That’s right – everyone favorite blogger will be making a personal appearance at the Penrith Collectormania Toy & Hobby Fair on Sunday October 15th from noon onwards. Trev will be kissing hands and shaking babies as he meets his adoring public.
For you long time fans, this is your chance to meet your one true hero in the flesh – and win a great prize!
‘I look forward to meeting you almost as much as you look forward to meeting me’
All you have to do is spot me at the fair, come up and introduce yourself with “You Big Beautiful Blogging Bastard You!”
Anyone who introduces themselves in such a fashion will win a photocopied poster from Trev’s infamous 2003 Edinburgh Fringe Festival comedy show ‘The Many faces of Big (Angry) Trev’. Trev will not only sign your poster, but you can choose the poster colour – white, yellow, pink, blue or green!
Rare memorabilia ahoy!
Be the envy of all your friends and family and prepare to bask in the reflected glory of Big Blogger Trev – at the Penrith Panthers Pavilion on Mulga Road. See you there!
Disclaimer:
*Any actions taken by Big Angry Trev when meeting him are to be considered purely circumstantial, do not represent BigAngryTrev™ and are therefore not subject to litigation. *Anything said by Big Angry Trev – be it sexist, homophobic or incredibly racist – does not reflect the views of BigAngryTrev™ and cannot be subject to litigation. *Any liquids physically excreted by Big Angry Trev can be considered the property of BigAngryTrev™ and should not be ingested by the general public under threat of litigation.
Before we moved, both our children went to daycare two days a week which guaranteed chances to socialize with other kids their age. Since coming to the mountains my son has started Preschool, but with me being a househusband it makes no sense to pay to put our 2 year old daughter in daycare so she stays at home with me.
I worried that she was no longer getting to socialize with other kids in her age bracket (she is 2 ½) so was heartened to hear there was a Storytime Playgroup at the local library. I’m a big library nut and our kids love reading and being read to. In fact, we have a policy in our house – unless what we are currently doing is super important, if one of our kids brings us a book and asks to be read to, we down tools and read to them there and then. A love of literacy – every parent should encourage this in their kids.
What story time should look like
So after dropping my son at Preschool, I took my daughter up to the Storytime Playgroup at the library which was due to start at 10am. I was initially heartened to see I was not the only male there, there was at least one other bloke there who has come along with his wife and two boys. But that was where the good impressions ended.
I thought that the sign said ‘Storytime Playgroup’, not f*cking ‘Bogan Junk Food Picnic!’
Let me give ya a rundown of the 4 other families there.
Group 1: The Chubbies
Mr & Mrs ‘Yes we will have fries with that’. Both of them looking comical sitting on little kids chairs which their massive arses spread over the edges of like spilled pancake batter. Their 2 bulbous boys were given pack after pack of Chocolate Tiny Teddies, I’m not sure their mastication ever stopped!
Group 2: The Lone Texter
Did this woman even have a kid? I don’t know, I assume one of the ones running around unfettered was hers. I never saw her take her eyes off her phone. She just sat on her prolific posterior on the floor, leaning her back against a bookshelf (I think sitting up would have been too much exercise for her) staring at her phone, alternating between texting and checking social media. I’m guessing literacy is a closed book to her.
Group 3: The Mongoloids
This woman had three kids with her, guessing their ages ranged between 30 and 48 months. However all 3 still had dummies in their mouths and I’m guessing they won’t be weaned off them any time soon. She also had them on tethers – you know those awful backpack things with a long rope attached so kids won’t run away in crowds? She had these on all her kids and whenever one got a bit far away she would angrily snap some verbal instruction and then physically snap on the cord even harder, bringing the kid backwards towards her to land on their arse and cry throughout the next story.
Group 4: The Brits
Now here was the only other parent present who was of normal human proportions. But given what she was feeding her kids frankly this was a surprise. This Pommie lady, as soon as she sat with her three kids, brought out a multipack bag of Cheetos Cheese & Bacon Balls. She then dispensed the smaller packs within to her 3 kids, the youngest of which could not have been more than 18 months old.
Apparently a part of any toddlers nutritious breakfast
So by the time the librarian came out and started to read, all the kids were either that busy eating absolute shit that they couldn’t hear her over their own chewing, or they were literally reaching the end of their tether and then crying their pudgy little arses off!
What the f*ck was going on!?!
Now don’t get me wrong, I give my kids treats now and then. Today for instance it’s been a hot sunny day so I took them to the park for an hour, then on the way home we all got ice creams. But that kind of sugary snack is a treat,not the norm. I’m proud to say the amount of sugary treats my kids get each week you could count on one hand. If they want a snack at home, fruit is what is always on offer, with the occasional seaweed cracker. Banana’s, strawberries, pears, apples, mandarins, oranges – this is what my kids have for a snack.
And since when did it become OK to eat in a library anyway? Last I checked when you go into a library you put your phone on silent and leave all food and drinks in your bag. You don’t treat it like you are at a AC/DC concert and chow down on crappy junk food while you watch the show!
A good rule – FOLLOW IT!
I hadn’t brought any snacks for my daughter and she was staring at all the other kids food. The British lady with the facial piercings offered us one of her little multipacks and I politely declined. As nice a gesture as it was, I was still mentally indulging in some extreme judgment of her and it would have made me a complete hypocrite to accept, even if it would have made my daughter happy.
So yeah, stories got read but hardly anyone heard them or paid attention. A little craft exercise was done which ran more smoothly, though I noted most parents doing all the work for their kids while the children idly watched, rather than coactively helping their kids do it for themselves. Then Playgroup was finished.
I left there with a bit of a heavy heart. Given our remote location the only other playgroups for little kids are run by the local churches and my skin starts to burn and smoke whenever I step on consecrated ground. So that means I am going to have to go back as I can’t let my own judgmental attitude stop my daughter having this bi-weekly activity.
But by f*ck – if I had my way I’d be telling all these cattle to do their f*cking grazing at home!
Got something to add? Would love to read it in the comments section below!
The Combiner Wars brought back a love of gestalts to the Transformer franchise that other lines like the Power Core Combiners failed to do. Despite the main line having moved onto Titans Return, we expect to see more combiner teams as part of the 2018 Power of the Primes toyline.
The Decepticon combiners characters were – lets face it – always a lot more interesting and popular than the Autobot ones. The likes of Superion and Defensor were there so their Decepticon counterparts had someone to ultimately be beaten by. In recent years, as well as in Combiner Wars, we’ve seen a lot of those Decepticons crop up in other lines. We had Devastator in Revenge of the Fallen, Bruticus in Fall of Cybertron and even Abominus in Beast Hunters. Well now it’s Menasor’s turn with the Stunticons making their debut, both in the cartoon and toyline, as part of the Robots in Disguise Combiner Force franchise.
Now RID(15) has had some pretty damn underwhelming toys. Most figures seem to suffer from cheap construction and overly simplsitc mechanics and transformations. And sadly, the Stunticons continue this trend.
‘We exist to make your G1 toys look good’
Only Motormaster and Drag Strip are present from the original lineup. They are now joined by Slashmark, Heatseeker and Wildbreak. Having Wildbreak instead of Breakdown is kinda forgivable, considering this is the same universe as the Prime cartoon in which Breakdown died several years ago. However having Heatseeker and Slashmark feels lazy. Heatseeker is so close in looks to the Combiner WarsOffroad that Hasbro missed a great opportunity to cement him as a new character in the classic team. Likewise Slashmark is just Heatseeker with blue highlights instead of red. This spot could easily have been filled by Dead End, Wildrider or the other new Stunticon from CW – Blackjack.
All limb characters are sadly simplistic, requiring only 1 or 2 minor moves to go from Vehicle to Robot – both modes looking quite average. Articulation is non-existent. Motormaster however has been a bit better engineered and I quite like his alt-mode, very remincient of RID(01) Ultra Magnus.
‘I gots me a trailer again!’
But like his smaller partners, articulation is a quality sorely lacking in his robot mode.
And speaking of his robot mode, lets take a look at his bonce. Oh they got the square helmet just right but look at the face within…
‘BOO!’
That’s bloody Megatron!WTF?! That’s Megs from the Prime cartoon – my oath it is! Once you realize this, it makes a lot of the similarities in the head and shoulders of Menasor to Magatronus all the more apparent.
Menasor’s combined mode looks ok, though a big gangly. Here we have the only bit of articulation in any of the figures, that being that Menasor can raise his arms (which sorely lack elbows) which allows him to hold his sword up.
‘By the power of Grayskull!’
Now some of these characters have also been released separately to the main group. I’ve seen Heatseeker as a 1-step changer in the shops, though personally I always find them to be poor toys so I passed. But I did grab the Drag Strip/Wildbreak 2-pack.
Now these characters really are no better enginnered here than with the main pack. Also somewhere in the process they have confused the characters. Wildbreak was obviously supposed to be Drag Strip considering he has a Drag Strip’ish alt-mode. My suspicion of this was confirmed when I checked out the instructions.
Caught out
This is really just an unforgivably lazy mistake by the manufacturer. But then these are lazy toys. These figures also have no articulation in robot mode and their vehicle modes, particularly Drag Strip, are very uninspired.
Whilst their combined form of DragBreak looks pretty cool, his static pose does not offer much play value.
“DragBreak – my name sounds like what your Dad used to do at work around mid-morning. But then Wild Strip would make me sound like what your mum did to earn her way through college’
Now I’ve been pretty hard on these toys and it’s hard not to be. However in fairness they are no worse than most of the RID line so one should know what they are getting into with their purchase. The prices are much better too if you are buying for kids – you can get a whole Menasor here for the same cost of two limb characters from CW. Their combined modes have a certain style and unlike many of the other CF figures they actually do combine. But unless like me you are a complete Stunticon nut these toys are an easy pass for your average collector.
Got something to say about these figures? Would love to read it in the comments section below!
There are certain laws of the universe that one considers immutable – one of the main ones I have always had no reason to doubt is cause and effect. If you do A, then it will cause B to happen. If you throw a ball in the air, it will come down again. If you stick your hand in the fire, it will be burned.
So if you have a room in which you use nothing but cleaning products, then ergo that room should be nothing but clean!
Seriously, why the f*ck are bathrooms exempt from the rules of cause and effect?! I’ve tidied plenty of bathrooms plenty of times but before today, in my new role as househusband, I’d never cleaned one before. Oh sure it looks clean enough, but when you get up close the friggin things are filthy!
‘Soap SCUM?! Since when is soap scummy? It doesn’t conduct phone scams does it?’
Why are they filthy? HOW are they filthy?! I took a look at all the products we have in our bathroom:
SCENTED SOAP
FOAMING CLENSER
ANTISEPTIC LISTERINE
FACIAL SCRUB
BODY WASH
Look at all the words contained within! Those are words associated with cleaning. It should be the cleanest damn room in the house!
And the bath! How can the bath be filthy?! You fill it full of hot soapy water and then drain that straight down a damn plughole! I come out cleaner after being in the bath, the kids come out cleaner after being in the bath – why doesn’t the bath come out cleaner from being within itself?!
It’s bloody madness is what it is! I spent over an hour cleaning the bathroom today and I still have the floor to mop!
Well, enough of that – I’m not going to be suckered twice! From now on I’m hosing the kids off in the yard, the wife can shower at work and as for me, well I’ll just stand downwind of people as a courtesy. Because a world where soap makes things dirtier just doesn’t make sense to me – it seems to be a joke played by a capricious universe that just wants to f*ck with my househusband brain.
Go to hell Bathroom – you porcelain-toting bastard you!
Have you encountered this freak of household nature yourself? Tell us about it in the comments section below!
After 16 years of being a department employee, Big Angry Trev has retired to his country estate up in the mountains to embark on a career of plant propagation. Only one problem with that…
… his wife has gone back to work full time which means he needs to care for the house as well as their two small children.
This is the first of many tales about his new career as a househusband.
Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
An axiom to live by, one I have tried to embody but by no means have ever been its poster child.
With the wife going back to work its put me in the new position as househusband, a relatively unfamiliar role. Being a bit lost at sea I thought perhaps I should go with “what I used to wish my wife would do for me when I was the breadwinner” and go from there.
I remember what I always wanted. It consisted of:
Bacon, eggs & coffee in the morning
A packed lunch
A big dinner waiting with a cold beer for when I get home
A bit of peace
A shag
If I remember correctly, sometimes I used to get a coffee.
Now my wife’s proclivities are not quite the same as mine but I thought the ‘do unto others’ angle worth perusing. To this end in the first week I did the following:
In the mornings
I made my wife a cup of coffee just the way she likes it.
I packed her lunch for her which changed daily but always included:
– Two types of fruit
– A variety of biscuits
– A drink such as a can of cola or a flavored breakfast milk
– A sandwich that always contained at least one form of dairy, meat and/or egg
– Occasionally a thermos of soup
I then made the children’s breakfast and generally kept them out of her hair as she prepared for the day. Then it was kisses goodbye and well-wishes for the day ahead as she drove off.
In the evenings
Dinner was always on cooking when she arrived home, and always a recipe I knew she enjoyed.
A glass of chilled wine was held in my outstretched hand.
The children awaited her – clean, fresh faced and eager to tell her about their days activities. Sometimes they held flowers we had picked for her that day.
After dinner I would whisk the kids off to bathe whilst she watched her evening shows.
When the children went to sleep I had my ‘bedroom eyes’ on and something sexy underneath my dressing gown in case she needed some ‘stress relief’ from her hard day.
Omelette made from organic, free range duck eggs- Mr Perfection over here!
Of course, that was me in the first week of being a househusband. So far in the second week:
She got a glass of half-flat wine on Monday, and only then because there was some leftover from a bottle on the weekend.
Tuesday the kids and I slept in so she had to make her own damn lunch.
Wednesday the kids were filthy because they had been traipsing around the farm with me while I fixed a pump at the creek and we ate red meat because that’s what I wanted.
No hot dinner at all waiting Thursday as I needed her to bring home groceries to make it.
Today on Friday the sexy underwear got put back in the bottom draw, since it seems to have caused more bemusement than arousal over the last fortnight
Big Angry Trev’s version of ‘subtly seductive’
So the first lesson I have learned as a Househusband is:
“It’s easy to start with perfection, but impossible to maintain it”
Hmmm… maybe this gig won’t be as easy as I first thought.
Got something to say? Would love to read it in the comments section below!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Well to be honest we don’t bloody know what it’s supposed to be! Let’s try to find out together dear readers as we examine Deluxe Sized, Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force Twinferno (a double mouthful eh!)
Try and find which ‘Year of the…’ this figure represents
Robot Mode
Coolest. Gloves. Ever.
A basic enough looking robot. Like all other Doublecross Twinferno toys you have the dragon heads as the hands which always looks cool. The red is too garish and makes his head blend in with the rest of his body too much. You can swivel the head to pose him in different positions but his shoulders are that high that it looks weird unless he is really looking forward. The flame pieces can be placed in the dragon heads to make them look like they are breathing fire. They can also be put in the holes under the dragon’s chins but this doesn’t really look great.
Flame on!
Alt-Mode
‘What am I? I’m having a double-identity crisis!’
Ok, what the hell is this supposed to be? Did G1 Doublecross and G2 Dreadwing smoke some bad Energon one night and come up with this weird amalgamation of themselves, with Tony Stark coming in at the last minute and saying “throw a bit of Hot Rod red in there”? I mean seriously – this thing is weird! It’s not a stealth bomber (definitely not with that colour scheme!) and it’s not a twin-headed dragon. Instead it’s a weird Fuzor-esque hybrid of the two that looks like it’s out of some weird futuristic Chinese mythology. I guess if you imagined it in real life it would be kinda badass, a bomber flying over the city with two dragon heads hanging off the front writhing and spewing flames, and indeed the heads/necks are maneuverable in this mode. The flames are supposed to come out the back to show his speed, but once again you can put them coming out of the mouth.
‘It’s a medical condition – don’t you judge me!’
Transformation
Like all RID toys this figure is almost insultingly easy which makes it great for a young kid but certainly lessens the appeal for the older collectors.
Worth your money?
It seems that obscure characters get these little resurgences sometimes. A few years ago it was Guzzle who was showing up in the Movie and Kre-O lines as well as the IDW comics. Now its Doublecross Twinferno showing up in the Titans Return, Tiny Titans and RID lines. Odd actually that the Tiny Titans version, despite being a subline of RID, is based on the G1/TR version. Speaking of which, if you want a cool modern representation of this character then I would definitely go the Titans Return version which is twin heads and shoulders above this one.
The cooler alternate version
Got something to say about this toy? Would love to read it in the comments section below!
The Titans Return toyline has had a peculiar quirk. To get more toy sales Hasbro has been releasing figures that obviously have other characters alt-modes before those characters get released themselves. To this end we had a Sentinel Prime which would obviously be retooled into Astrotrain and a Sky Shadow which everyone knew would become Overlord (making some people regretful they spent a fortune on Carnifex). Now the last two obvious retools have been made and we get a look at Wave 5 which was what we all wanted Wave 3 to be. So lets take a look at Blitzwing(retooled from TRMegatron) and Octone (retooled from TROptimus Prime).
Blitzwing
MISB – but not for long!
Robot Mode
‘Yes the last version of me had a longer and thicker turret, but I have a better personality’
Quite a nice looking Blitzwing and is both well proportioned and easy to pose. One thing here that is a big plus is he does not come with the shoulder issues that the Thrilling 30 version of him came with. You can remove the tank turret from his back if you don’t like it sticking up but personally I find it gives him that bit more of a G1 look. Speaking of a G1 look, its interesting that his HeadmasterTitan MasterHazard looks a lot more like the original toy than what Blitzwing looked like in the cartoon.
Tank Mode
‘Stop staring at my skinny turret I said!’
While certainly better looking than the Thrilling 30 version, he suffers from having a big gap at the front with his jet modes engines on display for all to see. Also the wings would benefit from an extra few millimeters so that they could fold properly down the sides and underneath the tank rather than jut out from the sides. I quite like the little cockpit sticks up like a blast shield instead of just hiding Hazard within.
Now you are just overcompensating Blitzwing
Jet Mode
Fans of the G1 toy rejoice!
A lot more sleek than the Thrilling 30 version. However instead of having his legs sticking up on the back its got his tank parts sticking out below, much like the G1 toy. While that’s great for display, it aint great for play and for any kid making him zoom above their heads its quite an obvious design quirk that perhaps could have been handled better.
Good if you want to risk your partner shooting you in the back of the cockpit
Octone
IDW – say goodbye to all those ‘Tall Tankor’ jokes
Robot Mode
‘Sandstorm, check it out! I’m finally Voyager-sized!’
I think probably the best looking official Octane Octone toy we have had to date (which if you count the Kre-O version makes a whopping total of 4). He has the taller shoulders reminiscent of the Universe version and the dynamic wings of the G1 version along with the squarish chest. Once again he is able to be posed fairly easily as well as good articulation. Would have been nice to see him armed with a shield instead of a second gun.
Tanker Truck Mode
Just damn cool!
Best. Taker Truck Mode. Ever. The G1 version was good but the huge arms at the sides wrecked it and you had to add the huge cover on the back whereas here it is built in. This tanker mode looks very sleek for a tanker truck, makes the odd colour scheme work well and I love the stripes at the sides. Only thing is be careful of the stripes – they are stickers, not paint – and are liable to get worn off unless you are careful during transformations. There is a small unobtrusive cockpit on the top of the tanker for Murk to ride in.
Yeah, put some cannons firing hot plasma right next to all that volatile Energon – there’s a good idea.
Cargo Plane Mode
The back is definitely not aerodynamic…
It seems all Octone toys suffer in some form from having a bit that just wont fit. With the G1 toy it was the arms in tanker truck mode (yes they weren’t great in plane mode either but at least sorta hid under the wings) and with the Universe mode it was that one of the robots arms ended in a vastly oversized melee blade that frankly looked odd at best. With this incarnation of Octone it’s the cargo plane mode. The front two-thirds look fine but he has the split truck cab sitting either side at the back, making the G1 plane vastly superior for me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice enough looking plane but certainly the weakest of his three modes.
… and now neither is the front.
Worth your money?
So are these two worth getting? For Octane Octone I’d say a definite yes. Despite the drawback of the plane modes rear it is still the best Octane toy we have had to date. Blitzwing, well, it depends if you have the Thrilling 30 version and how much you like it. Blitzwing seems destined to never have a normal head again, either sporting three faces of darkness or his skull turning into a little robot and running off. Personally I’m still glad I got him and he fits in well to my ever expanding Blitzwing family.
Got something to say about these two toys? Would love to read it in the comments section below!
