Monthly Archives: November 2017

Transformatorium, Transformer Toy Reviews

Toy Review – The Last Knight Infernocus

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The Quintessons have been a part of Transformers lore since the much-beloved 1986 animated movie.  They went on to feature heavily in season 3 of the G1 cartoon as well as make appearances in the Marvel, Dreamwave and IDW comics.  In non-print media the only outings we have seen for these multi-tentacled menaces have been the character Alpha Q in the Energon cartoon and a passing reference by Swindle in the Animated cartoon.  Therefore I was very happy to see them crop up in the live-action movie series.

I may be small but I tote a big gestalt!

In the 2017 movie The Last Knight, we are introduced to one of the Transformers creators – Quintessa, who has herself a big beefy enforcer named Infernocus.  Later in the movie we see that Infernocus is actually a combiner – made up of 6 identical Infernicons.  Thankfully, unlike many characters, Infernocus has been blessed with an actual toy so today we will be looking at the The Last Knight Infernocus figure.

Unlike the movie, where there are six identical Infernicons that make up this gestalt, the toy is made up by five different figures.  Four of these are recolours of toys from the Beast Hunters Terrorcon Predacon team that make up Abominus.  Each of these figures has remained essentially the same, except for a uniform black & red paintjob and the removal of their individual weapons.

Rupture

Thrash

Gorge

Glug

These reworked figures serve reasonably well in their new roles as Infernicons, though with the exception of their colour schemes they do not particularly resemble their counterparts from the live action movie. However an added bonus to them is that unlike the movie they actually have alt-modes – monstrous beasts that adds a lot of extra play value to the set.

 

Skulk

The torso component character from the Terrorcon Predacon set – Hun-Gurrr – has been replaced by a brand new figure  Skulk.  Unlike the limb component characters, Skulk does not have an alt-mode.  This is in my opinion is forgivable.  Hun-Gurrr, the previous torso character of the set, was the same size as the limb characters which made Abominus look rather silly.  Skulk is over twice the size of Hun-Gurrr and adds much needed bulk to the set, making their combined form of Infernocus approximate in size to Voyager-class figures.  On his own Skulk looks pretty cool and works quite well as a representation of Infernocus on his own when put alongside smaller figures, especially his master – Quintessa.

 

Quintessa

Quintessa herself is a very small translucent figure and is the only toy representation of this major character from the live action movie.  She has nice little details but when I ordered this set I didn’t realise quite how small she was.  Make sure you put her somewhere safe as the potential to lose her is extreme!

 

Transformation

The  individual figures are relatively simplistic.  Combining the Infernicons into Infernocus is quite fiddly.  Due to the colour schemes of all 5 figures being so uniform black it can be hard to ascertain which piece you are putting where.  Also the set does not lend itself to the relatively simplistic combinations from sets like from Combiner Wars such as Computron and Sky Reign.  Don’t get me wrong – you wont have an aneurism of frustration here but at the same time it can be fiddly.

 

Overall

This is actually quite a nice figure and I am very pleased with it.  Unlike the Terrorcon Predacon combiner from Beast Hunters I will be keeping Infernocus in his combined mode.  Given the sparsity of official Quintesson-affiliated figures from the toyline over the past 31 years I’m very glad to add him to my collection.

 

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Random Reviews

Movie Review – My Little Pony

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My Little Pony, much like its boyish counterpart – The Transformers, has a generations spanning popularity.  Despite the 5 to 12 age range on the boxes, just as Transformers is not just for little boys, My Little Pony is not just for little girls.  And now, like The Transformers, My Little Pony has hit the big screen!

My daughters wall

Now let me start off by saying I know waaaay more about MLP than any self-respecting 40 year old male should.  As the househusband I watch it with my two kids when it comes on TV at 8.30am every morning after their mother goes to work. In fact I probably know almost every episode from Season 4 onwards off by heart!    Whilst my daughter loves Fluttershy and my son and wife both love Pinkie Pie, I’m most definitely a Rarity man, whom I find really sexy amusing, especially when she throws a drama queen fit.  I also really like DJ Pon3 for some reason, she is just so cool!  The cartoon itself is really well done, it’s thoroughly amusing on many levels and I defy anyone to watch the 100th episode special from season 5 and not crack up laughing!  Fantastic battle scenes, great music, an interesting and ever expanding cast – in fact I can confidently say it’s probably one of the best kids cartoons out there today.  As such I was hoping for a lot from the movie when I took my family to see it …

 

But it looked so cheerful!

… but sadly it did not deliver.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s certainly not a bad movie.  But if you are familiar with the cartoon this feels like they have watered it down for the movie rather than beefing it up.  A good way would be to compare them to ice cream.  The cartoon is triple-raspberry swirl with rainbow sprinkles – delicious and exciting!  The movie is a bowl of vanilla – certainly nice enough and you may even want a second helping but you aren’t going to rave about it to your friends.

The storyline is very formulaic, but given the target audience for this flick that is forgivable.  All the ponies are gathered for a giant party being organised by the heroine of the show Twilight Sparkle, when the bad guys turn up, capture the other 3 Princesses of Equestria and enslave the Pony race. Cue Twilight and her friends escaping, meeting new comrades in their search for help, then returning to defeat the big bad, turn an enemy into a friend (cause Friendship is Magic dontcha know) and bring freedom back to the land.  I think even most young kids, whom this movie is primarily aimed at, could predict what would happen next in a very by-the-numbers plot.

 

Sadly, everything that happens feels like a sanitized version of the cartoon, designed to have the broadest appeal by ‘playing it safe’ .  The one argument between friends (Twilight finally after all these years gets a gutful of Pinkie Pie) is very short and undramatic, as opposed to some of the larger Rarity & Applejack spats from television.  Likewise the music, which should be a major highlight in a movie like this, lacks punch and is not particularly catchy.  The 2014 Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks has far superior music that sticks in the head and keeps you humming for days.  The animation, which given the world the storyline is set in had the potential to dazzle, suffers from bland backgrounds, though these are necessitated by the storyline sending the ponies through deserts and other sparse locals.  Tempest Shadow is a pretty cool bad guy with her sparking broken horn and is rounded out fairly well on the whole.  However her boss, The Storm King, is a predictable character who is frankly neither scary or amusing, despite the writers trying to portray him as both.

 

There is not much character development here.  Given the cartoon is in its seventh season perhaps it was felt there is not much more for the 7 stars of the show to grow into.  It would have been nice for the girls to at least use their different abilities in significant ways to aid the plot.  Rarity’s entire contribution consists of performing a 2 second fix on a coat, earning them a friend in a roguish cat which in turn ends up giving Spike his only interesting thing to do in the movie – being used by said cat as a flamethrower.  Rainbow Dash awakens the buccaneering spirit of some air pirates, but her signature sonic-rainboom does nothing but give their position away to the bad guys.  Applejack and Fluttershy sadly bring nothing at all to the plot and in fact the movie could have easily been done without them.  None of the characters really engage in the kind of humorous banter that makes the cartoon so funny and don’t really bounce off each other, mainly they just react to events and – in the case of Fluttershy at least – look scared.

(my t-shirt) Should have just let these two handle the problem

The two stars of the movie from the regular cast are Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle.  Pinkie serves as the anchor of the group, being too silly-headed to have her spirit brought low by the various precarious predicaments. Meanwhile Twilight allows herself to lose hope but in the end, predictably, uses the spirit of Friendship to win Tempest Shadow over the side of good and defeat The Storm King.

 

So is this movie worth watching?  Well again, it’s like a bowl of vanilla ice cream.  You will enjoy it but you will soon forget you consumed it afterwards.  I laughed out loud a couple of times but sadly my two young kids never did.  Given the price of a movie ticket these days you can easily wait for this to be released on DVD and in the meantime get your MLP on with the brilliant cartoon instead.

One day Rarity my sweet, one day we will be together!

This movie gets 3 out of 5 party cannons.

 

 

Got something to say about this movie?  Would love to read it in the comments section below!

 

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Tales of the Trev

Big Old Trev turns 40

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There are lots of cool ages.  When you turn 18 you are legally an adult – able to get pissed and drive at will (even if not at the same time).  When you turn 21 it usually signals finishing your higher education and departing off into the big world.  When you turn 30, it’s a celebration of surviving all the stupid shit you did in your teens and twenties.

When you turn 40 however – it just means you are f*cking old

‘C’mon Reaper you bastard!’

Well loyal readers, today I turn 40.  And I can confirm it is not a cool age to turn.  No teenager thinks turning the big Four Oh will be fun and they are right.  I don’t feel cool, I don’t feel special, I don’t feel like I am on the cusp on a great adventure.  What I do feel is a tiredness in my limbs, a soreness in my back and a general irritation with the world.

(Writers note: I wrote the above a few days beforehand so I would have this piece ready.  Now it’s the actual day I’ve been spoiled rotten by my family and received a slew of well wishes from people so it is actually making my day pretty damn cool.   However it would ruin the theme of the piece so lets just pretend I’m still not feeling special eh?) 

So what the hell happened?  How did this happen to me?  I mean, I remember being young and looking at people like me, thinking why and how could they give up?!  And young Trev is still inside, looking out through these tired old eyes, feeling like a young man trapped in an old farts body.  I used to party all night and play video games all day.  I used to sleep with stranger’s, drink and smoke near anything passed my way, get into fights with buddies and then wake up the next day feeling a million bucks to do it all over again.  Now I go to bed sober at a decent hour and I still wake up tired.  What. Happened. To.  Me?

 

In fact, let’s have a look at the progression of my life in some key categories.

 

Drinking

Teens: Any alcohol our fake ID’s could get us

Twenties: Scotch & Cokes at the pub

Thirties: Beers with mates

…and now: Cup’o’Soup before bed

 

Music

Dancin’ machine!

Teens: Whatever was on MTV

Twenties: Whatever was on Rage

Thirties: Whatever was on Triple J

…and now: ‘Hey Diddle Diddle, the cat and the fiddle’

 

Parties

Most innocent party pic I could find

Teens: Getting pissed at 18th’s

Twenties: Getting munted at 21st’s

Thirties: Dinner parties with friends

…and now: Driving my kids to other children’s birthdays

 

Work

My brief stint as a night porter in Scotland

Teens: Below minimum wage at a fruit shop

Twenties: Minimum wage Security Guard

Thirties: Decently paid Departmental Employee

…and now: I clean my wife’s house

 

Travel

I miss you Rome!

Teens: Interstate trips to theme parks

Twenties: Backpacked around Europe

Thirties: Honeymoon to Vanuatu

…and now: To the shops and back

 

Video Games

How the times have changed

Teens: Street Fighter II on the Super Nintendo

Twenties: Halo on the Xbox

Thirties: Fall of Cybertron on the PS3

…and now: Hoping for a nap while my son plays the PS4

 

Women

Fictitious women love me!

Teens: I made my girlfriends laugh

Twenties: I made the ladies swoon

Thirties: I made my wife smile

…and now: I make my daughters bed

 

It first really sunk in I was getting older about 3 years ago.  Back in my twenties, when I had a gleam in my eye, an ever-present bulge in my trousers and a six-pack under my shirt, I used to get my hair elaborately done at the hairdressers at least every six weeks.  I used to really enjoy it too; I always had two or three of the young women on staff hanging about while I made them laugh and unashamedly flirted.  Used to walk out looking great, feeling great and more often than not having charmed my way into getting a nice big discount.

Three years ago I was getting my tips done blond when the hairdresser said ‘Oh it’s so great when men your age get this done – my step-father gets his done and it really helps hide the grey’.

‘No really, its my natural hair colour’

The look of horror on my face said it all as I had been unaware that I had any grey hairs!  Also, this girl was comparing me to her father figure?!  Yep – if I had dusted off my old flirt-circuits she would have no doubt classified me as an old creep and locked the door as I left – no discounts for old fart Trev.

 

So are there any upsides to getting this old?  The main three I can think of are that you are less of a dickhead, less inclined to tolerate bullshit and are more self-reliant.  These days I actually think before I open my mouth to say whatever random thought passes through this oddly-wired brain of mine, and getting naked in public is truly a thing of the past.  I won’t cop shit or tolerate bullshit – I quit a job because of something that happened to me and I knew that if I continued to work there my self-respect wouldn’t allow me to look in the mirror anymore – that was a very depressing time for me.  As for self-reliance, it may have taken me decades longer than some males but now I only call a tradie as a last resort.  I always try to build it or fix it myself and if I can’t then I watch how the tradie does it so I can do it myself from that point on.

 

So today for the first time I look in the mirror and a forty year old man looks back at me.  It’s been a helluva ride.  I’ve traveled the world and learned how to order a beer in a dozen languages.  I’ve had a Uni Radio Show, appeared on Television, Sworn on the Big Screen and done Stand-Up Comedy at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.  I’ve been painfully thin then fat then buff then… kinda flowing.  I’ve lived in Melbourne and London and even returned to the Mallee for a while. I’ve lost my parents but had children of my own.   I’ve become the sum of my experiences…. which somehow has turned me into a Blog Writing, Hobby Farming, Househusband and Father who spends his days looking after his kids and propagating plants.  Doesn’t sound much but really when you think about it, having a loving wife, beautiful son & daughter, a big house in the hills (even if it’s not mine) and only working for others when I feel like it – I may have not become the megastar I thought I would but I could have done a lot worse that’s for sure.

 

So what pearls of wisdom have I learned that can prepare others for turning the big Four Oh?  Well… none.  Nada, Zip, Zippo.  It’s going to affect each one of you differently.  I can’t say it feels any different to being 39 and to be honest in my head I’m still 25.  All I can say is that yes, the concept of turning forty sucks…

…but it’s better than the alternative 😉

 

Are you about to turn forty or already have?  Would love to commiserate with you in the comments section below!

 

Retraction: I have been contacted and instructed to remove certain opinions from this blog.  Due to my leaving the comments in question so vague (no names, places, dates, any specifics at all) it has lead to someone mistakenly believing the comments referred to them.  Therefore to avoid continued accidental offense the instructions received have been followed; the opinions are officially and publicly retracted and have been permanently removed from this site.  bigangrytrev.com apologizes for any misunderstanding regarding this matter.