Transformer Movies – all 9 ranked from Worst to Best!

Please note: This ranking does not take into account the two Japanese movies based on the various Japanese Transformers animated series.  Maybe (if I can find a place to watch them online) they will be included at a future date.  It covers only the 9 Transformers movies that saw a western cinematic release.

Transformers One has finished up in theatres, it being the second animated Transformers movie and the 9th in the western franchise overall.  More than any other part of Transformers, be it the comics or cartoons or toylines, the movies have divided fans.  Many Transformers fans have grown up on the live action movies, or were first attracted to Transformers by it hitting the big screen.  Others have lamented films with more humans than robots, convoluted and contradictory storylines, unrecognisable classic characters and even coined the term ‘Bayverse’ – a derogatory term to refer to this part of the franchise as more concerned with big explosions than any form of storytelling.

But love them or loathe them, most fans who has seen all the movies has in their head their own personal list of ‘best to worst’, judging the films by their own personal criteria.

Ghostbusters Movies: All 5 ranked from Worst to Best!

So here is Big Angry Trev’s own list of the Transformers movies, starting with my least liked and working up to Number 1!

 

Number #9 – The Last Knight

Movie Review – Transformers: The Last Knight

Saw this in the cinema, and have watched the Blu Ray a total of twice, both times at the behest of someone else.  This is a movie that ran for over 2 ½ hours and may have been better received if they had shaved a lot of that runtime off.  Even upon multiple viewings the storyline jumps around too much to coherently follow – first they are hiding out in a junkyard, then they are racing through the streets of London, then they are undersea looking for a tomb and then finally up in the air fighting on broken bits of Cybertron.  Throw in a few human storylines, most of which were superfluous, the appearance of Unicron’s horns which were never properly investigated, and Merlin to boot and you had too much going on to properly sit back and enjoy.

Toys Review – The Last Knight: Steelbane, Cogman & Sqweeks

The movie did have some positives going for it.  The reemergence of Barricade, Welker finally voicing Megatron, Optimus Prime becoming Nemesis Prime and having a smackdown with Bumblebee, finding out what happened to Cybertron after TF3 etc.  Also a few good battle scenes; Crosshairs jumping from the back of a stolen Con flyer, deploying parachutes and blasting enemies will always stick in my head as one of the best visuals of the entire series.

Toy Review – MB-20 Nemesis Prime

But in the end none of this could make up for a French-sounding Hot Rod, Marky-Mark removing his shirt for no reason, Combiners that seemed to flow together instead of actually transforming and a plotline that left you going ‘huh?’.

Toy Review – The Last Knight Infernocus

 

Number #8 – Revenge of The Fallen

If only the movie had been as awesome as the toyline!

I feel part of the reason this movie is so disliked by much of the Fandom is that it seemed such a letdown after the relatively well received first movie, and many feared such a sequel would put an end to the live action Transformer flicks altogether.  Bay blamed much of the movies faults on the writers strike.  We can be thankful that the latest strike did not similarly adversley affect the Transformers One movie.

This was a movie made for 13 year old boys.  Considering its Transformers perhaps that should not be too surprising.  The crass humour was dialled up big time and for me (as someone who has avoided even learning about Kiss Players) the most cringeworthy thing to ever happen in all of Transformers was watching Wheelie hump Mikalya’s leg. Devastator having testicles, dogs humping other dogs, a fleshy tongue on the end of a metal tendril trying to lick Sam, a sidekick in his underwear demanding toilet paper, a stoned mother and Jetfire farting a parachute – the childish humour seemed to never end.  Add to this… urgh… the Twins, the most racially insensitive thing in Transformers since Carbombiya, and this movie felt like it was written by Beavis & Butthead after they discovered pot.

Toy Review – Studio Series Scrapper

Like TLK, this movie still had some good points.  The introduction of The Matrix, the Original 13 Primes, The Fallen and the Pretender concept were welcome parts of Transformers lore to be included into the live action universe.  Soundwave becoming a Communications Satellite was a clever idea and him ejecting Ravage in order to infiltrate an installation was very cool.  This is also where Soundwave got his tendrils, a concept carried over into TF3, Prime and RID15.  The way Devestator combined was dramatically done, even if he subsequently only smashed bricks and sucked sand.  Despite only being a byproduct of the movie, it is also worth noting that ROTF brought us one of the best and most  expansive toylines of the live action franchise, indeed Bludgeon who wasn’t even in the movie receiving the best toy he has ever had!

Toy Review – Studio Series: Scrapmetal

But once again despite all the positives, too many negatives were contained in this film to overlook, and thus Revenge of the Fallen comes second last in the Transformers list of fav movies.

 

Number #7 – Age of Extinction

Grimlock on the big screen baby!

The previous two movies are widely regarded as the worst of the Transformer flicks so I doubt them coming in at numbers 9 & 8 will raise many eyebrows.  Likewise I doubt this movie will cause a lot of contention by not being #1.  Age of Extinction had a lot going for it, a new human cast (Shiah LeBouf having taken to wearing a paper bag on his head by this point), new robots whilst still retaining a few fan faves that survived the slaughter of DOTM, an interesting plotline and a cool bad guy.  Yes, Lockdown (imported from the Animated universe) made a refreshing change; a bounty hunter not involved in the Autobot/Decepticon conflict who could turn his face into a sniper cannon.  The Autobots on the run, hiding out from being hunted down by the government was also a nice change of pace from being teamed up with Lennox and his crew.  Throw in a few Dinobots, an evil Fraiser and the old trope of Megatron being reborn as Galvatron and you’ve got a winner right?

Toy Review – Nemesis Grimlock

Well… sorta.  In a franchise that often let its movies run too long in order to fit in as many Michael Bay explosions as possible, this one was the longest coming in at a whopping 165 minutes!  Even if you are enjoying yourself, that’s too damn long!  By the time Lockdown’s ship was using its gravity weapon to suck up boats and building, simply to dump them down again, your average viewer was exhausted.  Like TLK, it may have been better received if it had cut at least half an hour of superfluous material.  The Dinobots were very cool, but seemed to be more monsters than Dino’s, whilst Hound had transformed from a nature lover to a rotund, gun-toting drill sergeant.  The whole storyline of Tessa Yeager was just fricken creepy!  All the skimpy outfits and sexual innuendos attached to a 17 year old girl dating a 20 year old was just…. bleegh!  Don’t get me wrong, I like looking at pretty girls on a big screen as much as the next guy, but this just made you feel gross, especially that ‘Romeo & Juliet Law’ thing.  The Lucas Flannery character stating ‘There goes a couple of dune bugs’ while he leers at other underage girls paled in comparison and that’s saying something.  The other negative for die hard fans was Transformium (not to be confused with the fantastic Transformatorium) – we want to see robots cleverly turn into vehicles and back – turning into a bunch of pixels is just cheating.

This was a movie that had more positives than negatives, yet one cant help think that if Cade was bereft of children this movie would have been shorter and less creepy on the whole.

 

Number #6 – Dark of the Moon

Optimus, save me from another movie like ROTF!

Okey Dokey, now we are getting to the better stuff!  DOTM (in my opinion, remember – these are just my opinions.  But because they are mine they are fantastic!) brought Transformers back from the depths that ROTF sent it tumbling into, giving us an action-packed and interesting movie full of battling bots destroying everything in their path.  No street fight with a dozen bots, no skirmish out in the desert in Qatar – this flick gave us huge battles where Chicago got ripped to shreds as the Bots and Cons went head to head!  This movie had a coherent storyline that seemed to stay on track and kept the plot moving forward at a good pace. It was not frantic enough you lost the plot, nor slow enough you got bored.  The humans were at least tolerable (for the most part) though that toilet scene was plain weird and Sam’s mother had gone from amusing to disturbing.  Optimus having his trailer, the appearance of The Wreckers, buildings toppling over from some giant driller thingie – all pro’s.  With the addition of  Laserbeak becoming a pink version of Bee so he could kill some kids Dad and you’ve got yourself a bonifide action movie boys and girls!

Was the movie perfect?  Oh my no, hence why it sits at No #6.  Sam’s as big a loony as ever, jumping around with a Con-watch attached to his wrist.  The Autobots are far more brutal than the Decepticons, examples being the Wreckers ripping an enemy limb from limb and Optimus killing both Megs AND Sentinel at the end of the movie, even as the latter asked for mercy.  Shockwave is grossly under-utilized for such a major character, and lets all thank the powers that be that they decided to make Wheeljack named Que instead, because he looked like Einstein got reanimated as a robotic skeleton.

Quibbles aside, this was a pretty good movie and if nothing else, acted like TF:TM by killing off a lot of the old bots so we could enjoy some new ones the next time round.

 

Number #5 – Transformers

Off to finally see some live-action Transformers!

Now, to clarify, I actually like DOTM more than the 2007 Transformers movie.  But credit where credit is due, this is the flick that brought the franchise into the world of live-action movies and was successful enough those movies are still being made 16 years later, so ya gotta give it some props.

Yes, this was the movie that had some sections of the fandom crying ‘Michael Bay raped my childhood’ – and what a stupid platitude that was.  You still see social media groups today that have vowed after the first live-action movie to never watch another one, or have deemed anything not purely G1 as an abomination.  To these people I say: once you’ve closed yourself off to anything new, then stagnate you will, and so will the franchise you apparently love so much.

For me nothing will ever quite match the magic I felt as I watched Blackout transform for the first time.  And as for Optimus transforming from Truck to Robot – I had to put a hand over my mouth and stifle a little sob of joy.  It may not have been G1 but here was the Transformers finally done in live-action, and they weren’t f’ing it up!

Oh the Geewunner in me decried a lot of the movies aesthetics.  Megatron and Starscream were as ugly as sin, Ironhide and Ratchet were the wrong colours and so on.  And that’s when they were actually on screen – for a lot of this movie you sat there wondering ‘When are the robots going to come back?’  For a movie called Transformers, they certainly seemed to take a back seat a lot of the time.

The humans?  Well besides taking up too much screen time they weren’t too bad.  Sam hadn’t gone insane yet and neither had his mother, her short performances being the comedic highlights of the film.  Mikayla was quite a strong character for someone who the male audience was supposed to primarily drool over, and Lennox and his team did their best to not be simple jarheads, actually adding to the plot nicely.

So yes, this movie had a lot of faults, but for bringing Transformers into the mainstream and giving the franchise a gigantic shot in the arm which it still benefits from today, Transformers 2007 comes in at the halfway point atNumber #5 for me.

 

Number #4 – Rise of the Beasts

Movie Review – Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

I originally had this movie as Number #2 a year ago, but found that over time it just doesn’t have that ‘rewatch’ value that the movies I’ve ranked higher do.   That said, it is still a highly entertaining film  –  with far less humans and far more Bots, new factions and – gasp – Unicron himself, we get a fantastic movie with Transformers banding together to save the world itself!

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts – Special Preview Screening Event!

I love Bumblebee, I do.  He’s a great character and my son’s favourite.  However many of us were suffering from Bumblebee overload.  Every movie, every cartoon, every toyline, everything from 2007 onwards he has been front and centre.  And sure, it makes sense as he’s the posterbot for the franchise now.  But after starring in his own movie I was very happy to see Mirage step up to take his place and Bee to be sidelined for much of the adventure.

Video: Interviews at Transformers Rise of the Beasts Preview Screening

Was this the Mirage of old.  Well, no.  In fact when you first see his altmode you think ‘Jazz is back!’ It’s rather odd how much they made his vehicle look like Jazz, though they did give a holographic shout out to his old mode.  His invisibility is gone, but his holographic powers from the original tech specs and the Netflicks cartoon are in evidence.  For me he was a tad too cheery, a tad too immature and he was able to swap altmodes far too easy – he can have the bulk of a garbage truck but be as small as an exosuit?  Transforming seems less special when you make it almost limitless.

Optimus is sounding old and weary.  And who can blame him, Cullen is 82 now!  The poor old bloke will be on his deathbed and still have a boom hanging over his head so he can voice Prime.  One wonders if they cast Prime in the ‘concerned weary leader’ role just to take into account the voice actors age.  That said, he still rocks it as he always does and he is respected and loved by beast and bot alike.

Transformers Beasts Base Camp

Scourge makes a passable bad guy, an amalgamation of his G1 and RID(01) incarnations, being a black truck with his Sweep minions (looking like Frenzy’s cousins).  Battletrap is awesome in the battle scenes with those chains of his, it’s only Nightbird that doesn’t add much to the trio.  The Maximals Optimus Primal and Airazor get a lot of dialogue and screentime, though fan favourites Cheetor & Rhinox do little indeed.  Arcee seems a good mix, looking similar in bot mode to the Bumblebee movie and similar in altmode to her ROTF incarnationIts just Wheeljack that got fans annoyed, and it turned out there was a lot of noise over a character that barely appeared.  And like many fans, I’m remaining hopeful of a Stratosphere action figure.

The ROTB Wheeljack Controversy

And perhaps this is why this movie ranks for me as one of the highest of the live-action movies – I can spend all this time taking about the robot characters.  Yes, they were finally characters with dialogue and weren’t one-dimensional killing machines, a precedent set in the Bumblebee movie that was thankfully followed on.

Toy Review – Studio Series Airazor

There were a couple of humans too of course, and it was nice to see there wasn’t a romantic/sexual story between them, a refreshing change.  They weren’t annoying either.  And whilst they got a lot of screen time, perhaps for the first time since the 80’s the robots were truly the stars of a Transformers movie.

 

Number #3 – Bumblebee

Movie Review – Bumblebee

This is the movie that so many die hard fans wish that Transformers 2007 had been.  First we are treated to a scene with all the bots battling on Cybertron, and they look like themselves again!  No weird colour schemes, no faces and bodies so mashed and distorted that once they move you cant tell what part of a bot you are looking at, all those aesthetic quibbles gone.  Cybertron looks like Cybertron again too, its not some Hexagonal mesh covered in bots that are the same colour as its surface and it’s not in bits and pieces flying over the Earth either.  It was all so beautiful it could bring a tear to the hardest Geewuners optic sensor.

Of course this did not last long and off to Earth they went, but not many of them.  Yes, by only having Bumblebee, Shatter and Dropkick on Earth you got to see their characters actually develop, interact with humans, interact with each other – you know, actually act like characters in a movie instead of murderbots.

Charlie Watson remains to this day the most likeable human out of the entire movie franchise.  You empathise with her woes and you celebrate her victories.  She’s not going nuts, or trying to shag someone, or being overly heroic or sexualised or insane.  You hate Tina Lark and laugh when Bumblebee smashes up her car, you root for Memo as he tries to step up to be a hero despite being scared shitless, and manages to show his romantic interest for Charlie without being sleazy.

And how much 80’s nostalgia could they pack in eh!  The music, the aesthetics – all spot on.  Bumblebee is a Volkswagen Beetle as we always wanted him to be and reprising his role as the sweet best friend of the central human rather than just bashing up Barricade a lot.

There is very little to fault with this movie.  Oh sure, Blitzwing looked more like Starscream than the live-action Starscream ever did so the ‘changing bots beyond recognition’ concept from the Bayverse movies hadn’t completely disappeared.  It was also confusing to many fans that this was billed as a prequel rather than a reboot, yet it contradicted so much that had come before, such as Bee hitting Earth in 1986 rather than having been around so long he had been battling Nazi’s.

This was a wonderful movie, with a lot of heart and fully deserves it’s place in the Top 3 Transformer movies of all time.

 

Number #2 – Transformers One

Movie Review: Transformers One

It’s ironic that a movie named Transformers One should take the number two spot.  This movie sadly underperformed at the box office, despite glowing reviews by both critics and fans alike.

Fan Screening of Transformers One: Sydney fans reactions

As amazing as it has been to see Transformers in live action movies on the big screen, they really do seem more suited to the animated world.  Especially given this means that the story can take place soely on Cybertron, and for many fans the fact the movie was completely bereft of humans was a major plus!

The movie follows the evolution of Orion Pax and D-16 into Optimus Prime and Megatron respectively.  We see new friendships formed and old ones torn assunder.  We see the class system of Cybertron being enforced, where the cogless are forced to mine while ‘true’ Transformers are afforded more luxury.  We soon learn all this has come about because Sentinel Prime betrayed the Original 13 Primes to the invading Quintessons, in return for them helping him become the preeminent power on Cybertron.  The visuals are fantasic, the new take on the lore interesting, the character development well paced and the battle scenes engaging.  The new voice cast do a great job, with Chris Hemsworth taking over the mantle of Prime from the ageing (yet still beloved) Peter Cullen.

Of course, there are a few letdowns.  The primary letdown is the lack of gravitas given to significant events within the film that should hold higher implications.  How was Sentinel Prime able to kill the Original 13 Primes so easily in combat?  Why would Optimus throw himself in front of a shot which would kill the despot, however after only one short battle permanently banish his best friend and his followers from Iacon to the wilds of Cybertron?  Yeah, ok, Megs dropped him into a ravine, I’d be a bit salty about that too, but it would have been more in keeping with the character for him to offer Megatron another chance and for Megs to shun it, rather than so willingly banish so many bots, that had moments ago helped to liberate Iacon, from the city they just helped save.  This and similar events make the characters seem more two-dimensional than is satisfactory, especially for a 3D film, though still miles ahead of the ‘murderbots’ of the Bayverse.  The characters are far more recognisable than the live action movies too, with some great looking figures hitting the stores.

Surprise package from Hasbro!

Minor quibbles aside we are looking at what was objectively a brilliant return to animated Transformer movies.  Overall this was a fantastic film which deserved to make more bank at the box office than it did.  In fact even some die hard older fans rate it as the best of all the Transformer movies ever made.  However for pure 80’s adrenillen, kick-ass music and a thrilling outer space adventure you simply can’t go past…

 

Number #1 – The Transformers: The Movie

A movie so good I had to recreate it in action-figure form

C’mon, you all knew this was coming.  TF:TM remains the high point for many of a franchise nearly 40 years old.  Yes it was a glorified toy commercial.  Yes it was designed to kill off as many old characters as possible so that Hasbro could flog the new toys.  And yes, it sent many children out of the cinema in tears as they watched their beloved Optimus Prime die.

Toy Review: Kingdom Rodimus Prime

But it did SO MUCH.  And it introduced SO MUCH!  A slew of what is considered quintessential to Transformers got it’s start here.  The Matrix of Leadership, Megatron becoming Galvatron, Junkions, Quintessons, Sharkticons, Optimus dying (to one day be resurrected) and so on.  Hot Rod, Kup, Blurr, Arcee, Ultra Magnus, Cyclonus, Scourge – all these iconic characters got their start here.  Not to mention Unicron, perhaps the biggest big bad to ever exist in pop fiction ever!  Galactus drains the energy from planets, well our bad guy eats planets and swallows moons whole!

Who became Cyclonus? Skywarp, Bombshell or an Insecticon Clone?

Now this isn’t to say the movie isn’t without flaw, there’s plenty.  Two Cyclonus’, a miscoloured Rumble, Snarl appearing and disappearing randomly, characters that die showing up later etc.  And though I loved it as a kid, the adult in me cringes a bit watching them having a dance off on Junkion.  Hasbro was way too brutal with killing off fan favourite characters, though one could argue this is one of the things that makes the movie so memorable – this was a no-holds barred slaugherfest in places which set it apart from many of the other 80’s toy movies.

Toys Review – Studio Series Hot Rod & Scourge

But damn, there is a reason they are STILL selling toys based directly on this movie 37 years later, its just too good!  It had stellar cast of pop culture icons such as Lenoard Nimoy from Star Trek, Eric Idle from Monty Pythons and a song by Weird Al Yankovic, as well as other big name actors such as Orson Wells himself playing Unicron.  It even managed to make Daniel and Wheelie not annoying (if only S3 of the cartoon had managed such a feat).

Toy Review – HasLab Unicron

Space battles, motorcycle chases, Dinobots, Constructicons, a bad guy the size of a fricken world – it’s amazing they could fit all this into such a short movie.  Throw in a soundtrack which is so 80’s it makes you want to run to the nearest music store to buy an electric guitar to learn such tasty licks, and you’ve got a movie that is still beloved nearly 4 decades later.  Yes, The Transformers: The Movie sits at number #1 as the greatest Transformers movie of all time; it had both the touch and the power.  Heck in spots it even dared to be stupid!  And one suspects will retain its throne for many years to come, until Galvatron gives it a hint at any rate.

Video: Kingdom Galvatron Review

 

So how would you rate the 9 Transformers movies from worst to best?  Similar to myself or completely differently? Pop your list in the comments section below!

Age of Primes: Which Bots can be traced back to which Primes?

Which bots can be traced back to which Primes?

The Original 13 Primes has been part of the Transformers mythos for quite a while now.  Be it in the Aligned Continuity, the Movieverse, the Power of The Primes Trilogy, or even retroactively into G1 via the IDW Comics, the idea that Primus originally created 13 Primes in order to battle Unicron has become an established part of Transformers lore.

The next instalment of the Generations toyline is Transformers: Age of The Primes.  And there are some interesting concepts in the trailer for the toys, even stating  “Every Transformers Bot can be traced back to one of the original 13’.

So the question is, who can be traced back to who?

It’s a bigger question than you think.  There are thosands of Transformers characters, and Cybertron is meant to have a populace of millons.  Yet all trace back to 13 – sounds a bit like Astrological signs doesn’t it (though perhaps less ridiculous).  At any rate, lets look at who the actual 13 Primes are, and who is likely to be descended from them:

 

Those Primes with obvious descendants

Solus PrimeThe master artificer and creator of many of the Primes’ weapons through use of her incredible Forge. She was the first female Cybertronian.

Upcoming AOP Figure

As the only female bot amongst the Original 13, it is safe to say that the majority of female Transformers can be traced back to her, even evil ones such as Crasher.

Given her Forge can create weapons as well as heal, it may be that many Transformers who are medics or have weapon modes are descended from her as well.

Toys Review – Galactic Odyssey Ratchet & Lifeline

 

 

Micronus PrimeThe conscience of the Thirteen, and the first Mini-Con, able to link up with and enhance the power of his siblings through the use of his Chimera Stone; responsible for creating the alternate dimension of Microspace.

The only question is: will his toy plug into the other bots?

One could say it’s safe to assume all the small bots can be traced back to Micronus.  Mini-Con’s, Micromasters, Targetmasters, Headmasters, Power Masters – all seem likely to be his descendants.

Toys Review – Micron Micromasters

 

Nexus PrimeThe first and greatest combiner, granted the ability to divide himself into separate forms by his Enigma of Combination. Unpredictable, fascinated by change, and a lighthearted prankster.

WIll he be a possible Superion retool?

As the first Combiner, one could assume that groups such as the Constructicons, Stunticons, Aerialbots, Technobots and so on can be traced back to Nexus.

Toy Review – Unite Warriors Computron VS Combiner Wars Computron

 

Onyx PrimeThe first beast-form Cybertronian, a primitive and spiritual being able to view other times, places, souls, and even the afterlife through his three-faced Triptych Mask.

Do I get a new toy, or a Transmetal II Megatron retool?

As the first Transformer with a beast mode, it is safe to say that most, if not all Transformers with beast modes can be traced back to Onyx.

Toys Review: POTP Terrorcons – First Lot

On a personal note, I would love to see the ‘Primacron’s Assistant’ from the G1 Episode ‘Call of the Primatives’ retroactively be turned into Onyx Prime!

 

Quintus PrimeA daydreamer and perfectionist whose drive to express his ideas led him to become a scientist. His artifact was the Emberstone, which gave him the ability to create life; the Quintessons were among his creations.

A no brainer.  The Quintessons are as stated his creations, as would likely be the likes of the Sharkticons and Allicons.   Possibly other bots with aquatic features such as Sky-Byte, Finback & Submaurader can be traced back to Quintus as well.

Toy Review – WFC Earthrise Quintesson Judge

 

The FallenOnce known as Megatronus, guardian of entropy and wielder of the Requiem Blaster, the Fallen’s name was stricken from history when the dark warrior turned on his siblings.

Upcoming AOP Figure

As many see him as the first Decepticon, surely many in the Decepticon ranks with a thirst for warfare and violence can be traced back to The Fallen, the most obvious of which being Megatron.

Transformers Collection – Generation One Decepticons

 

Those Prime’s with less obvious descendants

PrimaThe leader of the Thirteen, a warrior of light and the first Matrix-bearer who wielded the Star Saber.

You can remove my Matrix and attach it to the hilt of my sword – friggin sweet!

Being the first ever Transformer and the leader of the Original 13, it could be said that those bots who show natural leadership qualities can be traced back to him.  Ultra Magnus, Springer, Thunderclash, Dai Atlas, Heatwave and Deathsaurus would all be likely candidates.

Toy Review – Studio Series Ultra Magnus

 

Vector PrimeThe master of time and space, which he could manipulate through his Blades of Time.

I smell a repaint coming on!

Very few Transformers have shown the ability, to manipulate time but they exist, examples of such being as Elita-1 and MeantimeBlurr’s speed could be put down to a manipulation of time, moving so fast everything else seems stationary.  And Skywarp could be said to be a master of space with his teleportation ability.  It could also be conjectured that Transformers with space-faring capabilities such as Galaxy Shuttle hail from Vector Prime.

Toy Review – Titans Return Blurr, Hardhead, Scourge and Skullsmasher

 

Alchemist PrimeStudent of the elemental structure of the natural world, aided in this by his Lenses, which allowed him to see further and deeper than anyone, in both material and spiritual senses; fond of the occasional tipple, with some claiming that he still walks Cybertron in the form of a humble bartender.

Please let me get a proper figure and not be a Build-a-Bot!

Being an expert in the material & spiritual realms, bots who show a penchant for such things could well trace themselves back to Alchemist.  This could include bots such as Wheeljack, Beachcomber, Mindwipe and Shockwave.  And since Alchemist likes a tipple, maybe we could throw Trailbreaker in for good measure.

Toy Review – Masterpiece Shockwave

 

Liege MaximoThe “Prime of Lies”, a black-hearted and amoral manipulator. Though his artifact was notionally the toxin-loaded Liegian Darts, his real skill was his ability to talk others into his way of thinking.

“Hmmmm, Loki got his own show, so maybe….”

Stepped in cunning, trickery and with a gift for the convincing others, it is perhaps those bots that exhibit these traits that can be traced back to Liege Maximo.  The likes of Starscream, Swindle,  Tarn, Smokescreen & Jackpot spring to mind.  Also any robots that use weapons akin to stinging darts, such as Venom and Waspinator.

Toys Review – Team Sky Reign

 

Amalgamous PrimeThe joker of the Thirteen and the first Shifter, unpredictable and easygoing. He was first Cybertronian with the ability of transformation, granted him by his Transformation cog, which became the basis for the cogs in all subsequent Transformer life.

Good luck making a toy of that!

Since (almost) all Transformers can transform, it makes no sense that all of them can be traced back to Almalgamous as the first Transfromer, as it would mean none are descended from any others.  So perhaps it would be Transformers with special Transforming abilities.  Triple changers such as Blitzwing and Sandstorm, 6-changes such as Sixshot and Quickswitch, or Transformers whose transforming cogs allow them to transform incredibly quickly such as Runabout and Twin Twist.

Toys Review – Titans Return Blitzwing and Octone

 

Those with few obvious descendants

Alpha TrionHolder of the Quill, which he uses to record the past, present, and future of Cybertron in the Covenant of Primus as part of his role as recordskeeper of the Primes.

Alpha Trion, being the one Prime that stayed around the keep watch over the Transformers race, could be said to be the father of all while being the father of none.  Perhaps some more scholarly bots could be traced back to this ancient sage such as Skids, Rung and Sky Dive.

Toy Review – Masterpiece Skids

 

The Thirteenth Prime the last and most mysterious of the Thirteen, all we can say for certain is that he bore a strong connection to the Matrix of Leadership and his depictions look awfully familiar…

Ok, if it turns out Optimus’ original ‘Prime’ body is the same one he slowly evolves back into at the end of the G1 JP toyline, that’s gonna be kind of cool.

The Thirteenth Prime is a puzzler.  Said to be Optimus Prime, who gave up his Primehood and his memories to become the ordinary bot Orion Pax, only to become Optimus Prime once again when chosen by Primus to wield The Matrix and lead the Autobots.   Perhaps some bots that share physical similarities such as Pyro, Ginrai,  Leo Prime and especially Opitmus Primal can be said to trace themselves back to Optimus.

Legends ‘LG35 Super Ginrai’ vs Titans Return ‘Powermaster Optimus Prime’

 

But… but.. what about the Seacons?

Seacons

There are lots of Transformers that have traits or altmodes that make them obviously descended from a specific Prime.  But what about those that could have multiple?

The Seacons are a very obvious example.  They all have aquatic modes, making a link to Quintus Prime very obvious, especially given Overbite turns into a shark-monster with limbs much like a SharkticonHowever they all have beast modes which calls out to Onyx Prime being their progenitor.  But then 5 of the 6 can turn into weapons which screams Solus PrimeAdditionally they are Decepticons with Snap Trap being particularly brutal so that says Megatronus.   And to top it off they can combine, which harkens to Nexus Prime.

There are numerous other examples.  Sky Lynx has beast modes, a special transformation cog allowing him multiple modes, can combine (albeit with himself), can travel through space as a shuttle  and is a Lieutenant Commander.  So who does he trace himself back to – Onyx, Almagamous, Nexus, Vector or Prima?

Multiverse Sky Lynx Toys Gallery

 

So I will be very interested to see with the new Transformers: Age of Primes toyline if they indicate via the packaging which non-Prime characters are descended from specific Prime.  Given that sadly tech specs are mostly a thing of the past perhaps they will do this via symbols specific to specific Primes on the boxes or instruction manuals.

However they choose to move forward, it will be interesting to see if this latest iteration of the Transfomers toy franchise has a lasting impact on the Transformers lore.  And if nothing else, it will be great to finally get some decent official toys of the Original 13 Primes.

Check back soon for my examination of what  “Every Transformers Bot can be traced back to one of the original 13’ could mean for the lore of the Titans!

Concert Review: TISM – Death to Art

Ever have a beloved band stop touring and headlining before you had a chance to see them?

For me there are quite a few.   Didn’t used to earn much money as a security guard when I was young, and what shows I did manage to save up for were touring comedians.  Oh I’ve got to see a few Aussie acts over the years such as Jon Butler Trio, Josh Pyke, Silverchair & Powderfinger and a few years ago Paul Kelly, but not a huge amount in the grand scheme of things.

So imagine my excitement when it was announced that, for the first time in 20 years, TISM would be headlining in a new show!

TISM is my favourite band of all time. – ever!  Huge in certain demographics in Australia in the 90’s, they had so many songs that were so quintessentially Australian and manage to make you rock out and amuse you at the same time.  Can safely say I know more of their songs by heart than any other artists.

TISM, along with four other acts, performed at The Hordern Pavilion in Sydney in November 2024.

I went with some mates.  Sadly with us all having to travel from either interstate or from Central NSW, by the time we got to the gig we had missed the first two acts, though caught the end of Eskimo Joe who seems to have never lost the touch.

 

A big 4-poster bed!

The penultimate band for the evening were Machine Gun Fellatio who I’ve always been a massive fan of.  Think I knew half the songs they played whilst the others were unfamiliar to me but still great.  One thing that took me by surprise was how visually entertaining they were on stage – very much a burlesque show in some respects with changing costumes, hoop twirling, feather dances and even a bit of frontal nudity thrown in for good measure!

They were a feast for both the eyes and the ears and, like TISM, it was exciting to finally see them live.  Plus it’s not just KK Juggy’s exposed chest that leaves you stunned – man has she got a set of pipes on her!  A brilliant strong voice that carried so well through the entire arena!

Concert Review – Weird Al: Ill-Advised Vanity Tour

Greg – the stop sign!

Then it was time for who we were all there to see, the headline act – TISM, with their show Death to Art.

Yes, I’m a fan

The band took the stage wearing their trademark balaclavas, augmented by what seemed to be giant crests and matching…. shawls… ponchos… dunno what they were but the overall effect was that they looked like chickens from hell!

After an opening speech where they traditionally slag off some Aussie celebrity, this time Kyle Sandilands, they got straight on with the music.  And they did not disappoint!  So many classics that every member of the audience knew the words to, including personal favourites ‘Whatareya’ and “Ol Man River’, It was amusing to hear the audience purposely singing off key to keep up with the changing pitches in ‘I drive a Truck’.  Between the awesome rock and often amusing lyrics the crowd was well entertained.  This was helped by their dancing.  Oh man – ya gotta love’em!  Where MGF had these ostentatious, highly skilled and choreographed pieces, TISM looked like a bunch of your uncles that had been practicing for a few days.  There was never a point where every member dancing was in perfect synch and you know what, it just added to the charm.  This is TISM, they are daggy, they are Aussie, and they are ours!

TISM’s set went for approximately 75 minutes, a pretty fair achievement considering the age of the guys – I mean, they were in these big costumes dancing and most of us in the audience were sweating from just standing still.  And in typical TISM fashion, at least two of the troupe were wandering around the stage in just their balaclavas and boxer shorts by the end while others were defying the warning signs and stage-diving into the crowd.

This really is part of the charm and appeal of TISM for so many of us fans, on the one hand they do daggy dances, wander round in their underwear, have amusing lyrics and are so Aussie they must sweat vegemite!  But on the other hand they also have some very intelligent and thoughtful lyrics that really comment on Australian society, and their music is both catchy and has the ability to get the blood pumping.  Truly a band that covers all the bases.  Just a shame that on the night I saw them the speakers seemed a bit muffled, though with the audience singing the lyrics to nearly every song they were almost superflous anyway.

 

Do yaself a favour and…

Given the age of the group members, this could be one of the last times that the likes of Machine Gun Fellatio and TISM perform.  So if you get the chance to see these two highly entertaining bands, go see them while you can!

Did you see the show?  Leave your thoughts about it in the comments section below!

Live Show Review: An Evening With Henry Rollins