(For those not familiar with the Ozformers website, some of the guys on there and I had been running a joke campaign, parodying the US election, for me to become Member of the Year. Well I actually won! So to continue the parody here is my acceptance speech, very reminiscent of one spoken by a certain new world leader)
Looks like General Patton, sounds like Donald Trump
Thank you. Thank you very much, everyone.
I’ve just received a call from Site-Administrator Griffin.
He congratulated us — it’s about us — on our victory, and I congratulated him on a very, very hard-fought campaign. I mean, Griffin has worked very long and very hard over a long period of time, and we owe him a major debt of gratitude for his service to our website. I mean that very sincerely.
Now it’s time for Ozformers to bind the wounds of division; have to get together. To all Trevolutionaries and Griffincrats and Paulbotents across this fanbase, I say it is time for us to come together as one united people. It’s time. I pledge to every user of our land that I will be Member-of-the-year for all Ozformerians, and this is so important to me.
For those who have chosen not to support me in the past, of which there were a few people (Trent) I’m reaching out to you for your guidance and your help so that we can work together and unify our great website.
As I’ve said from the beginning, ours was not a campaign, but rather an incredible and great movement made up of several hard-working men (Sinnertwin, Starscream77, Jetfire_in_the_Sky and Mythirax) who love their website and want a better, brighter future for themselves and for their families.
It’s a movement comprised of Ozformerians from all gestalt-groups, generations and allegiances who want and expect our website to serve the people, and serve the people it will.
We are going to fix our inner sections and rebuild our threads, reviews, discussions and news stories. We’re going to rebuild our infrastructure, which will become, by the way, second to none. And we will put several of our people to work as we rebuild it.
We have a great fansite plan. We will double our growth and have the strongest user-base anywhere in the world. At the same time, we will get along with all other fanbases willing to get along with us. We expect to have great, great relationships. No dream is too big, no challenge is too great.
Nothing we want for our future is beyond our reach. Ozformers will no longer settle for anything less than the best.
We must reclaim our fansites destiny and dream big and bold and daring. We have to do that. We’re going to dream of things for our website and beautiful things and successful things once again.
I want to tell the world community that while we will always put Ozformers interests first, we will deal fairly with everyone, with everyone — all people and all other fansites. We will seek common ground, not hostility; partnership, not conflict.
And I can only say that while the campaign is over, our work on this movement is now really just beginning.
We’re going to get to work immediately for the Ozformer users. It’s been an amazing year-long period. And I love this fanbase.
Australia Day. A day to, in essence, celebrate Australia and being Australian. Seems pretty straight forward and for many years it has been. Get a day off work, have a BBQ and a beer. Catch up with a few mates – all very uncomplicated.
But now we have the internet.
Every year Australia Day seems to become more and more ‘obsessive, angry fragger on social media shitstorm day’. Don’t dare log on to Facebook or Twitter or anything else because this is what you will see:
The Far Left:“It’s Invasion Day! It shouldn’t be held on January 26th! It’s a racist day! We should all feel shame for something we have 3rd hand knowledge of!”
The Far Right:“If you don’t like Australia then f*ck off. If you don’t like our customs then f*ck off. If you don’t conform to our norms then f*ck off back to where you came from!”
Muted in the Middle
Well guess what – I’ll bet a lot of you who are not indigenous or listened to mainstream media talking about asylum seekers didn’t give a crap about all this 15 years ago! We have yuppies who have never stepped foot outside a capital city thinking that ranting on Twitter will make a difference to Aboriginal communities, instead of maybe actually jumping on a train to go visit one and lend a hand. Conversely we have yobbos yelling on Facebook that if you don’t like Australia Day and were not born here then piss off back to your own country, trying to somehow pass off blatant racism as patriotism. Seems like for the most part its Caucasians with too much free time and no real multicultural experience that are the actual problem. And most of these folk seem to be on social media trolling for someone to disagree with them so they can fly off into self-righteous tirades – oh yes, very Australian indeed.
For the record, if Aboriginal people have a problem with Australia Day and the date it’s held on, I reckon it’s probably valid. Most of the actual Indigenous commentators I’ve heard on the subject tend to be articulate and well spoken rather than simply screaming “INVASION AND MURDER!” on the streets. Let them have their say because at least they are saying it in an intelligent way. And for those who are not of indigenous heritage but are trying to highlight their issues and the inequalities inherent in society without trying to slam it down my throat I will happily listen to you as well. If the arguments are cogent I may well end up agreeing. For those that feel pride for being an Australian and want show it by hoisting the Aussie Flag on their front lawn and singing the national anthem on Australia Day, I don’t have a real problem with them either. If you aren’t bothering anyone or engaging in a ‘my country is better than yours’ mentality, go for ya life! I may even sing along with ya.
But for the Far Lefties screaming “Invasion Day” and the Far Righties screaming “Love Australia or get out!” all I can say is “Why don’t both sides shut the hell up!” Stop ruining the day for the rest of us! Many of the people that are yelling the loudest are screaming about issues that they have never been involved in and have never directly impacted on their own lives. It’s just a damn excuse for the right and left of politics to slam into each other in a big bitch-fest yetagain. People that have never said two words to an Indigenous person in real life screaming about what happened to them centuries ago and conversely people who have never been personally inconvenienced by an immigrant or asylum seeker yelling that this is our day and our country and they should all piss off home. Here is an idea, why don’t both sides go out to a big paddock somewhere armed with padded bats and beat the crap out of each other for the day, preferably causing at least enough damage to render all their hands too swollen to type and their throats too sore to rant.
You wanna know what I’ll be doing on Australia Day?
I’ll be happy I have the day off work. I’ll be happy that I live in a country that, even though it has a splotchy history and is by no means perfect today, is still pretty damn good. I’ll cook up some Aussie-style burgers with fried eggs from my chookies and some tomatoes from my vege patch along with some beef and beetroot. I’ll enjoy these with my family and maybe have a few beers from one of the smaller Aussie brewing companies. Might even chuck on JJJ’s Hottest 100 on the radio while I do some farm work. I won’t bother anyone, I won’t scream at anyone, I won’t get angry on the internet at anyone who doesn’t agree with me. In short I’ll relax, chill the hell out and enjoy that I live in a country where I have enough to eat and no one is shooting at me. Because a f*ckload of people on the planet – far too many – don’t get to enjoy those two simple luxuries.
I suggest you all do the same and maybe give the self-righteousness a rest eh? Happy Australia Day!
Do you agree or have a different opinion? As long as you can state it without a bullhorn I’d love to read it in the comments below.
Femmebots, the slang term for female Transformers, are becoming more commonplace but are still for the most part a rarity – you can count how many get released each year without taking off your socks. Rescue Bots has been the longest running single Transformers cartoon show in history and they have finally introduced a female Autobot into their admittedly rather small ensemble. Quickshadow is a very cool character, coming across as a highly competent, British-sounding spy. Being a sportscar that turns into a female robot makes Quickshadow sound like a James Bond wet dream come to life and for those of us that like to collect female Transformers sounded like a new toy to look forward to collecting.
Unfortunately what we got is perhaps one of the worst quality Transformertoys we’ve had in years.
Don’t open me up – I’ll just break your heart
However let’s start with a few positives.
Vehicle mode
A very sexy little sportscar. There is some nice detailing in the grill with the little Autobot symbol and the blue highlights on the hood, doors and hubcaps certainly pep up what would otherwise be a bland colour scheme of white and grey. Smaller than the other Rescuebots, even Blurr looks bigger.
Robot Mode
Not bad, but quite blocky. Of course this is to be expected since it is a Rescue Bots toy. However on the TV show all the other characters look quite blocky but Quickshadow is very lithe and agile looking so it is a shame they did not go to at least some effort to represent that here. Also a little more detail in the face would have been nice as well, perhaps a more defined mouth or something to show she has optics behind the big eye mask. Scale-wise she is comparable to Blurr however is smaller than all the older Rescuebots such as EnergizeHeatwave.
“Why is it on the show I look like you Arcee, but in real life I look like Margaret Thatcher’s even more butch cousin?”
Transformation.
Here is where it being a Rescue Bot is supposed to be the big seller for young TF fans but in Quickshadows case it’s the main reason not to buy this toy. There is only one thing you need to do to transform her, that being pull the front wheels out sideways – then everything is supposed to pop into place. But she jams. In fact she jams nearly every single time! And you can’t just push the wheels back in and try again. At first I thought my son was using her wrong. Then I thought we just must have gotten a dud. But a subsequent look at various ratings of the toy on Amazon and eBay has shown that this seems to be an endemic fault with the figure. There is a little spring at the top of the car’s hood which is supposed to facilitate this transformation but the spring constantly jams and to un-jam it you have to pull the hood down so hard you are certain it is going to snap. In fact I’m afraid to transform her again in case it does! This is a shameful flaw – only one moving part and they f*ck it up!? Poor form Playskool & Hasbro – poor form indeed.
Your Quickshadow toy is going to spend more time looking like this than a robot or car
Worth Getting?
No. She costs the same as the older Rescue Bot figures despite being nearly half the size and the jamming spring means that the toy is almost unusable from the get-go. I’m glad to have another Femmebot in my collection but I would say this is a contender for the worst quality Transformer I have ever come across.
Have you got this figure? Will you still get this figure after reading this review? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.
When backpacking around Europe I visited many of the world’s great art galleries. I went to The National Gallery in London and saw Van Gogh’s Sunflowers. I went to the Louvre in Paris and saw the Mona Lisa. I went to the the Museo del Prado in Madrid and had my mind turned inside out by the works of Dali. Hell, I even went to a museum in Amsterdam which seemed to house all the concrete willy’s that had been knocked off all the Italian statues during the rise of Puritism. From great galleries to the gaudy, from museums to mausoleums I’ve seen it all. So who better to take you through the latest collection of artwork to be released for the public’s perusal –Deadpool: Drawing the Merc with a Mouth
This book showcases over 20 years of Marvel Comics Art centered around everyone’s favorite degenerate assassin. When I first purchased it I thought it would be nothing but pictures but the book is actually broken up into 7 main chapters (along with an opening and a conclusion) which details the creation of Deadpool and his evolution as a character both plot-wise and artistically. There are various interviews with the people who have written Deadpool over the last 20+ years and there were some nice insights into how he was created, his surge in popularity and the very odd direction that the character was taken in.
But of course this is primarily an art book so we are treated to lots of eye candy throughout. This in itself shows the evolution of Deadpool, from a guest-starring bad guy on the front cover of early 90’s comics to the present day where he has had more ongoing titles, spin-offs and team ups than one can count.
I think what I enjoyed best here was the way that the artists could use such a ridiculous and self-lampooning character such as Deadpool to in turn lampoon other genres. From famous works of art to album covers to movie posters to even the comic covers of other super heroes (including those of DC) Deadpool brings his smart-arse style.
There is not much more I can say here as, since it is an art book, you really need to view the art rather than read someones opinion of it. But what I can do is advise you whether it is worth getting. I picked this up in a bookstore for $65(AU) and the cheapest I’ve seen it online is $56(AU) including postage. It’s a pretty hefty price tag. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I got it and I really enjoy it, but I did have a pang of buyer’s remorse walking out of the store until I had a chance to get to grips with it at home. To justify such an expense one needs to really be a fan of the Merc with a Mouth. Luckily for me I am one and if you love him too (and have the cash to spare) you will really enjoy this artistic look at a few decades of Deadpool.
When it comes to cooking, various cultures seem to have the patents on different styles. The French have their light-on-the-stomach-yet-sinfully-rich cusine. The Germans are masters of wrapping up huge hunks of quadruped in cabbage and roasting the hell out of it. The Mexicans… well…. what you can usually say about Mexican food is that it’s fun to eat!
I like Mexican food, having an almost Deadpool’esque love of the food. I’ve never actually been to Mexico so I’ve always had to deal with other countries interpretations of their food. All the Mexican restaurants I tried in Melbourne were distinctly average. In fact the only really good Mexican restaurant I’ve been to was in Edinburgh, Scotland. Since that was over a decade ago I’ve been really hankering to have good Mexican again, so was eager to try the food at Cactus Jam in Warrnambool.
What’s the best way to sum up the food at Cactus Jam? Oh yeah – you could cook it better at home! I’m a decent cook so I expect when I go to a restaurant that, since they are professionals, they should cook better than I. I’m always disappointed when I walk away from a meal thinking ‘I could have cooked that’ or even worse ‘I could have cooked that much better!’.
In Australia we get a glut of American television and it seems to be a recurring joke on sitcoms that most restaurants, be they Italian, French or whatever that they actually have a bunch of Mexicans working in the kitchen. Well, Cactus Jam could have used a few actual Mexicans in their kitchencooking the actual Mexican food. Like the German Hofbrauhaus in Melbourne, I don’t think anyone of that nationality has ever stepped foot in the place (for my review of that restaurant – see HERE).
I tried the Carne Con Chile Colarado. I love Chili Con Carne but never get to cook it at home anymore as the rest of the family isn’t keen on it, so was looking forward to bowl of restaurant quality tucker. What I got tasted exactly like those Stagg Chili cans you buy for 3 bucks at Coles. And I mean exactly! Which means either you are getting brilliant value at Coles or else Cactus Jam did a shit job. Because it was Colarado-style (which meant essentially a US-bastardized version of Mexican food) there were no beans in it at all, and though the beef was supposed to be slow-cooked, it didn’t taste anything special. I’ve made better, and I’m sure with minimal effort you could too.
Believe it or not – this is the meal, not the diarrhea of the previous customer though the taste equates to the same.
My wife got the Chicken and Beef Fajitas. At least these came with two types of meat and lots of different side foods and sauces to apply so they were fun to make. That’s about it for all the positives you can say about it. Much like the their Chili tasting like a can of Stagg, these tasted like the chefs just grabbed a bunch of Old El Paso packs from the supermarket and took their cues from there. You could make these at home no sweat and probably better than Cactus Jam did.
Mexican Flag equals authentic Mexican Food… apparently.
Mexican Beers
At least the restaurant seemed to have a few authentic Mexican beers on the drinks list, even if they seemed to pick the shittiest ones. Mexican beer is like Mexican food, it doesn’t have a stellar reputation but it is possible to get good stuff. I tried the Cave Creek Chili Beer. I’ve had Chili Beer before (to see me drinking it along with 15 different Hot Sauces see my video HERE) and know it’s not the tastiest but decided to give this a go as it had an actual chili floating in it which I thought was very cool!
Worst. Beer. Ever! I mean it – it was quite literally worst beer I have ever drunk in my life! It was filthy! It made the Dos Equis Larger I had next (a decidedly average beer) taste like manna from heaven in comparison.
So worth going to Cactus Jam?
No. No its not. The food is crap, you could cook better at home or at the very least make food its equal out of a can or pack. They have Mexican beers but seemed to stock up on all the shittiest ones. The only thing you could say about the place is that you don’t have to do the dishes – but I don’t think that warrants the expensive price tag. Mexican? More like Mexican’t! Heh – I wonder if I’m the first person to think of that pun? Probably not but I’m proud of it!
Eaten there and have a different opinion? Tell us in the comments below.
Multiverse theory states that if it is possible for a world to exist then somewhere it must exist. That there are many parallel universes to our own, consisting of worlds different than that on which we live.
Consider Cheeseworld – a world comprised entirely of cheese. What would we find there? Would the moon indeed be made of cheese? Would the Earth be made out of a Hard Dry Jack for the various cheese creatures to walk and graze upon. Imagine if you will herds of majestic Goat and Yak cheeses grazing under the Peppercon cheddar trees by a flowing river of Runny Blue.
Would the people there have the different nationalities that we have? Would there be the Swiss Cheese people? Would the American Cheese people be policing the rest of Cheeseworld? Would the Regal Blend which is headed by the Red Windsor stand proud in the nation of Aged English Cheddar?
Would people worship the great Gouda in the sky?
I set out in search of the mythical Cheeseworld, the entrance to which was rumored to be found at the end of the Great Ocean Road in Victoria, Australia. My thoughts chased themselves in circles and my hands visibly shook at the idea of finding an inter-dimensional portal through which I may enter this world of cheese and explore a strange and alien new land.
Instead I found a tourist stop in Allansford consisting of a café, cheese shop and little museum.
Worst. Interdimensional Portal. Ever.
No cheese people. Not even people dressed up as cheese characters! No Tommy Nooka from the Mighty Boosh with his cheese head or Montgomery Jack from Rescue Rangers. The walls are made of brick instead of brie. I come to the sad conclusion that this will not be a grand adventure into the unknown but decide to make the best of it.
Cheeseworld consists of a café, which has distinctly average food (though the Cheeseworld Cheeseburger is excellent – read the review HERE). Next to this is a little shop area which has one isle of cheese related products such as cheese boards and cheese slicers but the rest is made up of the usual touristy crap they sell people from overseas on coach tours. Behind this is the proper cheese area. There is a tasting bar with 5 types of cheese on offer and a fridge along the back row with quite a decent selection of cheeses to choose from. My wife stopped my purchasing of the Buffalo’s Milk Cheese but I did get away with purchasing some Wild Wasabi Cheese which has a real bite and goes well with beer. We also picked up some of the Warrnambool Heritage Creamy Colby that had been damn nice from the tasting area as well as Lochard Camembert. They also sold a lot of foods that go well with cheese such as kabana, various German sausages and of course wine.
Behind Cheeseworld is the Cheese Museum. Some of the equipment showed how they made cheese in the days of yesteryear while a lot of the other stuff was just the same as I have out behind my shed – old farming tools they had salvaged and put up on the wall.
How the cavemen used to make cheese
So is Cheeseworld worth visiting?
Look, it aint great. The café is pretty crap and for a place called Cheeseworld you would expect something… well… more cheesy (but in a good way). Most vineyards put on a better show and I don’t know of any that call themselves Wineworld. But if you are driving along the Great Ocean Road or, like us, having a little holiday in close-by Warrnambool then it’s a distraction for half an hour.
One could reasonably expect that a place that names themselves ‘Cheeseworld’ would be capable of a decent Cheeseburger. Otherwise they have no business naming themselves as such – rather they should name themselves ‘Mediocreworld’ or ‘Processeddairyworld’ or something.
Luckily for them, Cheeseworld won’t have to rename itself any time soon.
This was a pretty damn tasty cheeseburger! In fact perhaps the best cheeseburger I have ever eaten! It was quite simplistic but then I believe part of its flavor came from its simplicity, much the way a pizza you eat in actual Italy with only a few toppings tastes so much better than one you have in Aus. You know, with 50 different toppings with their competing flavors overwhelming the taste-buds. The Cheeseworld Cheeseburger consisted of a juicy, thick brown beef patty complimented with a combination of thick, creamy mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato relish (though I opted out of that – good on them for actually letting customers modify their burger) and some soft fresh buns. But what made this a brilliant cheeseburger was indeed the cheese.
Oh the cheesy-beefy goodness!
Above the patty was a slice of cheese whilst just below it was grated cheese. Both different varieties of Coon (for our overseas readers that is the name of a cheese brand here in Australia – yes I know they should change it but overseas comedians have a great time with the concept every time they visit here. Just watch the last half dozen appearances of Stephen K Amos on Spicks’n’Specks [another name that could use a more politically correct moniker]). And it was these two cheeses, both very slightly melted from the beef patty, that made this burger great. The whole thing was tasty, flavorful, had excellent texture and with a side of chips was reasonably priced. Not the fanciest cheeseburger on the planet but certainly the tastiest I have sampled – well done!
Whilst on the subject of the Cheeseworld café menu, let’s look at the opposite end. They had home-made large pies on the menu but dissapointingly were sold out so I tried their ‘Home-made Beef & Pork steamed Dim Sims’. These looked great; huge and plump and a bargain at $1.80 each. I ordered 3 thinking the family could share them – my wife and son like beef well enough but my daughter, who is not yet two, has developed a taste for pork that rivals my own!
Smelled like encased animal droppings – tasted about the same.
How can I sum up these Dim Sims? Worst. Dimmies. Ever! Absolutely disgusting! It was like they had accidentally knocked half a jar of raw cumin into the mix and hadn’t noticed. My wife tried a bite and gave me almost the exact same response my brother-in-law did when I was trying the 1.5kg pork challenge at Hofbrauhaus a few months ago: ‘No, that’s disgusting! Don’t eat that – you’ll be sick!’ A buck eighty a piece and I still felt ripped off, so awful that even when I subsequently covered them with soy sauce I couldn’t even finish one.
So, when travelling along the Great Ocean Road, if you happen to stop at Cheeseworld I heartily recommend the Cheeseworld Cheeseburger. I don’t recommend the Dimmies unless you enjoy something that tastes like buckshot mixed with entrails.
Note: For those Blog readers who are unaware, Ozformers is the Australian site for Transformer Fans and is actually the longest running such site in the world! I’ve been peddling my entertaining brand of bullshit on there for many’s a year and it was in part the enjoyment I experienced writing on there that made me start my own blog. Every year they have a vote for the Ozformer member of the year (which always ends up being the website owner Griffin) but some fellow site users have been campaigning on my behalf for the last twelve months. The following is me trying to give them value for their humorous perseverance.
OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE
Offices of Big Transformer Trev, candidate for Ozformer Member of the Year
My fellow Ozformer members,
while I have been busy with other matters of state it seems the pro/con Trev debate has heated up in my absence. So let me now as your candidate address the issue that concern you, the public, whom I am here to serve.
*The Current Incumbent: Now Griffin is indeed the owner, administrator and general Grand Poobah of Ozformers. There is not a member here that does not acknowledge this or is not grateful to him for providing this wonderful site for us all to enjoy. But ask yourselves, on top of the myriad of time-consuming responsibilities he already has, is it fair to once again heap the duties associated with being Ozformer Member of the Year on his already overburdened shoulders? I think not. Let the poor fellow get on with what he does best and let someone handle all the public appearances, kissing babies, wining and dining foreign toy dignitaries etc that the winner of the Ozzies is expected to do.
*Why a new representative? Well for a start, if you vote me in you will be getting a celebrity to be the face of Ozformers. Remember, look in the background of any Australian-made, Melbourne-based tv cop show from the late 90’s (Blue Heelers, Halifax FP, Stingers, Good Guys Bad Guys etc) and you will see me milling around in the background as an extra. Star power or what! Frankly if it wasn’t for my well-known hatred of Reality TV I’m sure I’d have been asked to appear on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! by now. And of course most recently I’m known in print, television and social media as the guy who photographed a dead snake.
BTT’s POLICIES
Sensible policies for a happier future
*By the year 2020 no child will be living without Transformer toys
*There will be two Stunticons in every garage
*Full series Box Sets of Rescue Bots to be produced by Madman Entertainment
*Once a year on the solstice all Ozformers will come together on my farm to build a giant straw effigy of Michael Bay, which we will then set alight while we chant and dance naked around it under the moon
*I will make Hasbro and Takara release ALL Transformer related products in Australia.
*No GST on imported goods! This is a SHAMEFUL policy that both sides of parliament are currently trying to enact! They say it’s so that you will buy locally instead of buying your goods from overseas via the internet, but what if…
-A: You live in a rural area where youcannotpurchase the items you require at your local store? Most Aussie companies charge ruinous postal fees to send you an item, you often pay more in postage to get something from Melbourne than from the other side of the globe! Last I checked, my little bush town doesn’t have any of the big chains I can go to and get anything I require.
-B:They don’t make and/or sell the item you want in Australia at all? For those with their eye a Carnifex figure, I don’t think you’ll be buying one at your local K-Mart. There are many products that are sold nowhere in this wide brown land of ours, its not a matter of not wanting to shop locally – we can’t!
ENDORSEMENTS
So the choice is clear my Ozformer Brethren (and Sistren of course). Vote #1 Big Transformer Trev this Ozformer awards. Sure I might be not the most obvious candidate, or the most fragrant, or the most sane if it comes to that. But just listen to these uncoerced endorsements from fellow Ozformer members:
SINNERTWIN
Sensible, Mature, Responsible… These aren’t words that anyone can use to describe Trev, and nobody should. That would be lying, and lying is bad for the soul.
Don’t lie to yourselves. Vote 1. Vote Trev.
BTT 2016.
STARSCREAM77
The following has been authorised and paid for by the BTT416 Campaign:
In Trev We Trust
Not just a throw away line but a creed we as the followers of the great man, BTT, choose to live our life by. If ever we have doubts in life we ask ourselves ‘what would Trev do?’ and the correct answer presents itself.
If we do not do the moral and ethical must that is vote BTT for 2016 then I question the entire fibre of life itself!
Yours faithfully
SS77
JETFIRE_IN_THE_SKY
“Anyone who doesn’t vote for BTT is a cheese eating surrender monkey”
Ah the internet, where everyone can agree on the big things like peace and love, but will get into blindingly hateful arguments over something like are Tiny Teddies considered a biscuit or a cookie.
Since the picture I took of a Redback Spider feeding on a ‘Blind Snake’ went viral, there have been dozens of people arguing about species. Whilst everyone agrees it is a Redback spider and most people seem to agree with my assessment that it is a Blind Snake, lots of people have their own theories about what the Redback is actually feeding on, some arguing for different species of snake and some arguing that it is a completely different creature all together!
Now whilst I initially thought it was a Brown Snake, which some people have messaged me to say they think it actually is, I concluded it was a Blind Snake as it strongly resembled those I have accidentally dug up from time to time around my property.
Ramphotyphlops australis – the Blind Snake. Source: Museum VictoriaBut could I be wrong? Nay, stay your disbelief! I actually can be wrong you know – it happens about once a decade (anyone who saw my cowlick hairdo in the 90’s or met my first wife in the 00’s knows I can make HUGE errors in judgment). I was taking photos with one hand and keeping my kids back with the other before I disposed of the whole grizzly scene so I didn’t exactly manage to get my Junior Scientist kit out for a proper examination. I went via the evidence of my eyes and previous experience, both of which have stood me well in the past.
So what are the other theories out there? I’ve already mentioned some believe it is a Brown Snake but completely different animals seems to be the order of the day:
EARTHWORM THEORY
Michael Piggott of Epsom in Victoria believes it may be a giant Earthworm.
“Well I can’t see a head in the picture. It looks pointy at both ends. Snakes normally have a pointy end and a bitey end. I was in the pet store looking at baby snakes on Friday and they look very different to yours. They actually look quite beautiful.”
Victorian Giant Earthworm. Source: Museum VictoriaDespite Michael not living locally, it seems according to Social Media there quite a few Swanhillians who agree with Michael’s assessment and it is usually the people who live in an area that are in the know.
LEGLESS LIZARD THEORY
The most prevalent theory I have been presented with is that it is a Legless Lizard. This has been touted by everyone from day workers to former school Principals.
Legless Lizard – photo provided by Tabatha TihomimovTabatha Tihomimov, an avid snake enthusiast who boasts 80 live snakes in her personal collection is one of the people getting behind the Legless Lizard theory:
“I think it’s a Legless Lizard because of the scale pattern (smooth scales) and the tiny little leg, shape of the head etc”
It seems most of the people who don’t think it is a Blind Snake believe Tabatha to be correct on this score.
SLIDER SKINK THEORY
After the photo had been circulating for a few days, we had interest come from the scientific community itself!
Heath Butler, who has an Honours degree in Zoology and has studied the movement patterns of Tiger Snakes had a new theory:
“It’s a Slider Skink (Lerista punctatovittata). They are practically legless. No Australian blind snake has a pointed snout like that, or a tapered tail”
This was soon supported by Heath’s former professor, Mr Nick Clemann. Nick is a Senior Scientist at theArthur Rylah Institute, where he leads the Threatened Fauna Program. Nick specializes in reptiles and amphibians and has spent years studying the Mallee and Riverina herpetofauna
“The pointed snout clearly shows that this is a Lerista skink – and most certainly not a Ramphotyphlops. I have worked with both for many years, and I can assure you that Heath is correct. Furthermore, you will notice that the lizard changes colour from where the body ends and the tail begins (tellingly, right about where the rear legs are!). At the very bottom of the photograph you can see the alternating black and white colour pattern that is typical of the dorsal surface of Lerista punctatovittata, and does not occur on Blind Snakes. Lastly, you can even see the tiny, vestigial forelimb.”
Image provided by Nick ClemannThis was also supported by Geoff Heard, a Post Doctoral Researcher at theUniversity of Melbourne. Geoff studies frog movement and disease, and works with Mr Clemann on reptiles around Victoria, including in the Mallee, where he has an ongoing trapping program to examine the effects of fire on reptiles.
“Heath is spot on”.
Someone else who asserts it is a Slider Skink is Mr Michael Swan who has been a Senior Reptile Keeper withZoos Victoria for 17 years.
“It’s definitely not a snake…….and it does appear to be Lerista punctatovittata”
I asked Mr Clemann about Legless Lizards and how that seemed to be the popular choice for what this creature is and asked was there really much of a difference between a Legless Lizard and a Slider Skink. He answered thusly:
“There is much confusion around common names, which is why scientists like to use scientific names. There are 5 families of lizards in Australia: skinks, dragons, goannas/monitors, geckos and legless lizards. Legless lizards are technically very closely related to geckos. So a skink is no more a legless lizard than a goanna is a gecko. And skinks vary enormously in size. Australia’s smallest lizard (called Grey’s Skink) is about 3 to 4 cm in total length when fully grown, but things like Stumpy-tailed Lizards and Blue-tongued Lizards are also skinks.
Like legless lizards, some skinks have greatly reduced limbs, usually because they have evolved to live underground, or to ‘snake’ their way through thick vegetation. Leristas are an example of this. But they are NOT legless lizards, they are skinks.”
So what IS it?
So what this creature be? Brown Snake?Giant Earthworm? Do we believe the large group who think it is a Legless Lizard? Do we believe the scientists and experts with their years of training and their consensus that it is a Slider Skink? Or do we believe Big Angry Trev who stared at it for 2 minutes before crushing it with a watering can that it was a Blind Snake. Yes yes, I know your first instinct is to simply agree with me and believe whatever I say – it’s usually where the smart money is. But I must admit, I tend to defer to scientists and Heath and his crew make very persuasive arguments but then the likes of Tabatha certainly knows more about reptiles than I.
The photo that sparked a national debate!
Write in the comments below what you believe the creature is, I would love to read your opinion!
