Househusband Tales #5 – The dreams of guilt

January 30, 2018 Big Angry Trev 5 Comments

So here I am, six months into my new career as Househusband. And I have started having dreams.

No, not the recurring dream I’ve had for the last 15 years, where I am in a toy store finding all these rare Transformers, but whenever I get to the checkout my basket is empty. Nor the dream where all the girls I went to High School with think I am now unbearably sexy, but my car breaks down on the way to the orgy. Not even the dream with all the flying teeth, the marmoset and the repeating accordion music.

No, in these dreams I have gone back to work.

*Dreams where you are at work AND still in your pajamas are just the worst!*

The dreams are all pretty much the same. I’ve slunk back to my old place of work in order to take up the career I left behind. I’m trying to do the best I can at my job, whilst anxiously trying to avoid the gaze of my bosses – which come to think of it is what I was always trying to do when I actually did work there (and every other place I was ever employed).

I know what is behind these dreams. It’s not a desire to go back to my old career – its guilt.

That’s right, guilt. I stay at home while my wife goes off to work and it’s getting to me.

I’m wondering if other Househusbands experience this kind of guilt. Perhaps it dates back to the cavemen. The caveman went out during the day, defending the home from sabre-toothed tigers and clubbing huge hairy mammals into submission to bring back for the cavewoman to skin and cook up. And thousands of years later my man instincts are telling me that I should be the provider, making sure there is meat on the table for my woman and offspring. Certainly the few male friends I’ve made since we moved up here have manly jobs – most of them work in the mines. They break rocks while I play dollies with my daughter. Yes I have big plans on how to make money out of our farm, but those will take years to bear fruit. Does that make me the equivalent of an unemployed drummer, living off his girlfriend while he assures her that ‘one day our band is gonna be big baby!’?

*‘Get out and do some manly work ya bum!’*

All sounds very misogynistic I know, but I don’t think that’s exactly where my brain is coming from. It’s not that I have any problem with my wife working. I don’t feel that she should be at home – it’s I feel I should be out working. When I was the one working, my wife still had income coming into the family home via maternity leave pay. I’ve gone from an annual 6 figure income to a 3 figure one – not exactly a ‘pay off the house’ wage. On the upside it’s helped me keep away from cigarettes, no way can I justify spending my wife’s hard earned money on cancer sticks for myself. On the downside, it means that financially we rely on her completely, which my subconscious tells me is not fair on my beautiful bride.

Maybe it’s a ‘not having a job’ thing. I’ve either being doing educational courses or working (or often both) since I was 16. To not be studying and to not be going to a place of employment – it’s great but again… those dreams.

*‘Protect me from the nightmares with your cuteness Mr. Milo!’*

Part of me is telling my subconscious to shut the hell up. That I enable my wife to be able to work. I make her coffee every morning and pack her lunch. I take care of the kids and the house while she is out and then cook her dinner every night. I make sure she has clean clothes to go to work in, though the one job I always still ask of her is folding and ironing – I’m pretty crap at both.

But then another part of me is saying that that part it is full of shit. My wife could easily make her own coffee & she could go to a cafe during her lunch break. We could get babysitting for the kids on the days they are not at preschool. We could share the cooking, washing and general household chores. That part yells that my wife could still work without me being at home, that I’m just making excuses.

So what is the answer? I don’t know. I certainly can’t go back to my old career – it was in another state and we aint moving again any time soon. Our new location is so remote there are very few jobs to be had and even if there were there are no dedicated daycare facilities for the kids up here. And this farm actually does take a lot of looking after – 120 acres does not just care for itself.

So maybe I need to feed the part of me yelling at my subconscious some rare steak, some raw eggs and a few beers so it can beef up and drag my subconscious into my brains equivalent of a back-alley to kick seven shades of shit out of it. Maybe I need to not be a deep-down misogynist and realise we are not cavepeople and it doesn’t need to be me subduing the sabre-tooth tiger. Maybe I need to take the long view and remember that when both our kids are at school in a couple of years I’ll be in a position that I can bring money into the household once again.

Or maybe I need to stop whining, stop the self-guilt and be grateful for how good I’ve got it.

Are you a Househusband and experienced these feelings? Or maybe you can shed light on this kind of existential drama? Would love to read it in the comments section below!

Househusband Tales #1 – Pampering Poorly Perfected

Random Rants: It’s valid for you to feel stressed

Transformer Toy Reviews

Toys Review: POTP Dinobots – Wave 1

January 29, 2018 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

The Dinobots – a fan favorite! Is there anyone that grew up with the G1 cartoon that doesn’t have a soft spot for this gang of cantankerous Autobots? Turning up in the Transformers Animated cartoon and even the live action movies the Dinobots have appealed to new generations as well. It’s easy to see how; Dinosaurs are cool, Robots are cool – transforming alien robots that turn from giant robots into space dinosaurs? It’s a no-brainer – they are awesome!

The new Power of the Primes toyline has finally given lots of Generations collectors what they have been crying for for years, new versions of many of these classic characters. Some have come out in the first wave whilst others are slated for later in the year and they come with not only a new character but a new trick – they combine!

But for now, let’s take a look at the four Dinobots that have been released so far – Grimlock, Slug, Swoop and Slash.

Grimlock

Robot Mode

The Leader of the Dinobots, unlike his compatriots, has not suffered from a lack of toys based on him over the years and here is the latest incarnation. At first impression his robot mode looks good but pretty stock standard. It is very faithful to his G1 cartoon incarnation as have many toys over the years (FOC in particular looking great!). Don’t get me wrong, this is what most Generations fans are after, their childhood characters reimagined but staying true to their roots. He looks good – he just doesn’t take your breath away.

Instead of his usual weapon of choice – a big red energon-sword, Grimlock is sporting what could best be described as arm-mounted knuckle-dusters. These also become the feet of the Dinobots combined form. I kinda like this idea – Grimlock is definetly a character that would enjoy smacking a few Con’s in the face with these! Also you can place the little Prime characters in the slots to, I dunno, add a splash of colour.

Space T-Rex Mode

*“Me Grimlock cut out carbs – lose weight good!”*

Big alien-metal T-Rex – just so cool! However not the coolest Grimlock we have seen. His body is a bit too elongated which makes him look like he needs bulking up. Also there is a gap between where his chest armour stops and his underbelly armour begins, making him appear he is wearing a golden nappy (diaper for you US readers). There is good rotation on his little forearms and his jaw opens and closes, a shame you cannot swivel the head though.

Swoop

Robot Mode

I think this is the best official Swoop toy we have seen since G1. Energon Swoop had odd hands and odd colours and Animated Swoop was painfully thin. This Swoop does a great job of looking like he did in the G1 cartoon, right down to the blue body. Personally I would have liked red more like the G1 toy in order to fit in with the other Dinobots better, but then you would have had people complaining about that so it shows you can never please all the fandom. He is the only Dinobot so far I’ve seen to come with their signature swords.

Space Pteradon

The Pteradon mode is quite good but the legs add a lot of bulk to the back, taking away a lot of the streamlined look you would expect in a flyer. In this case he does resemble Energon Swoop. The feet hang off the back of the body at the bottom but can be folded underneath so Swoop can sit up, a position he looks surprisingly good in.

*“It’s why they call me Swoop – NOT because my old name got stolen!”*

The mouth on Swoop opens well and looks excellent open. You can position his sword under his chin but frankly it looks ridiculous. What I do like is not only can you fold the wings in closer to the body but you can also angle them up – giving Swoops alt-mode a multitude of flying-poses.

~~Slag~~Slug

Robot Mode

Slag has a reputation in the fiction as being second only to Big Grim in terms of strength and ferocity and even outstrips Grimlock in terms of temper! Therefore it would have been nice for Slug to look a bit more bulky in robot mode. Whilst not slim, he lacks that bit of thickness that would have suited him, his proportions are good though. The way his robot head is imbedded into the underside of the Dino-head is super G1-esque, the colour scheme is spot on and he looks grumpy enough. I would have liked to see him have his sword though.

Space Triceratops Mode

*The cooler version of a Star Wars AT-TE Tank*

Looking at this mode, you can imagine him having been a tank before he got outfitted with an Earth mode. Very strong and compact. His mouth opens the least of any of the new Dinobots which makes it hard to make him look as though he is breathing fire. But like Swoop, this is the best rendition we have had of the classic character since G1. A shame he is not Voyager-sized – now that would have been something to behold!

The legs all have knees so that can change his pose slightly. His gun can be put in multiple ports – personally I think it looks best on his back but it can be put in his hip like the rocket-launcher on the G1 toy.

Slash

In the Movieverse line, there has been a raptor character named Slash. Slash has had a sex-change (according to Jurassic Park they can do that) and is now the first official female Dinobot toy. Slash is significantly smaller than the other Dinobots and sports no weapons but is nicely proportioned and has a suitably feminine face. I don’t mind them introducing new characters to classic groups, teams grow over time and the X-men would have been pretty dull if they still only had the 5 students.

Space Raptor Mode

It’s not a bad looking raptor, but like MP Dinobot, suffers from looking odd around the ribcage. The arms and neck are manuverable and she looks quite good with her jaw open ready to bite. Something that is disappointing is that Slash, in no way I can find and certainly not in the instructions, does not combine with the other Dinobots. It would have good for her to turn into chest armour (like CW Groove) or a weapon (like CW Shockwave or Powerglide). However a little Prime figure can ride on her back, much like the Diaclone versions of the original Dinobots.

Combined Mode

I’m not really going to comment on this much since I am waiting to see how Volcanicus will look with Sludge and Snarl onboard – I tried making him with Jazz and Dreadwind and it just didn’t work for me. Stay tuned for that review down the line.

Overall

Swoop could have been more streamlined, Grimlock less streamlined and Slug bigger. Besides that I think this is a really good Generations outing for the Dinobots and if you are a fan of the subgroup then I heartily recommend you go and grab these bad bots up!

Got anything to add to this review? Would love to read it in the comments section below!

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Toys Review – POTP Optimus & Rodimus Prime

January 28, 2018 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

So here we are in the third instalment of the Prime Wars Trilogy and the latest toyline is Power of the Primes! This toyline will be filled with combiner groups like the Combiner Wars and smaller characters that can attach to bigger characters like in Titans Return. However a new gimmick – Evolution – is being trotted out for arguably the two most well known leaders in Autobot history – Optimus and Rodimus Prime!

For those that don’t know, before he because Optimus Prime this inspirational leader was a much humbler character named Orion Pax. Likewise before he because Rodimus Prime, this headstrong leader was a less-than-humble Hot Rod. Once given a matrix both of them got bigger, stronger, wiser and a kick-ass trailer!

We’ve had a plenty of Hot Rod and a few Rodimus Prime toys over the years. Likewise we’ve had a few Orion Pax toys and you could fill a real life truck trailer with the amount of different Optimus toys there have been. But this is something new – we are getting these characters combined. That’s right, Orion and Hot Rod can become their matrix-infused selves with the help of transforming trailers – let’s have a look!

Robot Modes – The Primes!

Both these characters are really big and chunky. I don’t mind this, I think a bit of bulk suits both characters quite nicely. Both are well proportioned and able to perform a decent amount of poseablity. It’s a shame Rodimus Prime’s arm’s don’t come forward further as to hold his rifle in both hands he has to hold it almost perfectly horizontally. Also his (what would you call it – a ‘crest’?) yellow fins look too small on his big frame. Optimus resembles his Powermaster incarnation a bit more than his original incarnation but given his trailer makes up the bulk of his body, this is forgivable and perhaps even to be expected.

*‘Roduimus – what HAVE you been eating?!’*

Both characters carry a Matrix of Leadership within them in their Prime modes. Optimus’ one resides in his chest as to be expected, however Rodimus looks like he is trying to digest his.

Robot Modes – The little fellas

Hot Rod looks quite nice and looks pretty much most other incarnations of the character from recent years. Here the yellow fins are quite proportional. The Orion Pax toy looks more like he did in the original G1 cartoon than any other Orion toy I have seen to date – the screen dominating his chest piece and the sculpted head going a long way towards doing so. The larger rifles from the bigger bots split in half to become two guns apiece for their precarnations, which works well for Hot Rod in particular. Once again there is decent poseability here and the proportions are nice.

The only thing – why do they both look so serious and miserable? If I remember they were both pretty happy characters before being dumped into their leadership roles.

Prime Vehicle Modes

Optimus Prime

Always nice to get an Optimus’ sporting a trailer. The back of the truck cab has a lot of kibble and looks frankly bollocks from the side and back but the front view is fine. It lacks the big grey smokestacks that the robot has – it’s odd that the robot mode has truck kibble that is not used for the actual truck. The trailer looks quite good and you can imbed his rifle in the middle. The toy rolls and mauvers well.

Rodimus Prime

*‘Cybertronian Winnebago’ – for when Mini-Cons retire and hit the road*

There have only been a handful of Rodimus Prime toys so not that many with trailers. Besides the Masterpiece version I think that this is the best of the lot of them vehicle wise. The Cybertronian Winnebago is faithfully represented, though there is a fair old gap between the overhang of the trailer at the front and the vehicle underneath. When transforming into this mode one needs to make sure that you get every tab in nice and tight before moving on to the next step, otherwise the next set of table will not align properly. Getting the tab from the bottom of the trailer into the top of the car is very hard to get tight.

***For the first time in history, I prefer Rodimus to Optimus***

Precarnation Vehicle Modes

I won’t even bother with Orion Pax’s here since he doesn’t have one. It’s simply Optimus’ truck cab without the trailer attached. A bit disappointing, I know he didn’t show an alt-mode in the cartoon on which he is based but it has been widely accepted since then that he turns into a Kup-esque vehicle. So let’s look at Hot Rod.

*22 years later and it’s still a sexy alt-mode!*

To get Hot Rod into his vehicle mode all one needs to do is remove the trailer and reposition the arms/doors on the sides of the vehicle – that’s it. But nevertheless it works and it’s a good sized alt-mode, looking a fair bit bigger than most deluxe versions of the character in recent years.

Overall

Look, these aren’t perfect toys. The backpacks on the Prime modes that carry their precarnations are fairly bulky and Orion really could have used his own alt-mode. It also would have been nice if the trailers had battlebase-modes for the smaller bots to use. However these are fairly minor quibbles in the grand scheme of things. These toys trot out a very clever idea with the Evolution concept – makes one wonder if they could somehow make a Megatron that turns into Galvatron or a Bumblebee that turns into Goldbug. Both kids and older fans of the original series are really going to get a lot of enjoyment out of these figures! Well done Hasbro – a fantastic start to your new toyline indeed!

Got anything to add to this review? Would love to read it in the comments section below!

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Meme Madness!

January 15, 2018 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

Yes, even Big Angry Trev cannot resist making a meme now and then. Some are Dad humor, some are Transformer themed, all are mildly entertaining – enjoy!