This question comes from Lucielle, all the way over in Gauteng in South Africa “What am I thinking?”

Well, my educated guess would be “Holy crap!  I asked this question 4 months ago as a joke – he is actually answering this?!”  And I bet I am not far off the mark 😉

But the truthful answer is that I don’t know because I am not a mind reader.

 

Do you know why I am not a mind-reader?  Because mind-readers, psychics, soothsayers, precognitives, astrologists, fortune tellers, tarot card and palm readers and all of their ilk are FULL OF F*CKING SHIT!

No-one can read your mind – NO ONE!  This is NOT a debate people, they can’t do it!  And anyone who says they can are either self-deluded or a con artist or most likely both!  After a while people begin to believe their own bullshit.

I won’t go into how these people trick you in to thinking that they are psychic or can read your mind or the future – that has been well documented.  Everything from your age, sex, expression, tone of voice to even the state of your home tells them a wealth about you and after years of experience these people are very good at it.  They know what you want to hear, they know what you will believe, and they will tell you exactly that.  They are TRICKING YOU, they are CONNING you, they WANT YOUR MONEY!

And what tells them more about a person than anything else is usually that the person was gullible enough to fork out their money to them in the first place.

I don’t mean to criticize people who believe this stuff – oh wait, I do.  And I do it because I care so with all tact may I say – WAKE UP!  It’s 2016 – how many times do people need to prove to you that this stuff is bullshit before you catch on?  Why believe the loonies but not the educated folk?  It’s along the same lines as people who believe that immunizations cause Autism – they will happily believe a doctor who was so off the mark he got stripped of his medical licence and became a joke in his field, but not the reputable doctors, scientists and warehouses full of information that prove beyond doubt that Autism has nothing to do with immunizations!  And it’s their kids that suffer.  And if  parents are spending money on these psychic cranks instead of food and shelter for their kids then I’m guessing they are suffering too.

I think the perfect  example of how all this is crap is that they now have televised psychic hotlines.  Dear Primus – have you seen the women manning these phones?  None of them look psychic to me, they all look like they dropped out of high school, bought really bad jumpers at a thrift store and then found jobs where they could sit on their ever-expanding arses and just talk bullshit into a phone, all whilst charging some poor sucker a minimum $5 a minute!  (By the way, for those people that ring phone sex lines, I’m guessing that my description above applies there too, not a lot of super-models are doing that job).  What are the people ringing these lines thinking?  I mean – they can SEE who they are talking to!  I wouldn’t trust these low-rent bitches to advise me on how to boil an egg, let alone how to live my life!

And now there are ‘Pet Psychics’ – people who will tell you what your goldfish is thinking.  I mean – f*ck!  Are we really still this stupid as a society?!?

All of this points to the fact that perhaps stupid people breed too much and that we need to enforce laws where bullshit is outlawed.  They should have a special crimes division – the ‘AMPED’ Crimes Unit where they bust charlatans for ‘ACTIVELY MAKING PEOPLE EVEN DUMBER’.  They should be able to bust down doors and say “Nope – what you are doing is a load of wank and if you don’t knock it off we are putting a f*cking bullet in your skull!”  Also perhaps mandatory sterilizing of any of their customers who, after being shown evidence to the contrary refuse to stop believe in this stuff, is a good idea. We are facing a resources crisis this century people – in 50 years there won’t be enough fresh water to support the planets population.  How about we stop the people that refuse to stop believing in psychics breeding and shoot the unconscionable f*ckers that prey on their gullibility and stupidity?  At the rate society is going, I reckon that at a conservative estimate this would probably equal at least 1 in 10.  Knock all them off and the planet might just survive being infested with this scourge called humanity after all.

Lets put it in the next census and make it not confidential – “Do you believe in psychics and will never change your mind?”  If you tick ‘yes’ then the next day a van comes around with two big burly doctors saying ‘Sorry, you’ve lost the rights to your reproductive organs because chances are you will have a kid with someone just a stupid as you and your kids will end up even dumber yet again.  We need all the water and oxygen for the non-morons’.  And it would work because anyone stupid enough to believe in mind-readers after having it explained why it is false would be stupid enough to tick ‘yes’ on the form, even knowing the consequences.

I know I am coming across harsh here.  The majority of the people that read this blog most likely don’t believe in psychics and palm reading and all the rest, but there may be some that do.  Believe it or not I am on your side.  Because I want you to stop believing in things that aren’t true.  I want you to see through the veil of bullshit.  I want to meet up with you in a bar and be able to say “You stopped letting these liars and moral leeches sucker you in and steal your money, let me buy you a beer!”  I’m begging you to respect yourself and please – don’t believe any of it!  Just don’t.  Be smart, be smarter than the bullshit artists.  And bust your friends when they are dumb enough to fall for one of these fraudsters cons – you will be doing them a favor.   There is a difference between allowing people their beliefs and allowing people to believe complete and utter false crap pedaled by people with no conscience whatsoever.  If you believe in all this stuff and think I have just been really mean to you, I can guarantee you I am not being as mean as they are because they are lying to you and taking your money on purpose – I’m just trying to give you a mental slap in the face so you can not be taken advantage of any more.  I’m showing you respect by believing you can change – they are disrespecting on so many levels its not funny.  There is so much cool stuff to believe in in this magnificently huge, spectacular universe – you don’t need to believe in total crap like tarot cards, again – respect yourself!

 

Hmmmmm, and now my super-senses are telling me that Lucielle is thinking “Holy shit, Trev needs to calm down, I was just joking!”

 

Question answered Lucielle my friend 🙂