberal’s Meeting

It should probably not have come as a surprise, then, when upon being handed the touchpad, a drunken Bill Shorten immediately opted for a rather more…poignant number. And so, before any of his colleagues could cry out “For the love of Sonny, No!”, Mr Shorten was passionately-but-off-keyedly belting out the chorus of Cher’s 1989 smash hit “If I Could Turn Back Time”.

It is presently unknown if Mr Shorten’s bar tab from the night was actually the Bill He Could Not Afford. Mr Albanese has however confirmed that as Prime Minister, if he could reach the stars he would indeed give them all to you.

 

Thank you Pastor for that fascinating report. 

 

Note: The above article is fictitious and written for satirical purposes only.  Thank you to Pastor Falzool for submitting his humorous take on the 2022 election results. 

Vote #1 – Big Angry Trev for PM!

 

Random Reviews

Movie Review – Ghostbusters: Afterlife

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Ghostbusters fans aren’t as hardcore as say those of Star Trek, Star Wars or even Transformers, but they are a loyal bunch.  The 80’s movies, along with the cartoon, are still much beloved and fondly remembered to this day.

Yes I am one of those fans

Many fans had hoped the franchise would be revitalized in 2016 with the new Ghostbusters Movie: Answer the Call.  Instead they got a box-office flop filled with toilet humor and forced jokes, tarnished further with constant social media bickering and cries of ‘misogyny’ whenever anyone dared to criticize the film, whatever their gender.

With this utter failure to revitalize the franchise, many Ghostbusters fans resigned themselves to the idea that Ghostbusters, much like the creatures they hunt, was dead.  But never underestimate the appeal of making more money to Hollywood, and thus in 2021 (a 2022 release here in Australia) we received Ghostbusters: Afterlife.

 

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Unlike Answer the Call, Afterlife is not another reboot attempt but a continuation of the original films universe.  In fact this movie, despite having predominantly an entire new cast, could be best summed up as a 2-hour  love letter to the original 1984 film.  Whilst new viewers will no doubt enjoy the movie, it is very much aimed at existing fans and those hardcore Ghostbusters nuts will spend their time picking up on a thousand Easter Eggs that reference the first Ghostbusters Movie – everything from stacked books to a collection of spores, molds and fungus.

The story center’s around Egon Spengler, one of the original Ghostbusters, who was played by Harold Ramis  and the only star of the first two movies to have passed on.  Egon has become a recluse in an old farmhouse and very early in the movie gets killed by a Hellhound in a way instantly recognizable to fans of the original flick.  Thus to all but the uninitiated one becomes immediately aware of who the main bad guy (or girl – its whatever it wants to be) is going to turn out to be.

From Ghostbuster to Dirt Farmer

Enter Egon’s estranged daughter and her two children.  Being broke and evicted from their home, they have come to sort through Egon’s possessions in the hopes of finding enough items of value to pay off their debts.  Phoebe, the 12 year old daughter, is the star of the show and instantly recognizable as Egon’s granddaughter with her round glasses and odd behavioral patterns.

Over the next hour of the movie we watch Phoebe, guided by whom she soon realises is her grandfather’s invisible ghost, discover her families past and learn the ways of busting, aided by her summer-school teacher and new school-friend Podcast.  Her older brother Trevor meanwhile resurrects Ecto-1 and the busting is back on!  This is a movie of likable characters, all of whom bring something to the story and help the humor and the plot move along nicely.

Nice to see kids actually get outdoors and play!

For those looking for a brand new Ghostbusters experience, they may be somewhat let down.  This movie is very much about the main character discovering her past and uncovering that once again Gozer is looking to conquer Earth.  She hunts ‘Muncher’, whom appears the be the metal-eating version of Slimer, all while uncovering more about her grandfather and how he has been holding Gozer at bay single-handed for many years.  Same equipment, same main bad guys – it is less a new take and more a trip down memory lane.  It is nice to see Ecto-1’s abilities showcased more, now displaying the gunners seat it had in the original 80’s cartoon.

How much would you pay to ride in that seat eh!

The movie culminates in the face off with Gozer, though apparently she forgot to grab herself a Destructor form this time around.  Just when things look lost who shows up – Ray, Peter and Winston!  And when they don’t prove enough Egon’s ghost finally makes a visual appearance and the four originals, along with Phoebe, take Gozer down for good.  Cap it off with an emotional scene with the living Ghostbusters and Egon’s family talking to their departed love one and that’s a wrap folks!

 

As stated at the start of this review, this is a very Egon-centric movie.  Given Harold Ramis is no longer with us the special-effects crew did an astounding job of creating a ghost version of Dr Spengler and it is a very emotional moment when he appears at the films climax.  Yes, I’ll put my hand up that I did have tears in my eyes, even my wife cried too and she’s not the rabid fan I am.  Seeing Venkhman, Zeddemore and Stanz firing their proton packs alongside a spectral Spengler really tugs at the nostalgic heartstrings and one can understand why so many fans have reported leaving the cinema with a lump in their throats.  The movie is not only a love letter to the 1984 Ghostbusters Movie but to Harold Ramis himself, and one could imagine that if ghosts really did exist, then Harold’s ghost would be very moved indeed.

 

Is this movie worth watching?  If you are a fan of the original movies then definitely – it pays homage to everything you loved, though perhaps is the first ever part of the Ghostbusters franchise to lack Slimer even having a cameo.  Whilst the pace of the first half could have been better and it would have been good to see a wider variety of ghosts near the end, this movie ticks all the nostalgic boxes.  If you are hoping for an all-new Ghostbusters experience then you will find this movie entertaining enough, but lacking the depth that hardcore fans will undoubtedly find within it.  If the 2016 movie was more your cup of tea then don’t bother with this film, with no new gimmicks and no subpar slapstick comedy, this movie about a 12-year old girl is probably too mature to entertain.

I give this movie 4 out of 5 proton packs.

Got something to say about this movie?  Pop it in the comments section below!

 

Movie Review: Star Trek Beyond

Movie Review – Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Movie Review – Bumblebee

 

 

Random Rants, Random Reviews, Tales of the Trev

Househusband Tales #11 – The most Annoying Bird in Literature!

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Books are awesome!  Nothing better than a good book!

I’ve always loved reading, as has my wife.  We’ve been reading to our kids every day, as well as before bed, since they were born so they have developed a love of reading too. Our son has reached the age that he now reads to himself after we say goodnight and during the lockdown we let him stay up late in bed to read his favourite books.

Our daughter however still much prefers to be read to than read herself, though her skills improve every day.  Like all kids she’s got some particular favourites that she wants to have read to her again and again…

…and again.

I never thought I could get sick of Cat in the Hat but damn I’d like to grab that hat, pull it all the way down to his feet and then toss  that trouble-making feline in a river!  Our daughter loves books under the Dr. Seuss banner and night after night we work our way through her extensive library of them.  Books beloved from my childhood have now become a chore to read, yet none so more than friggin Go, Dog. Go!

What a fucking pain in the arse this book is!  Written by P.D Eastman under the Seuss banner it follows Dogs… er… doing things.  Sitting on a house.  Sitting under a house.  Dogs going in.  Dogs going out.  You get the picture.  And whilst I can appreciate that the book is good for beginning readers to read themselves, its gruelling to get through as an adult when you are reading it to your kid for the 50th time in a row.

And no one is more of a pain in the arse in the book than this fucking bird:

Annoying entitled little green bastard!

 

Let me set the scene.  A bunch of dog are, naturally, driving their cars:

Hey dogs? Ever hear of leaving two car spaces between you and the car in front?

The dogs are approaching an intersection, going hell for leather.  There isn’t a single other car on the road.  There is however a prick of a bird walking down the center of the road for some damn reason instead of using the footpath:

Get off the fucking road!

Now the bird sets off the traffic light and stands there in the middle of the damn intersection, yelling at the dogs to stop!  Nearly causes a multi-vehicle pile up in doing so!  The sense of entitlement in this action is Karen-worthy!:

Surely this is an arrest-able offense?

Then the little fucking bastard, after causing all this hassle, walks off down the road, giving permission to the dogs to go again.  Look at the expression on those dogs!  You can tell they want to jump out of their cars and maul the bird to death and I wouldn’t blame them:

Oh you little turd you!

Not only should this bird not be walking down the middle of a road meant for cars, let alone standing in the middle of an intersection yelling instructions at the motorists, but why the fuck doesn’t he just fly?!  He’s a goddamn bird!

 

I swear, if ever they invent a way for people to enter books I wont be going into a Harry Potter novel to do a ‘Voldermort’s got no nose, how does he smell?’ joke at the evil one, no.  I’ll go into Go, Dog. Go!  and wring that birds scrawny neck.

 

Fuck I hate that bird.

 

Related Articles: 

Househusband Tales #3 – The Library Playgroup

Househusband Tales #6 – The Power of the Platter!

Househusband Tales #8 – Star Charts

 

Random Reviews

Star Trek V: Kirk vs God

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While I quite like Star Wars – the first three movies made at any rate – I’m much more of a Trekkie.  And like my feelings on Star Wars, I much prefer the original stuff to the new stuff.  Oh there have been some quite good new movies made in both franchises, but it’s the old stuff that revs my engine.

Before Star Trek: The Next Generation debuted, there were 6 Star Trek movies. Admittedly the first one was a dog’s breakfast, an absolute shitshow which even the most die hard Trek fans struggle to like. The others were more well received but there is one that still cops flak – unfairly in my opinion – to this day. And that is Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

Or as I like to call it – Kirk vs God.

Back in The Original Series Kirk faced down not only supremely powerful aliens with god-like powers routinely, but even met old gods from Earth like those of the Greek Pantheon.  In these encounters Kirk either had sex with them or beat them up – a winning formula for a Starship Captain on the frontier. 

Kirk: “I don’t care if he is in a dress – I’m not boning this one”

In Star Trek V this attitude of James Tiberius is taken to the extreme.  Let’s look a short synopsis of the plot:

 

*Kirk, Spock and Bones go camping, play with jet-boots and get drunk.

Kirk: “I was pissed and napping. I ain’t getting fully dressed for whatever this is”

*Spock’s half-brother Sybok brainwashes the crew of the Enterprise (bar Kirk & Spock) to fly the Starship to the center of the universe to find God.

*Klingon’s follow as their Commander wants to destroy Kirk since doing so, as his second in command states, it would make him “The greatest warrior in the Galaxy”.

*They find God.  Kirk, Bones, Spock and his brother beam down to a planet and have a chat with him.

God: “Hey, I’m God. I’m all loving, so do as I say or die!”

*Kirk doesn’t like the cut of God’s jib – Kirk thinks God is coming across as a bit of an arsehole.  So since God isn’t female Kirk picks a fight! God, wisely knowing that if he gets into a brawl with Kirk he will get his celestial arse handed to him, shoots at them with energy bolts instead, then has a wrestle with Spock’s brother and kills him.

*Kirk knows God’s cheating with the energy bolts so returns the favour by having The Enterprise shoot God with photon torpedoes. Kirk’s near where the blasts will impact but knows he can withstand it, whilst God himself sustains a nice bit of damage.  Kirk has his friends beamed away so he can finish the fight one-on-one.

*Kirk and God square off.  Before Kirk can headbutt him, the Klingon Bird of Prey spaceship shows up and shoots God in the face, killing him.  The gun then swings towards Kirk.

*Kirk’s pissed off – that was his fight!  So standing there he calls the Klingon’s bastards (despite the fact THE GUN THAT JUST KILLED GOD IS BEING AIMED RIGHT AT HIM!) and challenges the hovering Klingon Battleship to bring it on!

*Just before Kirk can punch on with the battleship he gets beamed up and turns out it was Spock in the Klingon battleship that shot God, as he was the Vulcan equivalent of pissed off at God for killing his brother.

*Everyone gets drunk again.

 

Now to me, that is good cinema.  Oh, besides the camping scene, the first half of the movie is forgettable with Spock’s half-brother running round curing peoples inner pain and whatnot.  And there was plenty of other stuff that probably could have been cut as well.  However the ending is great!

But then… could the ending have been EVEN BETTER?

I think so.  Frankly I wanted to see Kirk and God duke it out.  It might have been one of the few times Kirk was faced with an actual challenge – the two most powerful entities in the universe getting stuck into each other would have looked great on the big screen!  I also would have liked to see Kirk get into a fight with the Klingon Bird of Prey. Would have Kirk’s fists been enough to take down a heavily armed and armoured alien intergalactic battleship?  Personally I have faith they would have been up to the challenge, but I guess now we’ll never know.

Kirk vs Spaceship – lets get ready to rumble!

So yes, while many prefer the later Star Trek shows and movies, with Picard constantly drinking Earl Grey tea and Janeway talking to others about their feelings instead of, you know, making some tough decisions and actually getting her crew home quick, I shall always be a fan of the Original Series. And the last half hour of Star Trek V, where you get to see Kirk face off against the The Almighty himself and put the smack down, should be treasured by all those fans of Trek.

 

God something to say about this classic piece of cinematic history?  Pop it in the comments section below!

 

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Random Reviews

Review: SHIT THE BED Aussie Hot Sauce

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During the summer bushfires we lost power to our home for several days and as such lost everything in our fridges – including my beautiful range of hot sauces.  Sniff… dark days indeed.

It’s over half a year later and I’m still slowly building a small collection back up.  As such, when I saw some for sale right in the little town we live near, I couldn’t resist grabbing a bottle.

classy…

So let’s have a look at the latest offering from Bunsters, subtly titled – SHIT THE BED Aussie Hot Sauce.

 

The Flavour

Now with a name like Shit the Bed you probably aren’t expecting a top of the range hot sauce, full of subtle flavours that complement the heat.  And you’d be right!  Trying a bit on its own is like getting stung on the tongue by a wasp, a short sharp unpleasant sting to the tastebuds.

Of course, hot sauces aren’t meant to be eaten on their own, just as one is not supposed to drink from a bottle of tomato sauce.  They are a condiment to be added to other foods.  So I tried this sauce out on a homemade double-beef burger.

I will say that as a supporting flavour this hot sauce does come into its own.  The sauce significantly added to the taste of the burger, and whilst still rough around the edges it was fairly pleasant on the whole.  The label on the bottle said the hot sauce goes great with pizza and eggs so I added an extra dollop to the fried egg on my burger for good measure.

 

Bring the Heat… please!

Pfff…. hot sauce for toddlers!

This hot sauce may have an initial bite to it, but it is severely lacking in the heat department, despite Warning: This sauce is extremely hot being on the back label.  Whoever wrote on the front label that the heat is 12/10 was either taking liberties with the truth or sorely needs to revisit their high school maths.  Even eating this hot sauce straight wont make you yearn for a cup of water or milk and within a minute the heat has fully receded from your mouth.  At a measly 35,000 Scoville’s it’s not even a  tenth as strong as Mad Dog 357 (which has a level of  357,000 Scoville) and does not deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as God Slayer Fucking Hot Sauce which comes in at a whopping 6.4 million!  Yep, if you are after a heat challenge from your hot sauce I’d look elsewhere.

 

So… did I soil my sheets?

Promises Promises

The implied claim with the name of this product is that the hot sauce is so lethal it will make you shit the bed.  Indeed with some of the heat challenges I’ve done such as attempting Australia’s Hottest Hamburger, I’ve had to get up at 2am in extreme gastric distress and sit on the toilet for an hour or two.  Surprisingly, despite the relative lack of heat, around 10pm that night I did have to go sit on the toilet for a while with my stomach churning.  However instead of the usual liquid lava boiling from my bowels it felt like I had eaten a dodgy curry or something.  And if this had all taken place after I had nodded off, the attack was not that acute that I think I would have dropped a brown one in the bed rather than made it to the lavvy.  Nope, no ring of fire for this cowboy’s latest ride.

 

Is this hot sauce worth your time?

If you are a hot sauce connosuier like me then no.  It has an unpleasant taste on it’s own, is average on food and has very little heat.  The only thing it seems to have in common with the better/stronger hot sauces is that it causes you gastronomic queasiness, which is meant to be a side effect rather than the main selling point.   However given its cheap price point and vulgar name, it’s probably not a bad one to have on standby at a BBQ to give your boozed up mates a chuckle and to stick on a burger.

 

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Random Reviews, Transformatorium

Album Review – Respect The Prime 1986 Revisited

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Several weeks ago I reviewed the new Cybertronic Spree Album, which was a cover album of music from the 1986 animated classic Transformers: The Movie.

 

Not long after this, embarrassingly fanatic blog fans Trent (instigator of the latest hot sauce challenge) and Dallas informed me that there was another tribute album floating around out there from back in 2016.  One I had not even heard of!

 

So after a bit of net searching, and eschewing the ludicrously priced ones on eBay, I was able to track down for a reasonable cost Respect The Prime 1986 Revisited.

 

Cybertronic Spree did not disappoint, I wish I could say the same here.

Sorry to say but most of the covers range from tolerable to complete shite!   Whereas Cybertronic Spree tried to stay faithful to way the songs were intended whilst putting their own stamp on it, these no-name bands all seem to be trying to make the songs completely their own with a mixture of grunge and hard rock that just doesn’t suit the music at all.  The only thing that could put it above the Spree version is that you get 17 different groups of artists instead of one, but love for the source material is not evident from even one of them.

 

Instruments of Destruction is done by Deathproof featuring the singer from Red Lokust and he can’t seem to decide if he is growly grunge or rock, he could have pulled it off if only he had put a bit more testosterone into it.  At least the band that did the Transformers Theme Song put some grunt in, makes it sound like a cartoon theme song intended for a moshpit.  Ghostfeeder’s version of Nothin’s Gonna Stand In Our Way starts off pretty crap, however redeems itself by the end, making the tune at least bearably catchy.  Most other songs on the CD could be described as fitting into one description or the other of these two.  However there are two songs that stand out from the rest:

 

I always thought that certain Star Wars fans that talked about the prequel movies raping their childhoods were idiots.  Funnily enough those idiots are now all in their 40’s and seem to now love the prequels and hate the latest flicks.  And likewise many numbnuts shouted the same idiotic ‘childhood raped’ phrases when the Live-Action Transformers movies came out.  I never understood the mentality…

…until I heard The Dark Clan do Dare.

Man they fucking butchered it!  It was heartbreaking!  A song that have I associated nothing but wonderful thoughts and memories with over the last 30 years was bent over and given a non-consensual reaming! It was pure poison to the ears and soul and I hope the singer lies awake at night remembering the abominable thing he did.  You are a bad, bad man by doing such an awful thing to an innocent tune, especially the way you yodel ‘believe’ like a tone-deaf caterwauling hack. Shame I say, shame!

 

On the other hand, the rendition of Dare To Be Stupid by Caustic finally made this try-hard song hilarious!  I adore Weird Al but this was not one of his funnier songs, even if it does have a catchy beat.  But to hear it done in a sort of hardcore British Punk accent for some reason made the song work.  And the way the singer roared in this huge angry voice“MASHED POTATOS CAN BE YOUR FRIEND” was fucking piss-funny!  If this CD has one redeeming feature, this track is it.

 

So should you hunt down this CD?  Nope, no you shouldn’t.  Not worth it.  Either go buy the original soundtrack or the Cybertronic Spree album or both.  This one you can easily skip for it does not respect The Prime.

 

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Album Review – Cybertronic Spree: Transformers 1986

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Ok, c’mon Trev, be objective here…

Do not come across like a teenage girl at a ‘One Direction’ reunion concert screaming ‘Oh they are so dreamy!  I want to have their babies!’ 

Be harsh mate, be scathing, pull apart song by song to find any fault so that you can give a frank assessment of this CD….

 

… fuck it, I can’t! Its just too good!

 

Ahem.  I got my Cybertronic Spree CD this week.  I kinda like it.

 

About the Band

For those that don’t know, Cybertronic Spree is a true fan success story.  A bunch of singers and musicians came together about six or so years ago, dressed in awesome looking self-made Transformers costumes and sang songs from the Transformers 1986 movie.

It proved popular.  Amongst us TF fans it proved really popular.  So much so that they started getting gigs, appearing at various conventions and even earlier this year got their own IDW Comic Cover variant.

 

 

And so a Crowdfund Project is born!

So riding on the wave of that popularity they decided to Crowdfund a CD where they played 10 of the songs from the 86 movie. CD title appropriately ‘Transformers 1986‘.

The reaction was better than they could have hoped.  It all sold out fast.  I mean, really fast!  So then they reopened the Crowdfund and then that all sold out.  

So they now had the money and went to work recording their album.  Digital copies to those who contributed to their Crowdfunding went out about a month ago.

As much as I would have loved getting a signed poster, my funds at the time meant I was only able to order the CD.  And when it came to writing a review I wanted to review the CD, as I knew the digital copy I received would not do the music justice played over the shitty little speakers on my computer.  

So having received the CD this week, I set up my sound system in the disused outdoor carport on the farm, where the acoustics are puzzingly good and I could crank the volume to max, pulled out a deck chair, cracked a beer and sit back to listen to the music.

 

It did not disappoint.

 

The Music

This is a fucking awesome CD!  Damn they did a good job.  Whilst this CD is primarily a Crowdfunded fan project, you can tell that these are all singers and musicians who know what they are doing and have a genuine love for the material.

As someone who has the soundtrack to the 86 movie and knows every song by heart, it was so cool to hear these songs faithfully redone but with the twist of having new musicians and, most importantly to differentiate them from the originals, new vocalists.

Damn Arcee has a set of pipes on her!  Don’t get me wrong, Spike is a good backup vocalist and Hot Rod can sing his arse off, but Arcee has a voice that can pick you up and pound you flat with its power!  I’ve always loved female vocalists who sound like they could kick my arse.  I shudder to think of the poor singer inside the costume – how many TF Fanboys must there be out there she is currently starring in the fantasies of (my own efforts to get my good wife to dress as a Transformer have always met failure, as public record will testify).  As all the original songs were sung by men, to have Arcee singing half the songs and providing backup vocals on many others gives the songs a new and unique twist, breathing new life to tunes you’ve been listening to for the past 33 years.

Full credit to the musicians too, The guitarists (Unicron & Hot Rod) provide those tasty big 80’s riffs big time and Rumble the Drummer pounds those skins like a true professional.  

 

This CD hits all the right notes for me.  The Touch gave me goosebumps, Dare gave me a nostalgic lump in my throat.  I didn’t understand why they chose to have Hunger as the last track on the album until I heard the end.  That massive instrumental finale right at the end of the song kicks so much arse you wanna put your fist through a wall, headbutt a tank and yell to the world that every other sci-fi genre sucks Quintesson Balls compared to ours!

 

So yes, I liked this CD.

 

 

Cybertronic Spree, all I can say to you is (cue eye-rolling song lyric references):

 

You’ve indeed got both the touch and the power

You’ve got the passion and the pride.  It can’t be denied.

When it came to getting this CD made you let nothing stand in your way and us fans count ourselves among the fortunate ones.

 

And if you ever decide to tour internationally, I can guarantee you a sold out show in Sydney.  The tendrils of Big Angry Trev will twist throughout the Aussie Fandom to hound TF geeks out of parents basements, comic stores and online chatrooms across the land to fill a venue in your honour (with extra security to keep the fanboys off Arcee).

All I ask in return is that you let me get on stage and do the ‘AAAAAAAA-AAAAA’ at the end of Instruments of Destruction 😉 

 

 

 

Extra Merchandise

As I mentioned, I was only able to afford at the time the CD.  However fellow Transformer Enthusiast and Skydiving Superstar Brendan was able to get some more of the merch. 

 

 

Got something to add to this review?  Pop it in the comments section below!

 

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Random Reviews

Movie Review – Godzilla: King of the Monsters

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Godzilla. One of the longest running film franchises in history. Dozens of movies with people in rubber suits bashing each other, while the audience tries to believe they are giant monsters near the size of Trypticon.

Over the last 20 years Western film companies have tried to have a crack at portraying the big fella using CGI. There was the terrible 1998 movie with Matthew Broderick (he should have made Ferris Buller and then retired) which was so maligned that no one in the US dared have another go for another 16 years. The 2014 Godzilla movie was better, but out of a 2 hour movie Godzilla was on screen for less than 12 minutes, which irritated fans who wanted to see more of him and less of the other monsters.

So here we are in 2019 and a sequel to the 2014 movie has been made. Godzilla: King of the Monsters, is the third Western-Based Godzilla movie and picks up 5 years after the last film. And something has happened.

Something amazing.

Something incredible!

Something stupendous!

THE WORLD FINALLY HAS A KICK-ARSE GODZILLA MOVIE!

This movie is AWESOME! I mean it is really damn good! No rubber suited monsters bashing into each other like the old days. No drawn out plots where they either totally discard what has come before or else never show you Godzilla. This Godzilla movie is giant monster balls to the wall action from start to finish, leaving the audience happy yet drained after getting such a huge huge monster fix.

 

The Plot

Let’s be frank, any plot in a Godzilla film is simply there to facilitate reasons for giant monsters to fight each other. This film is no different. Godzilla has been lurking under the ocean for the last 5 years, monitored by Monarch. Monarch is a worldwide organization that monitors Titans (giant monsters). All are asleep bar Godzilla, and Mothra who is just beginning to hatch and go into her larval stage. Without going into painful detail about all the things that happen in a two hour movie the synopsis is that one of the scientists has figured out how to communicate with Titans via a box that makes noises they respond to – The Orca. She then goes nuts with a bunch of other nutters and goes around the world trying to wake them all up so that they can ‘restore the natural order’ that humanity has stuffed up.

This plan goes (predictably) wrong. They wake up Ghidorah, who it turns out is not part of the natural order (being from space and everything) who as an Alpha wakes up all the other Titans on his own terms, via sonic noises, and orders them to start destroying the world, essentially terraforming it for his own needs. Of course Godzilla, being the other Alpha, doesn’t take kindly to this and lots of fights ensure.

Plenty of other stuff in the movie involving human families and governments and history, but honestly the above is really all you need to know.

 

The Visuals

F*cking superb! None of this crap where the monsters are hidden in fog or smoke or behind a building half the time. There are right out there where you can see them and they are BIG. I don’t think any Godzilla movie has portrayed such a sense of scale before! Godzilla is that big that destroyed aircraft wreckage lands on his shoulder like a speck of dirt and he doesn’t even notice. Ghidorah is f*cking MASSIVE! And looks friggin scary as! If I had been one of the humans in that movie my mantra would have been “Let’s get to the other side of the planet and hide under the biggest rock we can find right f*cking now!” The special effects are done excellently too, mainly portrayed as the different energy blasts the Titans aim at each other, but it’s certainly the CGI monsters that steal the show.

 

The Sound Effects

Ya gotta love that Godzilla’s roar has hardly changed over the last 70 years. Think of the roar from the T-Rex in Jurassic Park but dialled up to 11. Thankfully the noises made by the other monsters such as Ghidorah and Mothra have been updated and sound appropriate to creatures that size, rather than random keys on a synthesizer. Big, loud, deafening, that’s what one should expect from a movie like this and that is what you get.

 

The Lore

Now I am one of those geeks that actually knows a great deal of the Godzilla lore. And this movie has really done its best to keep faithful to what has come before. Yes it’s ridiculous lore but it’s about giant monsters so if you don’t like it – what did you expect? Everything from a Mothra being reborn/hatched when the previous one dies, Godzilla feeding on nuclear power and Ghidorah being able to regenerate heads and coming from space – it’s all faithful to what has come before. The only new thing for a classic character added is Rodan being born of fire – he comes out of a volcano with smoking wings and even appears to have some kind of heated plasma for blood. But given in the past all he was was a flying lizard, it’s quite a nice addition for him. There are also some new Titans on the scene in very minor roles, which adds to the ever expanding creature cast list for the franchise.

 

So worth a watch?

Hells yes it is! I’d say this is the best Godzilla movie ever made by far! But it still isn’t perfect by any stretch. The pacing is great with the exception of a prolonged sequence where Monarch try to revive Godzilla later in the movie – this could have easily been cut to save 20 unnecessary minutes. There was a bit too much human interest in the final fight scenes – it detracts from the action by constantly cutting to them trying to save a main characters daughter, when at this point you really just wanna watch the monsters fight. The Orca plot device is relied upon too heavily as well, too much of what happens in the movie is based around a machine that looks like it should be sat on the back seat of a Delorian.

But these are minor quibbles. This is what a Godzilla movie is meant to be! Brilliant action sequences of giant monsters squaring off and that is what you get. No waiting for an hour for them to put in an appearance, it gets going pretty quick and from that point on pretty often. Mothra and Rodan are both done very well; it speaks to the size of this movie that Rodan, who not only takes out dozens of fighter jets  by performing an aerial spin, but completely decimates a city simply by flying over it, is definitely a supporting player. It now remains to be seen if the third movie which is slated to come out next year, where Godzilla versus Kong, has a hope of comparing to the catastrophic creature carnage that this flick gives you in spades.

Go get your Zilla on baby! And watch out for Ghidorah – he’s one bad Mothra F*cka!

 

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