The NEWEST most evil animal in the world!

August 25, 2016 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

For years I have believed, quite rightly, that Octopus were truly the most evil of all animals (for details on why I believed this the case please see my blog post HERE). However I have to be man enough to admit when I am wrong, when I have made a mistake. Because I have discovered an animal that is even MORE evil that Octopus, a creature that causes such pain and misery that it’s eradication is well overdue.

This evil creature is the Australian Paralysis Tick.

Who knew the ultimate evil would be so small? I always thought it would look like my ex-wife - though there is a certain resemblance with the hair legs and pincer-like mouth — *Who knew the ultimate evil would be so small? I always thought it would look like my ex-wife – though there is a certain resemblance with the hairy legs and bulbous arse*

What this tick does is truly abominable, truly evil, truly horrendous. This little bastard will bite some animal like a bandicoot or something and take something called alpha-gel from the animal away with it. Then when this gelled-up tick see’s you it leapfrogs on like the mini-assassin it is. It crawls inside your clothing and bites you to suck your blood, little vampire fragger, and deposits some of the gel. Now this can cause things like rashes or even an anaphylactic reaction. But there is something it’s bite does that goes waaaay beyond that.

It’s bite… wait for this… it’s bite can make you ALLERGIC TO RED MEAT!

Let me say it again so the full horror of this can sink in…

IT’S. BITE. CAN. MAKE. YOU. ALLERGIC. TO. RED. MEAT!

Have you ever heard of anything so frighteningly horrible in all your days?! You can’t eat red meat anymore! You can never in your life have a steak again – ever! No pork, beef or lamb for you for the rest of your now miserable days!

I don’t believe in suicide personally, but f*ck me! If ever something was going to make me put a bullet through my own brainpan it would be that!

There are three true joys of life: Family, Transformers and Meat. Those are the top three without question, undebatable. Beer & Hobby Farming come a close 4^th and 5^th but those are the three that truly make life special, bring joy to your soul, let you know that the world is a wondrous place (yeah sex is good too and probably up there when you are young, but when you have a family it’s just a nice treat for those ultra-rare times when the kids are asleep and you are both not exhausted).

Anyway, imagine yourself sitting outside on a sunny spring day, having lunch with your family on your little farm, watching the bee’s and butterflies flying from tree to tree pollinating your fruit crop. Birdsong in the air. Your son is playing with his Stunticons at the table while you have your latest Protectobot sitting inside awaiting your attention. You have a beer in one hand and sitting in front of you is…. a salad.

What is wrong with this picture?

Hmmmm. Family – tick. Transformers – tick. Hobby Farm – tick. Beer – tick. Meat…..

…. where the f*ck is the f*cking meat?! No good tick there because some bad tick decided to f*cking bite you!

Now I don’t mind veggies, hell I grow a lot of’em. But they are the secondary food source, they are there to add a little colour to your meal which by all rights should have a steak so big it’s overlapping the edges of the plate. To take that away from someone, to deny someone that true pleasure for the rest of their lives….. I’m getting all teary just thinking about those poor souls it has happened to. Yes you can technically still eat chicken and fish – but for every damn meal? Forever?! And fish is a honorary meat at best, ranked alongside cheese and potatoes.

So that’s what this bastard of a creature does – truly the total prick of the animal world! Apparently this tick lives on the east coast of Australia, spread out from Lakes Entrance in Victoria up to Cooktown in far north Queensland. Or as I refer to it “The area of Australia I will now never, ever visit again!”

Where is the government on this? It’s been recently announced that the AIDS epidemic in Australia is now officially over, the sector that has monitored it said that the statistics of AIDS in Australia are now so low that they are not really quantifiable. So if an awful disease that stopped people enjoying sex is at an end, how about we channel all that funding into combating this latest horrific threat that stops people enjoying red meat!

*They might be a thousand miles from here but not taking any damn chances!*

Where are the guys is Hazmat Suits, with giant magnifying glasses and flamethrowers stalking through every tick ravaged area, destroying these filthy little mongrels? Why has the entire eastern coast of Australia not been evacuated so that giant airships full of tick-killing spray can strafe the areas for weeks, killing each and every single one! Hell, maybe we could get giant earth digging equipment and cut off the entire eastern edge of Australia and shove it out to sea where we could safely bomb it into oblivion.

Seems a bit extreme I know, but I’d rather let loose a bunch of nukes than never eat a porterhouse again. I can take living on the continent that has the most poisonous spiders and snakes, has the biggest crocs and sharks, but there is only so much a man can stand.

F*ck you Australian Paralysis Tick, you dirty f*cking evil little prick tick bastard you!

Ask Trev!, Random Rants

Ask Trev – “What am I thinking?”

August 23, 2016 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

This question comes from Lucielle, all the way over in Gauteng in South Africa “What am I thinking?”

Well, my educated guess would be “Holy crap! I asked this question 4 months ago as a joke – he is actually answering this?!” And I bet I am not far off the mark 😉

But the truthful answer is that I don’t know because I am not a mind reader.

Do you know why I am not a mind-reader? Because mind-readers, psychics, soothsayers, precognitives, astrologists, fortune tellers, tarot card and palm readers and all of their ilk are FULL OF F*CKING SHIT!

No-one can read your mind – NO ONE! This is NOT a debate people, they can’t do it! And anyone who says they can are either self-deluded or a con artist or most likely both! After a while people begin to believe their own bullshit.

I won’t go into how these people trick you in to thinking that they are psychic or can read your mind or the future – that has been well documented. Everything from your age, sex, expression, tone of voice to even the state of your home tells them a wealth about you and after years of experience these people are very good at it. They know what you want to hear, they know what you will believe, and they will tell you exactly that. They are TRICKING YOU, they are CONNING you, they WANT YOUR MONEY!

And what tells them more about a person than anything else is usually that the person was gullible enough to fork out their money to them in the first place.

I don’t mean to criticize people who believe this stuff – oh wait, I do. And I do it because I care so with all tact may I say – WAKE UP! It’s 2016 – how many times do people need to prove to you that this stuff is bullshit before you catch on? Why believe the loonies but not the educated folk? It’s along the same lines as people who believe that immunizations cause Autism – they will happily believe a doctor who was so off the mark he got stripped of his medical licence and became a joke in his field, but not the reputable doctors, scientists and warehouses full of information that prove beyond doubt that Autism has nothing to do with immunizations! And it’s their kids that suffer. And if parents are spending money on these psychic cranks instead of food and shelter for their kids then I’m guessing they are suffering too.

I think the perfect example of how all this is crap is that they now have televised psychic hotlines. Dear Primus – have you seen the women manning these phones? None of them look psychic to me, they all look like they dropped out of high school, bought really bad jumpers at a thrift store and then found jobs where they could sit on their ever-expanding arses and just talk bullshit into a phone, all whilst charging some poor sucker a minimum $5 a minute! (By the way, for those people that ring phone sex lines, I’m guessing that my description above applies there too, not a lot of super-models are doing that job). What are the people ringing these lines thinking? I mean – they can SEE who they are talking to! I wouldn’t trust these low-rent bitches to advise me on how to boil an egg, let alone how to live my life!

And now there are ‘Pet Psychics’ – people who will tell you what your goldfish is thinking. I mean – f*ck! Are we really still this stupid as a society?!?

All of this points to the fact that perhaps stupid people breed too much and that we need to enforce laws where bullshit is outlawed. They should have a special crimes division – the ‘AMPED’ Crimes Unit where they bust charlatans for ‘ACTIVELY MAKING PEOPLE EVEN DUMBER’. They should be able to bust down doors and say “Nope – what you are doing is a load of wank and if you don’t knock it off we are putting a f*cking bullet in your skull!” Also perhaps mandatory sterilizing of any of their customers who, after being shown evidence to the contrary refuse to stop believe in this stuff, is a good idea. We are facing a resources crisis this century people – in 50 years there won’t be enough fresh water to support the planets population. How about we stop the people that refuse to stop believing in psychics breeding and shoot the unconscionable f*ckers that prey on their gullibility and stupidity? At the rate society is going, I reckon that at a conservative estimate this would probably equal at least 1 in 10. Knock all them off and the planet might just survive being infested with this scourge called humanity after all.

Lets put it in the next census and make it not confidential – “Do you believe in psychics and will never change your mind?” If you tick ‘yes’ then the next day a van comes around with two big burly doctors saying ‘Sorry, you’ve lost the rights to your reproductive organs because chances are you will have a kid with someone just a stupid as you and your kids will end up even dumber yet again. We need all the water and oxygen for the non-morons’. And it would work because anyone stupid enough to believe in mind-readers after having it explained why it is false would be stupid enough to tick ‘yes’ on the form, even knowing the consequences.

I know I am coming across harsh here. The majority of the people that read this blog most likely don’t believe in psychics and palm reading and all the rest, but there may be some that do. Believe it or not I am on your side. Because I want you to stop believing in things that aren’t true. I want you to see through the veil of bullshit. I want to meet up with you in a bar and be able to say “You stopped letting these liars and moral leeches sucker you in and steal your money, let me buy you a beer!” I’m begging you to respect yourself and please – don’t believe any of it! Just don’t. Be smart, be smarter than the bullshit artists. And bust your friends when they are dumb enough to fall for one of these fraudsters cons – you will be doing them a favor. There is a difference between allowing people their beliefs and allowing people to believe complete and utter false crap pedaled by people with no conscience whatsoever. If you believe in all this stuff and think I have just been really mean to you, I can guarantee you I am not being as mean as they are because they are lying to you and taking your money on purpose – I’m just trying to give you a mental slap in the face so you can not be taken advantage of any more. I’m showing you respect by believing you can change – they are disrespecting on so many levels its not funny. There is so much cool stuff to believe in in this magnificently huge, spectacular universe – you don’t need to believe in total crap like tarot cards, again – respect yourself!

Hmmmmm, and now my super-senses are telling me that Lucielle is thinking “Holy shit, Trev needs to calm down, I was just joking!”

Question answered Lucielle my friend 🙂

Transformatorium, Transformer Toy Reviews

Toy Review – Titans Return Soundwave

August 22, 2016 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

Operation: Soundwave Review

Perhaps even surpassing Megatron, Soundwave is along with Optimus Prime the most recognizable and remembered characters and toys from the 1980’s – even non-TF fans remember Soundwave with a fondess – there was something just so cool about him! A tape deck that ejected micro-cassettes that turned into animals and robots and was a bad guy had massive appeal. And here we see Soundwave recreated yet again, this time for the first time as a Headmaster with Titans Return Soundwave.

Robot Mode

It’s lucky that both Blaster and Soundwave are boxy characters, so with a simple palette swap, a new head and a shoulder cannon this does looks like Soundwave rather than a recoloured Blaster (which he is after all). The proportions are ok though I would have liked to see more articulation. Nothing beats a Soundwave that can actually bend his arm upwards and press his eject button (aka MP SW). His gun is from Blaster and for those in the know it looks nothing like Soundwaves regular firearm which is a bit disappointing, but I suppose even Transformers are allowed to change their armament every few million years.

Tape Deck Mode

The smartest thing they did here was to change the way the speakers look. It now looks like a tape deck from the early nineties rather than a proper Ghetto Blaster (all you kids born this century, you might have to do some research here to know what I am talking about). The mode looks better than I thought it would; it looks sleek and somber, just a shame there is the odd little gap here and there.

Base Mode

This mode suits Soundwave far more than Blaster (who I still maintain should have turned into a DJ booth with dance floor. For a review of TR Blaster – see HERE). The darker colour scheme works for the mode as well as the extra cannon. Overall better than I expected.

Soundblaster

For those that didn’t follow the JP G1 cartoon, Soundwave and Blaster killed each other but got rebuilt by their respective leaders, Soundwave turning into Soundblaster (the only difference with the toy besides a darker colour scheme was it could hold 2 cassettes). Soundblaster has been brought back here but this time as Soundwaves head. The funny thing is that they redid the face on his back to look like Soundwave, as well as his little head, but the legs are still those of Twin Cast (Blasters Headmaster partner) with the speakers on the front. Since it would not have affected the face, they should have made his front much darker to represent Soundblaster more.

Transformation

No change from Blaster. If you haven’t converted Blaster know that this figure isn’t difficult for a leader class figure. There is no real challenge here, however transforming him for the first time you have to engage your brain to turn him in to what is a reasonably two dimensional alt-mode as the Tape Deck. Conversion to base mode is very straight forward.

Overall

Soundwave is one of two figures which can be said to be a crossover between Combiner Wars and Titans Return, given that CW Buzzsaw can be put into TR Soundwave in both Robot and Tape Deck modes. Interestingly in the instructions it only mentions him being compatible with the upcoming Laserbeak and Ravage, most likely as these toys are to be released soon (bet Hasbro is just thrilled with IDW for having killed Ravage 6 weeks ago in MTMTE #55). The fact you can insert these smaller figures into him along with the Headmaster gimmick and he is a triple changer means there is a lot of playability with this figure. While certainly not the ultimate Soundwave toy, on the whole this one is pretty good and it’s nice to see Soundwave once again as a musical device rather than a van or truck.

Got your own thoughts on Titans Return Soundwave? Would love to hear them in the comments section below!

Transformer Toy Reviews

Toys Review – The Mayhem Attack Squad

August 12, 2016 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

The Mayhem Attack Squad, a group of psychotic Decepticons grouped together to follow their leaders evil whims in the old G1 comic (and to give a reason to put new toys coming out into print). Now decades later we see the group revitalized by the latest Transformers Collectors Club subscription service toys and with a new gimmick – they combine! Lets have a look at this pack of alien-mechanoid rouges as well as their combined form – THUNDER MAYHEM!

Grabuge
Nicely proportioned, nice colours and they didn’t even need to bother with a new headsculpt since Off-Road was originally going to be Ruckus. I think the axe is a good choice for Ruckus – sorry – Grabuge. You can sorta balance his cannon in his backpack as a reminder of his Triggercon heritage but it doesn’t really work.

Windsweeper

The wings can fold back but I prefer to leave them out, the silver on the wing missiles really pop and also this configuration makes the figure look a bit more G1-Windsweeper-ish. The head is really good on him and the colours overall work quite well.

Spinister
The head is a little squarish and the optics a tad big but otherwise pretty good. Nothing new otherwise physically with the mold. Certainly a lot less stocky than G1 Spinister and the colour scheme is dead on. The two targetmaster partners work well both as guns or as sidekicks.

Needlenose

A very nicely proportioned robot and while they got the face just right I would have liked to see more work on his helmet. The colours are pretty good and his Targemaster partners sit snugly in his grip as well as looking good as little sidekicks. I’d say this is probably the best Needlenose figure we have ever had so kudos to Funpub for coming through.

Bludgeon

By far his strongest mode. Bludgeon is a character that is strongly associated with his Pretender Shell and it’s not been often he has been depicted just as the robot beneath (the G2 and DW comics do spring to mind however). I found this to be a most excellent representation of how Bludgeon would look without his shell if he just concentrated on beefing up his robot mode. The proportions are really good, the colour scheme works a lot better and they did the headsculpt very well. Add in a couple of giant swords and the robot mode is a real winner overall! However it is really hard to beat ROTF Bludgeon for a look that encapsulates both the inner robot and outer shell look combined.

Grabuge – Off-Road Truck

A shame that Beachcomber did not crop up in Combiner Wars as it would have nice to see Ruckus – sorry – Grabuge – done as a Dune Buggy rather than a ute, however it’s still a good choice for the character. The colour scheme is nice, though they have what were relatively small stickers on the original Ruckus into a major part of the colour scheme of the back of the ute here. Still, the paintjobt is pretty good considering that many the G1 Decepticons from 87 onwards had pretty awful colour schemes and the original Ruckus is part of that era. Attaching the cannons in the tray of the ute somewhat gives a shout out to his Triggercon origins.

Windsweeper – Attack Jet
A shame there wasn’t a deluxe CW mold that was a bit more like his G1 incarnation, they would have had to go with Silverbolt to get something more indicativie. But it’s a pretty cool looking jet and the colour scheme not only is fairly character accurate but makes the colours work a bit better than the original toy did.

Spinister – Attack Chopper
I’m not a great fan of how slim this mold is, it didn’t quite work for me as Blades and Vortex and I get the same feeling with Spinister. Still, they got that garish 1988 colour scheme just right! One thing – do NOT try to put the Targetmaster partners into the little black exhaust hubs on the sides of Spinisters vehicle mode. I tried and not only are they that mill too thick but trying to push them in will wear the black paint off very easily and show the pink underneath. You have to attach them via turning his arms around so the fist is up which puts his missiles in an awkward position.

Needlenose – Fighter Jet

They really did a nice job of homaging the original figure here and I really like that unlike Spinister you can connect his Targetmaster partners under the wings. They have done their best with the G1 colour scheme they had to use and made it look a lot more stylish than it used to. As ever the letdown is those damn arms sitting out at the sides of the jet, I wish they had fixed that.

Bludgeon – Anti-Aircraft Truck

Whilst not a tank which most Bludgeons over the years have turned into, this feels like a tank on steroids that mutated into a anti-aircraft truck. Whilst the green is a bit strong and garish, the browns help even the colour out somewhat, though then you deal with the two purple cannons on top. It’s pretty cool overall but there is one significant drawback – the dome of Thunder Mayhems head is very noticeable sticking out of the top. Really looks like he is about to pop up at any moment like a freaky jack-in-the-box.

Thunder Mayhem

Thunder Mayhem is made up of the 5 members of the Mayhem Attack Squad. The reasoning behind the combined mode is that Thunderwing, not Bludgeon, was the leader of the Mayhem Attack Squad so their combined mode becomes an homage to him. The Thunderwing head is very good, perhaps with more expression than any of the Gestalts from both the CW and UW lines – got a real psychotic sneer to him!

The colour scheme however is a real hodge-podge. It’s pretty unavoidable considering the different characters that make up this Combiner but when compared to the likes of Superion, Defensor and Devastator you see why having team-mates with similar colour schemes is a good move for Combiner groups to have. Bright greens, dull reds, purples, yellows, greys, blues etc etc – it looks like Primus swallowed a kids paint palette then threw up on the poor guy. But he is supposed to be a monstrosity powered by a corrupted matrix so monster-wise it works.

The dimensions are like all the other recent combiners, the legs are a bit stubby and the feet too small whilst the arms are almost orangutan like in their length. But Thunder Mayhem in the end is no worse for wear than any of the others and considering he is made up of 2 jets, a helicopter, a ute and an anti-aircraft truck you can forgive these imperfections.

Weapons-wise Bludgeons twin-swords match his stature quite well and of course you can take the cannons off the back for him to use as pistols. It’s a shame there is no clear place for the four Targemaster partners to go – plenty of places to connect them but none really seem to fit and they look ludicrously small in his hands.

So overall a freaky-yet-fun Gestalt and a pretty cool combiner group. For the most part I will be keeping the Mayhem Attack Squad separate so I can finally have the likes of Windsweeper and Ruckus sitting in my Generations Display.

Random Reviews, Transformatorium

Comic Shop Review: Good vs Evil

August 10, 2016 Big Angry Trev 1 Comment

Living in the countryside for a pop-culture fanatic can be hard. Everyone plays footy instead of watching sci-fi and good luck when it comes to finding someone that can translate a Klingon text for you. However if you are in Victoria, at least if you are into comics you are covered, thanks to a shop called Good vs Evil.

Located in Bendigo, Good vs Evil would easily have the biggest comics range in central Victoria. A whole wall in adorned in comics and there are usually plentiful stacks of all the latest issues to come out that week sitting on the counter for you to peruse.

Like many comic shops these days, Good vs Evil has diversified to take into account the ever expanding needs and interests of the Pop Culture enthusiast. There are sections of DVDs, a full section of various Manga and of course the obligatory collectables such as Pop! figures and and board games based on movies and video games.

There is also the Games Workshop section. Now all that stuff is kinda a closed book to me, I tend to look at it in the same way outsiders look at me collecting Transformers, thinking “Wow – do the guys into this ever get laid?”. But I’ve seen on Saturday afternoons the store opened up with tables set up for big groups of guys all sitting there playing this stuff so it must have its appeal, and its great to have somewhere to meet to indulge the interest.

Speaking of Transformers, here is why I personally shop there. Matt, the owner, is a fellow TF fan and I have been relying on his faithful service to get me every TF comic I require for the past five years. He always comes though, and something that is a sign of a proprietor that genuinely cares about his clientele, I’ve often rocked into the store for him to say “Trev, I saw this and knew you would want it and chucked it aside for ya”. After this fashion I’ve gotten all the FP TF publications over the last few years as well as the physical copies of what were originally net comics. And if ever I find out about a comic that is now years old that I want, Matt is sure to do his best to track it down for me – a top bloke indeed!

How can you not trust two dudes in Grimlock t-shirts?

So if you are after a Comic Shop experience where the owner is the guy behind the counter and will look after ya, will cater for everything you need to the best of the stores ability, and can be a great place to just hang out, then I heartily suggest visiting Good vs Evil in Bendigo. Tell’em Big Angry Trev sent ya!

P.S: There has been no ‘Comics for Comments’ deal here. If anything I’m slightly resentful towards Matt – I’d love nothing better than to run my own comic shop and that bugger is living the dream I should be!

Note: If in one of the major cities I can recommend Pulp Fiction in Adelaide and Comics R Us in Melbourne. Pulp Fiction is small but the owner is great for a laugh and will pour through box after box to find you what you want. Comics R Us in Melbourne has a funny crew of guys who have often had Bill Hicks playing on the store speakers of a Sunday morning and their glass cabinets often have a range of old 80’s toys in there that the rare toy hunter will drool over. Minotaur in Melbourne has a huge range of pop culture stuff but it can all be quite expensive. There is also Kings Comics in Sydney that I visited many years ago that I found some HOC figues at and I quite liked Daily Planet comics in Brisbane. I’ve been to one other there but can’t remember which. Should I ever hit up these big cities again a more detailed review will come your way!

Random Reviews

Movie Review: Star Trek Beyond

August 10, 2016 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

To boldly go where no movie has gone before? Well, considering this is the 13^th Star Trek flick its going where the movies have been going for decades! Simon Pegg once said that every odd numbered Star Trek movie is shit, considering he cowrote this one lets see if his prophecy is self-fulfilling with Star Trek Beyond.

The third in the new series of Star Trek movies, this picks up a few years after the last one, where the crew of the Enterprise are three years into their 5 year mission. Kirk is getting sick of travelling deep space and wants to move to the admiralty (as he had in the very first, and arguably, very worst Star Trek flick) and Spock is considering resigning his commission to go help what survivors of the Vulcan race are left after the events of the first of the new Star Trek movies.

But of course, something comes up (otherwise this would be a movie about politics and administration and we already have the Star Wars movies from the 90’s for that). An alien woman asking for help for her crew stranded on the other side of a nebula which blocks all scanning and transmissions. And off goes The Enterprise like intergalactic boy scouts to do some good.

Very quickly we are treated to a big space-battle scene. Thousands of dart-shaped ships acting as swarm, smashing into the Enterprise from all directions! Some of these darts pierce the ship to release soldiers, others are just used to tear big holes in the hull. The Enterprise very quickly finds itself completely outmatched and over the prolonged scene we get to see it completely destroyed a piece at a time. Soon only a damaged saucer section is left and it goes crashing into the planet below (much like Star Trek: Generations).

The reason for all this? Some little disk thingy the bad guy wants, that ironically Kirk tried to give to a bunch of ugly little fraggers at the start of the movie that were too paranoid to accept it. After everything moves planetside the bad guy discovers he does not have it due to a switch and all the surviving Enterprise crew are either held in a detention camp or, if they are one of the stars, emerging from evacuation pods in the forest.

We are treated to some nice scenes between Spock and Bones during their struggle to find shelter for the seriously injured Spock, though they lack the magic, adversarial repartee that Kelly and Nimoy were always able to bring. We also come to know the one good alien in the movie, a blond, slightly scary, slightly sexy survivalist who Scotty brokers a friendship with. Over the film she becomes one of the few characters you actually come to care about – for an alien she comes across a lot more fragile yet strong and human than most of the actual human characters. Strangely, Kirk doesn’t try to shag her, it must have been an off day for him what with losing the Enterprise and all.

As the crew on the loose hatch a plan, we get to see the why the bad guy wanted the disk (which Kirk had hidden in a crewmates head. Considering it was Kirk and a female crew member this shows unusually tactful restraint on his part). It triggers a bio-weapon that completely destroys organic life. As weapons go, it’s just a little black cloud so not nearly as impressive as the black-hole generating red goop of the first of the new flicks. He plans to release it into a gigantic space station we saw in the film earlier and which is really one of the major feats of CGI in the movie – it looks fantastic as a brain-bending, gravity altering snow-globe in space.

So off the bad guy goes with his dart-ship armada to lay waste while the crew, now rescued by Kirk on a motorcycle, find an old starship and fly off to stop him. What we are treated to is the next big battle scene in the movie which on the one hand is awesome and the other hand has a lot of holes in it. The crew discover that all the darts share a link to stop them crashing into each other and it can be disrupted with loud enough noise if broadcasted close enough. So on goes a track by The Beastie Boys and they surf the space-wave of darts, them blowing up by the thousands to some bitchin tunes!

It sounds awesome, it looks awesome, but in the context of the movie it doesn’t make sense. None of the darts are ever seen to be drones, they all have pilots, so why didn’t they scatter from each other? Also, the ones stationary on the Space Stations hull also blow up – why? They are not crashing into anything and it’s not like the dart and Bones and Spock are flying blows up as well. And while there were thousands of darts before, there are MILLIONS now! Certainty a lot more than were seen leaving the planet earlier. But it makes for cool candy for the senses and we are talking about fictional space battles so I suppose one should not treat it too seriously.

As the battle with the main bad guy (naturally his ship survived while millions of others didn’t) moves into the space station we find out the truth about him. It was his ship on the planet that crashed there over a hundred years ago and through alien technology he and his crew found there they discover a way to live longer, though it mutates them and allows them to an extent to change their bodies. Now I liked this on the whole as I felt one of the things lacking in this movie up to that point was a backstory for the antagonist as well sufficient reasoning for him attacking the Federation. It turns out he was a Captain during wartime but when the wars finished and the Federation evolved into a peaceful society, he found himself a solider without a fight. Thus the bad guy in this movie, much like the Star Trek 2 and Star Trek Into Darkness is a human with extra powers. Kinda cool.

However as cool as this is it leaves more plot holes in the storyline. How did the crew of one small ship, over the course of not much over a century, grow into the millions? How were they able to construct so many of those ships? And if their longevity comes from sucking the lifeforce of other humanoids, how did they find enough aliens in this supposedly remote sector of space to do that without resorting to cannibalizing each other? Frankly, even in this fictional world, it just doesn’t make sense for this old captain to have been able to make such a force with such limited materials and manpower over that time period.

Anyway, the movie comes to its rather predictable conclusion, and reaching the 2 hour mark you feel well and truly ready for it to be done. Protagonist fights antagonist, Kirk sacrifices himself to save space station which results in bad guy getting eaten by own weapon, Kirk about to die but saved by Spock and Bones. For a pretty good movie, the ending was very by-the-numbers and you instinctively know what is going to happen before it does.

So despite the flaws mentioned, is Star Trek Beyond worth watching? Well, yes. The acting is good, the special effects are excellent, the battles are entertaining and if you are a Trekkie like me you can’t bypass one of these flicks. There are also for the Trek savvy lots of nice little Easter Eggs, such as Scotty saying that a ship was taken by a giant green hand (it happened in TOS – no really, it did!), Sulu having a daughter and his partner being male (Sulu had a daughter in Star Trek Generations and in real life George Takei who played him in the original series is a proud homosexual and proponent of gay marriage) and lots of other tiny little nods to other iterations of the franchise. There are also some nice homages to Leonard Nimoy who as most of you would know appeared in the first two new movies but died before this one. Whilst not delving too deep and not being too morose, both at the start and the end of the movie we are shown new Spock dealing with the death of the original Spock and what implications this has for the world.

So yeah, set your phasers to ‘relatively-fun’. It may go where other movies have gone before, but at least it does it with extra explosions and a bitchin soundtrack!

Meaty Goodness!, Tales of the Trev, Videos

Video – Big Angry Trev vs 15 Hot Sauces… in one bite!

August 1, 2016 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

Last year, after having it a few times at a friends house on their beautiful home-grown goat meat, I discovered I had a bit of a taste for Hot Sauces! So when Fathers Day came around I found myself presented with a present with 15 Hot Sauces in it!

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Now, we were having a big rib night at casa’ de Trev and my friends challenged me to eat all 15 Hot Sauces. Their challenge was to try them all in one evening, but as ever I had to up the ante and decided I would take a big beef rib and try all 15 Hot Sauces in ONE BITE! Then to take it even further (like the idiot I am), I decided that I would wash it down with ‘Chlli Beer’ – promised on its to bring tears to the eyes!

This video records the results. Enjoy!

Incidentally, everyone that drank the chilli beer was coughing hard after the merest sip. To me, with my fried throat and tastebuds, it genuinely tastes like water.

Big Angry Trev!

Monthly Archives: August 2016